trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

How does op kick him out exactly..please give step by steps to op if its that easy.

but why should the step son live there?
if this was her own son people would be agreeing that she needs to chuck him out!

I agree - yes the ex could come back and stay in the house (although given the dv she could get legal advice there) but even then I get the impression it’s more the ex doesn’t want his son living with him and doesn’t care

he is a lodger so has the rights a lodger has and that is whst the OP needs to follow with proper advice

I never understood MS advice of not changing locks when the property belongs to both spouses, either in joint names or tenants in common. From the moment one spouse moves out and lives somewhere else, automatic residential privacy laws come into place. I live in Australia but I sincerely doubt there is much difference in the UK. The house still belongs to you both but privacy residential rights protect you.

You have 2 options: change the locks, evict your stepson and wait to see your H's reaction or pay for one hour family law solicitor advice.

Unfortunately your H can force the sale of your home unless you buy him out. But your first priority is evicting the leech in your house.

Not really helpful but you do have my sympathy. I think it must be really tough for you. Personally I’d also make it tough for him. I have a ye olde fuse box so I’d turn that off and take the master fuse out with me. Get a lock on the cupboard for water mains spigot and turn that off when you aren’t using it. See how he does when creature comforts are removed.

i have not read all of the thread but from what I have read there is some excellent advice on here that you are refusing to listen to. To summarise the main good points:

• change the WiFi password
• accept life is not fair. There will be a cost to removing the son. Losing your 2% mortgage seems a small price to pay for freedom to me.
• stop going on about your ‘human rights’. If you use this as justification in a legal environment, you will lose a lot of credibility. You will get much more if you behave reasonably. As a moral concept it may be a relevant term but it does not legally apply to your situation.
• seek legal advice ( CAB are not the best for this situation). You can get free legal advice from various charities that law students work with if you can’t afford proper legal advice.

In a nutshell, the 3 logical choices you have are— -put up and shut up/ complain incessantly. -buy out husband and incur higher mortgage rate -sell the house

My peace of mind is important to me. I’d be looking to do the one of the last 2 of those. Good luck.

Sorry, as a pp noted is your divorce looking at this other property he owns?

You are going to have to sort out the finances with your husband sooner or later . Delaying only leaves you in this awful situation because as previously posted your husband still has access to your home.
You probably need legal advice about the step son and how to get him out.
I would make it clear that whilst the step son is living there half the household bills are the responsibility of the step son or his father and that you are keeping a record which you will expect to recover when you get financial settlement from your husband if not before.

He isn’t. You are both legally required to pay all the mortgage. How you divide that up is between the two of you without a court order. If the court had ordered your occupancy by way of a Mesher order (which they won’t in your circumstances), you would be expected to pay all the mortgage and all bills.

You can change the locks but you legally have to give your ex a key and he can legally give that key to his son.

Your husband can force a sale to get himself off a mortgage he isn’t benefiting from. If you no longer provide a home for his son, I suspect that’s what he will do.

Edited to say: I’ve just read the rest of your posts. You don’t want advice on the legal position, you just want people to tell you your (completely incorrect) understanding of the law is right. You need a solicitor - maybe you will believe a paid professional when they tell you what multiple people on this thread have already said.

I would move this to the legal board.
However, can you put a lock on the cupboard that houses the electrics? You can then isolate the kitchen (or have those appliances hard wired like your smoke detectors)
Change passwords for WiFi.
It's a shitty situation and I don't think you should have any lodger forced upon you.

On what basis?

A mortgage is a loan agreement secured against a property, repaying the debt isn't dependent on living in the property!

How does op kick him out exactly..please give step by steps to op if its that easy.

Open door
Throw shit out
Change locks.

Do you think there’s going to be a big courtroom drama with a judge deciding she has to house and financially support an unrelated male? Do you think the police will inform her she has to let him back in because his dad owns half and she has to financially support him?

There are thousands and thousands of people who are separated and have a joint property. Nominating a third party to live in the ex marital home is not a thing. It’s never been a thing and it never will be a thing.

If it was I’d put two lodgers in my ex marital home wouldn't I. And my ex would be forced to live with them and be forced to financially support them. It’s ridiculous.

My ex threatened this and legal advice was he could. Legal and moral are two very different things.

I didn't want to live with my DH and his GF (other woman) so agreed to sell and start again.

Difficult to have sell our recently renovated forever home, bought for the land around it but so worth it for peace of mind and my independance.

Most mortgage companies will let you port the mortgage

He doesn't need to take her to court over the locks, he can just have them changed himself surely

@DionneEz instead of selling your home and losing the 2% mortgage rate,could you do a transfer of equity transferring the property from joint to sole names ? That looks after the title ownership. You would have to seek consent from your current lender to do this as they would need to do affordability checks on you but as long as you can pay the mortgage on your own (which you say you can) then you should be fine.
Is it amicable with your ex ? Would he do this ?

Can you port your mortgage to a new property?

No but it’s ’joint and several’ which means both signatories are legally liable for the whole amount.

Family courts tend to take the view that the person living there and getting the benefit of the property should pay the total amount (see Mesher order). This doesn’t affect who the mortgage company can go after for payment unless there is a re-mortgage as the family court can’t bind someone (the mortgage company) who is not a party to proceedings but it gives the ex a route to legally stop paying.

In this case, the ex would be on shaky ground to not pay as he is still getting use from his share of the house (to house his son) but if the OP kicks the son out, that is no longer the case.

You can try to evict him-- say goodbye to 50% of your mortgage being taken care of, though.

This completely depends on whether there is a court order in place. Most people with an ex marital home do have a court order in place that says who can live there (if not a complete transfer of the property).

The OP wants all the benefits of a shared property (not having to pay out her ex’s share of the equity, only paying half the mortgage) but is unhappy with the drawbacks to that position.

Is this morally wrong? Maybe. But lying to her about the legal position won’t help.

www.birkettandcosolicitors.co.uk/can-i-still-get-a-divorce-if-my-spouse-doesnt-want-to/

Under the new rules I don't think it matters that your ex hasn't responded to the divorce as long as you do your paperwork correctly?

OP, I'm afraid the description of the behaviour of the SS does not actually constitute breach of your human rights to quiet enjoyment. He sounds super annoying but his behaviour (staying in room, not cleaning, ubereats) isn't actually going to be considered a threat to you. You dont like it, it's not very nice but it's not actually infringing on your human rights as it were. He's just a terrible housemate. That's not a crime.

You can change the locks of course, and this would be an eviction and you'd end up in a massive dispute no doubt with your ex. Is this worth it for you ?

Personally, I'd go down the quiet sabotage route whilst trying to get the house sold and the mortgage ported. So as PP suggested, change the wifi password or remove the router when you leave the house. Make loud noise, clean the house at 6am, do stuff that is annoying but not illegal or reflects that you are paying the bills. Make it unpleasant for him to be there and then he leaves of his own volition. But most importantly sell the bloody house and be done with this link to your ex

Why are you asking for advice but refusing to listen to what you are being told?

Yes, you have rights as a part owner, no one is saying you don't - but you keep ignoring the bit you don't like...your husband (because you are not divorced he is legally still your husband) ALSO has rights to the home. He is still on the mortgage and he has not missed any of his payments - therefore he still gets to make decisions regarding the property, you cannot solely decide anything.

Now it's obvious from your previous posts that you're going to try and argue the toss about this - but that's the law that you're asking about.

Unless his son has actively done anything wrong, that he can be legally charged with, you don't have cause to have him removed because he was living there prior...you agreed that and you agreed to let him stay after his father left - unfortunately that means you can't just change your mind and make him homeless, he is not your tenant, he is his fathers guest and as he part owns the house he has a right to use that portion as he sees fit. That how the law sees it. It's not an opinion, you cannot expect him to pay for something but not have any rights over it, that would be madness!

You said you told him locks will be changed, what was his response?

It’s not marital law point, the point is the property is owned in part as tenants in common by him, you are using that part,he is entitled to be paid rent in relation to it.

You are understandingly angry but banging on about human rights is just silly and completely irrelevant. If you really want to understand then look up what they are.

In relation to this issue it is complicated and the son may have accrued rights but I’d be minded to wait till he goes out and change the locks and then let him argue about it later. Absent a court order the part owner of the property is entitled to access, so your ex may just let him back in and you start all over again, but might work I suppose. Ultimately you need to sort out the ownership position, I get it sucks to lose your mortgage rate but thems the breaks, you can’t expect to split up and it have no impact on your financial position. Also you’d be mad to allow the divorce to go through without sorting this out via a financial order as you’ll be stuck in this situation for far longer.

Is SS depressed? Would appealing to your ex that it's not good for his son to live in a room 24/7 work (or SS mum or sibling(s)) so they help SS move on with his life?

Could you go on a round the world trip or a secondment abroad for a year or two to use up the time until 2027 when it's financially easier to buy your ex out? Would help you move on with your life and give you new experiences and perspective