trying to evict adult stepchild

[DionneEz]

This is my dilemma. The property is a marital home with my husband from whom I am now separated.

Before the separation, his adult son (21) was living with us. My husband has now left the property but insists that his adult son remain with me. This has been nearly 2 years.

At first I was accommodating, as my husband still pays half the mortgage, I pay all of the bills.

The stepson living here was not an issue at first, but now I can no longer cope as he basically stays indoors on his phone all day. The only time he comes out of his room is to collect his Ubereats.

I asked him about getting a job and contributing something financially towards the bills and I was given a story about how he was freelancing from home...and that his pay was intermittent.
However, I see the receipts for his Ubereats orders and they amount to about £20 daily, which is about £500 a month. When he does leave the house, he takes a £7 cab to the station when he can get the bus, which costs £2 or even walk as it is only 10 mins away...so clearly he has funds to splurge but he doesn't feel he has to contribute to the running of the house since his father owns half.

So the scenario is that I have a nearly 22-year-old man 24/7 in my house who refuses to lift a finger to do anything in terms of chores and doesn't contribute financially. I recently had to stop him using my toothpaste and bath soap because I was like you can buy your own surely.
I do go into the office 3 times a week and have errands and stuff to run on weekends but will come back to clean my house as this guy does absolutely nothing. When I was on hols for 3 weeks, he didn't even take the bins out. Yet his father insists that as he owns the house as well., he has every right to dictate who lives there. Is this true?

Anyway, I have given stepson notice even though he is not a tenant. The notice has now passed but he is still here and has no intention of leaving. I know the next step is to change the locks when he leaves which is rare but can his father come and let him in again and will I be breaking any laws if I lock the father out as well? Father doesn't live there and does not pay any bills..just half the mortgage but as the resident homeowner shouldn't my rights surpass his?

Oh, that would be wonderful! Get a guy in as a lodger and the "guys" can share a room. It's worth trying.

Fucking hell, op. Change the locks and bag his stuff up when he eventually goes out. Make sure you have a key cut for your ex. You are not preventing ex from entering the property. Not your fault the barrel broke or you lost all your keys.

You can cover the whole mortgage payment so no bother there. Ss will go to someone else's with all his shit. Not your problem, he is an adult and nothing to do with you. He has no right to the house (only on his dad's death, I'd imagine, along with his siblings). You could always argue this is financial abuse or whatever- subsidising an adult who was living off you and taking from you. Get him out. If the shit hits the fan, maybe he stole from you??

Take control. The only thing that will happen is some grief from ex that he has to deal with layabout son, and he might stop paying. Whatever.

There is nothing your ex can really do that wouldn’t require years and years of waiting for a court date. The courts would instruct you to sell and divide the proceeds anyway. It wouldn’t come to that, as you can buy him out in the meantime.

Relationship break ups are often expensive and involve loss. The obvious solution is to sell the house, lots of people end up doing that. Sure, you don't want to, but that's how it goes when you break up with someone.

I would get advice from a solicitor. The SS needs to go.

Indeed, what's the likelihood of him willing to sell if he knows he will be lumbered with a lazy adult son in the process.

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Have you tried packing his gear up and putting a letter stating you will no longer house him with it. He can then go to the council/dad. Print out some homeless and what to do literature.
His dad could just get a locksmith and let him back in again though. For whatever reason I suppose.
I can't say I have ever heard of leaving a child/ young person behind after a split. Legal advice here.
You say the lad has ignored your notice. Either he is too immature to realise he has to go or someone has told him to stay put. Get boxes and start packing him up.
Maybe the lad gets Universal Credit or similar. Just as well he hasn't paid. That would indicate some sort of agreed contract. Is he squatting in your house? Is that the situation do you think @DionneEz

Get proper legal advice. Separately, talk to the son about the advantages of being made homeless for getting council housing. He would be low priority, but friending on where you live, he might be in luck.

Oh and speak to the mortgage provider about transferring the whole mortgage to you if you bought him out. Might be easier than you think.

Why are you not selling and porting your mortgage over? You won’t loose your 2% rate. We are doing the same thing atm

Occupational rent is a thing but it's largely ignored in divorce so don't worry about that.

You need to take control of situation and instruct a solicitor. Get the divorce sorted and buy him out but beware just because you own as tenants in common doesn't mean that's how the house will be split. Divorce can override this and the courts consider the matrimonial causes act.

Not sure on the son but id be changing the password for the WiFi. If he's not paying he doesn't get to use it.

He absolutely does have to pay half the mortgage. The mortgage is joint and he is equally liable and therefore must continue to pay half of it.

He doesn't have to, but if it doesn't he could have a mark on his credit and if the house were to be repossessed etc he'd lose part of his equity. But those saying he legally has to pay it are incorrect, no one legally has to pay their mortgage.

I'm no expert but if you can cover the mortgage should he decide to default, then do so. The bank doesn't care who pays it as long as it is paid. Speak to your mortgage provider and explain the situation but that you will cover the shortfall. Then kick the SS out. Change the locks. If your ex makes a fuss, tell him to stop paying his 50% and that you will buy him out. That may make a while to sort out, so who knows it might be 2027 by then!

You are hilarious. You think your human rights are being breached because you refuse to sell one of the other properties you own if it's more money what you need to buy out your ex husband or simply sell the current property?

If you get a higher interest rate, you would do what everyone else who has to move or who are buying a new property now does, and buy something smaller than you would have when the interest rates were lower. Guess what? Lots of people have to do that.

Your situation is your choosing. Some people have to live with awful housemates who are far worse than your DSS because they literally cannot afford anything else. You're in a very privileged position financially and you're choosing to live like you are.

Terminate your WiFi services for a couple of months and cut any tv which is not WiFi linked. This will shift him along. A digital detox is a small price to pay. Go into work 5 days a week so you don’t need it to WFH.

Everyone here is saying the same thing over and over. So I will too. LOL
OP, I note you say that after a DV incident your DH (as he actually is not an EX) 'chose not to come back'.
So, did you want him to come back? Is this what it's about?
You have said he hasn't persued getting a divorce. Why would he do this? What reason would you not be the one divorcing him, if he is the one committing the DV?
Why have you not answered the question about switching off the WiFi ? He's a young bloke obsessed with online stuff so it's a surefire way of getting him out. You can put it on periodically when you need it. So - WHY?

But she won't be porting the joint mortgage, she'll be taking out a new mortgage in her sole name.

Actually something similar did happen to a uni friend of mine. Her mum was in similar position to you and had an adult SD in property post split. I don't know the exact details but the mum definitely did change the locks and when SD returned she called police with Dad's backing. Police refused to assist as SD was not the homeowner nor tenant and technically had no legal right to access property.

Think they went to civil court. Not sure how it was resolved though.

If it's free legal advice you want @DionneEz check your home insurance and see if it involves a 24 hour legal helpline. Most do, and mine was a life saver.

You’re clearly quite thick and entitled. You are not the sole homeowner. Your soon to be x is a joint homeowner as 1- he legally owns 40% and 2 continues to pay the mortgage. Until that changes by either 1- you buy him out and end the marriage on all legal terms (financial order +decree nisi) or 2- you sell up divide the equity and get yourself somewhere appropriate and solely in your name.

I haven't RTFT so someone else may have suggested it, but have you looked into porting your mortgage if you moved house? I did this which meant we benefitted from the old lower rate for a few more years in a new house (and borrowed more). Worth a chat with your provider if you haven't already.

If you are on a mortgage you a responsible to pay it whether you live there or not.

Cut the internet off
he’ll be gone rapidly