trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

The fact that your husband has been charged with violence against you gives you the right to change the locks and if this happens to be when the step son is out then that would be convenient for you. The husband might choose not to pay the mortgage at this point but as long as you can afford to pay it then he can’t get any money from you without going to court and getting a divorce and full financial settlement. It does sound like you husband is still trying to control you - I think it’s difficult to understand how difficult it is to get out of a controlling relationship until you have been in that situation so be kind to yourself but be strong. Best wishes

You've given the SS reasonable notice. If he's refusing to leave you can ask the police to intervene as he's now a trespasser (has no rights as he's an adult with no tenancy agreement and not on the deeds). However, you cannot legally change the locks without the agreement of the co-owner, your ex. This means the SS could potentially gain re-entry if he has a key. Also, there's a danger the SS could lock you out when you're not around and claim squatters rights, so think before you do anything drastic.

Ultimately, as others have said, you need to move or buy your ex out. In the meantime though, I'd make things uncomfortable for SS. Change the WiFi password. Take the router with you when you leave the house (he can otherwise reset it to factory settings himself). Make sure you're not doing any laundry for him. Don't clean his room or his bedcovers. Absolutely no access to any groceries - lock away what you can, or get a nice lock for the door to that new kitchen you purchased. Is your electrical switchboard in a cupboard? Lock that too and flip the switches that affect him when you need to (obvs don't turn off power to things like the fridge/freezer/alarm system).

Not true unless a restraining order or non molestation order is in place. She could also probably get away with it if he was on bail.

It doesn’t appear any of those things are true (or at least she hasn’t mentioned it if they are).

Your ex has been clever by leaving his son in the property . He knows his son will drive you nuts and you will get so down about it you will sell up . He's probably told his son to do sweet FA about the house and to avoid you as much as possible so he can't be accused of harassing you .

He's probably bank rolling his son too . You have a dosser , spy and an agitator dumped on you .

He’s not legally a trespasser if he has the permission of an owner (his father) to be there. The police will therefore not get involved.

OK, go to a solicitor, apply for an occupation order, spend money to fight the order and remove your SS.

Or just divorce and separate finances so you and your ex and SS are no longer linked, which also removes SS ability to reside in your property.

I pay the mortage in my buy to let property. Do I have the right to impose a resident on the tenants without their consent because I own the property?

You have a legal agreement with your tenants which stipulates what you can or can't do. However if they had 40% ownership of the property and you had 60% you could move your adult child into the place.

If your ex has been excluded from the home he has no say in who lives there. If your stepson refuse to leave today call the police. That will bring the situation to a head.

Does his father live nearby?

If.not, I'd change the locks. It will be awkward for him to come and let ss back in.

If he's nearby, I'd take the stealth approach. Locks on internal doors. WiFi turned off. Power turned off and a lock put on the door that contains the mains switch.

I'd probably warn his father this was going to happen. Give him the push he needs.

I can't believe you've lived like this for.2 years.

But if the stepson says 'my dad owns this house' are the police actually going to do anything? It's true, and no crime has been committed.

Tbh the stepson must know his days there are numbered and is probably amazed the house hasn't been sold.

OP, do you actually own a buy to let? Give the tenants notice, move in there, sell other house? Speed things are going, might take till 2027!

Your ex can quite legally apply for an "order for sale" from the court, as it is held as TIC he is also within his rights to live in, sell or let his share (presumably 50%)

You need to see a solicitor, but from my pretty good property law knowledge, he is utilising his % share to accommodate his son, which would be seen as legitimate.

Except the OP hasn’t said he’s been excluded by the courts. If he has just willingly moved out (which is what the OP seems to be saying) even if there has been DV previously, that makes no difference to his legal rights. And yes, he and his new partner can move in whenever they want.

The OP is looking at this from a moral point of view and trying to twist law that doesn’t apply to try and get to the point she can legally remove her SS from the matrimonial home.

Sadly life and in particular the courts don’t work that way.

And if you change the locks, he can quite rightly get his black and decker out and drill them and come back in. (or if he doesn't own a cordless drill and a 10mm drill call a locksmith, break a window, etc...)

You cannot change the locks as he owns the property too and has right of entry.

If you change the locks you are required to give him a key.

His contribution to the mortgage is surely his sons rent?

How long as your stepson lived with you?

You cannot evict him whilst his father still owns the house with you.

You need to buy your ex out or sell.

But wither way see a solicitor

Is DSS the sort of person who's likely to play silly buggers and do things like turn the fridge off if you change the Wifi password OP?

OP you have received truly excellent advice on this thread already and you would do well to take heed of it! However if you do want a somewhat more expedite measure that falls just about on the right side of the law you could change the locks: When the son gets home and kicks up a fuss you call the police and tell them an unrelated adult male is trying to gain access to your property. When your SS reveals his identity you must show that you have separated for X years (whatever bills and paperwork you have) and insist he is removed. Chances are because he is an adult not in full time education or employment the police won't bother with contacting his father.

Stop wasting energy on arguing around rights and wrongs.
Get clear and proper legal advice.
Follow it.

Port the mortgage to another property if they will let you - but with your husband on it that's probably not going to happen.

Divorce your husband yourself. During divorce process ask for stepson's share of bills to be considered. If a lawyer tells you that is possible tell soon to be ex husband now.

Once divorced evict stepson.

Meanwhile stop his internet access. See if it's possible to have controls on power to limit heat and light when you are out.

Who is paying your stepson's share of community charge?

You need legal advice not advice from the moral police on here. I’m sure I read that even if the house is joint owned if one person moves out they can’t just let themself back in - but again I don’t have legal knowledge.

If you can pay the mortgage alone I would risk changing the locks and throwing his belongings out. It seems abusive/harassing your ex forcing you to live with someone against your wishes. Realistically if you were still together he wouldn’t just me moving people in against your will so why can he now that he’s left.

Lying to the police is a criminal offence so the OP would have to tell them the SS lives there with the permission of his father.

The SS will then be the one making the call.

The court will consider SS’s bills. They will also consider whether the OP owes her ex 2 years of mortgage payments for a house he was not benefiting from.

If the ex says the mortgage payments were rent and keep, the court is likely to find that to be reasonable.

The SS is living there with consent of a co-owner, he cannot be excluded from the property just like that. The police will not get involved as no law is being broken.

The OP has two options, buy out the Ex or sell up and move. Otherwise the Ex can occupy his half as he chooses.

Legally, someone can get an Occupation Order preventing a co-owner ‘just letting themselves in’. The OP doesn’t have one so her ex can come back any time.

Also, as he left his son there, he can use that to argue he never agreed to the OP having sole occupancy of the property anyway.

Edited to say: And people do move family in against their spouse’s wishes. It may lead to divorce but it’s perfectly legal. It just damages the marital relationship so sensible people don’t.

Day 1 of law school I was told those shouting about their human rights clearly haven’t a clue what rights they have and it’s all hot air. You are most likely jointly and severally liable for the mortgage meaning you are obligated to pay the full mortgage. If you think it’s a human rights issue go to a lawyer and give them a laugh 😂🤣

The way everyone is gunning for the OP as if they wouldn't be pissed off in this situation is baffling.

How is that a lie? They are separated and as long as the OP can prove it an adult unrelated male has nothing to do in her property