trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

but she shouldn’t be forced into paying her ex’s lazy arse son’s bills. OK her ex is effectively paying his rent by keeping up on the mortgage but he should be contributing towards bills and helping around the house. Would you put up with that ? I certainly wouldn’t.

He doesn't really have to pay the mortgage. He can stop anytime and there's nothing you can do to force him. Will you be paying your ex for his portion of the house you are living in?. If you want his son to go, you should offer for him to stop paying. You can't expect him to pay half the mortgage of a house he doesn't live in.

I had a lot of sympathy for the OP until she started making up legal points to get her own way.

She has been told multiple times what the legal position is (Ex is entitled to have his son live in a property he co-owns, ex does not legally have to pay half the mortgage - it’s more complex than that).

It’s the wilful refusal to listen and the non-stop arguing with people who are trying to tell her the correct legal position that is annoying people.

If the OP wants her house to herself, she needs to do it through the courts via an Occupation Order or even better by finalising the divorce with a financial order giving her sole ownership of the house.

If your husband signed the divorce papers tomorrow, you would need to sell wouldn’t you? Isn’t there a bit of quid pro quo here that he’s allowing you to stay longer on the house in exchange for his son living there?

The OP hasn't given any detail on the terms of the mortgage or whether it's individually or jointly held.

I agree it is usual for a joint mortgage to be on a joint and several basis, with each mortgagor liable for the whole payment, not just their "share".

This doesn't come across as a Mesher Order situation. The OP and her husband are not divorced, the child" concerned is an adult and the OP can afford the property on her own.

I might be wrong but the definition of a lodger is someone who pays rent. He does not. He is not a lodger.

Yes, that sort of behaviour invariably gets short shrift on the internet. As do people who can't tell the difference between things are this way and things should be this way.

He has the permission of a co-owner to be there. Legally he had every right to force entry and saying otherwise would be a lie.

The key point is that it is not her property (which implies sole ownership), it is their (OP and not yet divorced husband) property and the OP can’t legally keep out someone the husband has given permission to be there (unless there is a court order to the contrary).. Saying otherwise to the police is a lie.

I think this is probably true, and I think she could probably boot him out and change the locks as he doesn't pay rent therefore isn't a tenant. And even if he was, he would be a lodger, not a tenant in law. BUT I wouldn't do that without seeking legal advice personally. If she pisses the ex off by kicking his son out there is nothing stopping the ex from moving back in and letting the step son come back. It seems an intolerable position. OP just needs to get legal advice and buy the ex out somehow.

You apply for a divorce.

Hes not unrelated to the co-owner though, in law the ex can sell his share to an unrelated third party and they can move in! (although unlikely to happen as the mortgage restriction would prevent that)

However the OP has no right, as it stands to prevent the co-owners proxy living in their share, other than an occupation order (but you need grounds for that) or by selling up / buying the other party out.

No, I wouldn’t. I’d finalise the divorce and get his name off my house.

However, I also wouldn’t expect my mortgage to be paid by my ex so I already know the OP sees some things differently to me.

If she wants the financial benefits of still being entangled with her ex, she is stuck with the drawbacks in my view.

It’s absolutely not a Mesher order situation - I said that in one of my previous posts. I only mentioned that because it’s the usual situation where the court make an order allowing one owner to stay in a matrimonial home with the other owner keeping his (it’s usually the father) name on the house.

She can do neither. He has the permission of a co-owner of the property to be there. She can’t put locks on internal doors or fixtures, she can’t change the external locks and she can’t boot him out.

He’s not a tenant, and he’s not a lodger either - a lodger pays rent and usually there is a lodging agreement.

Please pay very little attention to 90% of the posters here, OP, and make sure you get good legal advice ASAP.

If I were you I'd be saving as much money as possible, especially given your current very low mortgage rate, to have a healthy pot of money to help pay your way out of this dreadful situation.

I Never said nor implied it was solely her property! I am confident however that should the police turn up and the OP says the SS does have somewhere to live, namely with his own father, then she will be rid of him

Buy your husband out- the longer you wait, the more you will pay. You are extending a horribly stressful situation for yourself which will cost you mentally and emotionally the longer you don't sort out buying your husband out.It is likely to cost you significant legal costs if you go down the human rights route, as well as house prices increasing in the next two years plus increased legal costs for the divorce and buying him out .
Just sort it out.

I can't wrap my head around a lot of this. You live in a home, part owned by your ex who is bizarrely paying for half the mortgage despite there being no minor children involved.

I'm unsure why you, as a working adult, think another adult who you aren't in a relationship with should be paying for half your accommodation costs on top of their own?

If you don't like living with his son, take steps to sell the property and buy or rent your own so you can live alone.

I think you should just change the locks on him. Expect and accept the ex to stop paying the mortgage. Can you apply for an occupation order?

@DionneEz and no it's not a "breach of your human rights".

Your ex owns half the property and pays half the mortgage. He can give consent for his son to live there, rent free or otherwise.

If you don't like it, pursue your own home with no one else having any stake in it.

In the absence of a court order no she doesn't.

Quite possibly. That doesn’t make it legal and the Family Court will take this into account in deciding whether to force a sale. The OP and her husband are married. There are at least two other properties (OP’s rental and where the Ex lives). The OP says she can afford the mortgage on the matrimonial home. Can she afford to remortgage at today’s higher rate for enough to buy out her Ex’s equity when the rest of the split is taken into account?

If not, upsetting the Ex could result in the OP losing the house entirely. Maybe not but it’s why she needs legal advice before doing anything.

You have been more than patient and tried to be helpful, but unfortunately OP only wants to hear advice that tallies with her wishes.

Have you approached your mortgage company to ask if they will honour the fixed rate for the existing portion of the mortgage and only charge the new rate for the additional borrowing? Mine did this for me last year.

You've had it explained repeatedly.