Beautiful child, how to respond

[Mlovelybabies]

This obviously sounds like a not-stealth boast, but how do I respond to comments about DD’s appearance? She is 2 and DS is 6. They’re both adorable but DD is especially striking, people cross the street just to comment on her beauty. (She looked like a potato when she was tiny, with jaundice and frequent eye infections! People would peer into the pram, shudder and couldn’t even bring themselves to say she was cute). I know that looks can change and beautiful babies might not be beautiful adults but I worry about the effect on her esteem, and on DS’s esteem. She’s a bit shy and just looks down when they comment on her looks. And I know DS feels jealous of the extra attention she gets even though he’s not particularly hung up on appearance.

my response currently is to say, “yes, they’re both very sweet/lovely/wonderful/etc” and not give it any more time. Does that seem appropriate?

Like with another poster, my gorgeous, blonde, blue-eyed DC did get lots of attention and compliments and looks in Italy, Spain, The South of France, Portugal, Egypt, and Malta (when we went to these places when they were small/under 10,) especially as they have gorgeous curls. Ditto New York. One lady serving us in a coffee shop said 'your children are gawjuss lady!' I think when your children don't look like most of the people in the area you're in, they do stand out, and people do look, and comment/compliment them.

But no way did people used to cross the street to compliment them, and rave about them in the UK! 😆 Got the odd comment from people, but no-one 'raved' about them!

Also, I have to say I really didn't mind people saying they were gorgeous children. Why would I?! 😆 As if I am going to say 'yeah but they are soooooo much more than their looks!' Just take the compliment for what it is FFS! 😂

My kids are quite cute, especially the little one. People sometimes look at them and go "awww". Then the little one thumps or bites the older one, and all hell breaks loose, and I can feel people looking at us thinking "Thank god, not my monkeys" as I try to stop the child-on-child violence. They can also screech for Britain, if we'd lived through the war I would have volunteered them as human air raid sirens.

I vaccilate between being (like most parents) in awe of what I've created, apprehensive of what I've unleashed on the world and quite frankly fed up.

Exact website for what

I have had two friends, of average looks themselves, with astonishingly beautiful children. Breathtaking. And people could not help but stare and comment.

The first was a girl at the cherub phase - huge blue eyes, long dark lashes, rosebud lips and rosy cheeks. But she went super shy when people tried engage or comment on her beauty. She is now a beautiful young woman - but the angelic cherub phase was breathtaking. It was not too much of an issue as in the cherub phase, her younger siblings had not yet been born. And I think otherwise it would have been very difficult for the siblings.

The second case, different friend, were twins - boy and girl - but as the attention was directed to both, that wasn't an issue.

i think some posters are scornful, assuming either the OP is stealth posting or deluded, or have not themselves seen draw dropping beauty that stops you in your tracks

Dress her ugly.
Do her hair badly too.

Dress DS more nicely

even it out.

Used to work with someone who thought he was gorgeous. One day he was saying how people were always staring at him and how embarrassing it was to be so good looking. The boss overhesrd and said people were always staring at the elephant man as well.

We never heard any more about his looks.

I don't think this baby is like my colleague or the elephant man to be clear, just remembered that day and how funny.it was.

But it doesn’t necessarily last! DS (now 13) returned to where we used to live on a quick visit a year ago and caught up with some old friends he hadn’t seen since he was seven. Obviously everyone had changed a lot in that many years, but I didn’t even recognise one child who had been a particularly pretty little girl. She’s 13, a lovely kid, and may of course blossom again into adult beauty, but she’s currently gawky, plain and unrecognisable. I suspect it’s been a difficult transition, as I know her mother was very proud of her daughter’s good looks, and I can’t imagine that didn’t leach through.

My mother always put a white satin bow in my sister's hair when we were little. I never had one and was jealous and couldn't understand why I never got one. I was an adult when we talked about it one day. I told her how jealous I'd been and she was surprised and said surely I knew that everyone admired my golden curls and sister had straight mousey hair so she wanted to make it up to her.

We can't always see things from someone else's point if view but I suppose expecting a 2 year old to get it is expecting a lot.

Thank You

Laura's daughter?

What a crock of shit. I just can't imagine someone spotting a toddler from the other side of the street and thinking, damn that child is so beautiful I must go and tell them right now. It just wouldn't happen and would be massively inappropriate even if it did. I feel this same post crops up every few months, almost identical each time. Weird.

i think some posters are scornful, assuming either the OP is stealth posting or deluded, or have not themselves seen draw dropping beauty that stops you in your tracks

The OP has posted completely implausible scenarios centred around a toddler's 'breathtaking beauty.' People crossing the road to shower compliments on a child's beauty is batshit. You're now banging on about 'draw (jaw, I assume) dropping beauty.'

We're talking about cute toddlers. All toddlers are gorgeous. Mine were beautiful and still are. No chance would I start bleating on about their 'rosebud lips' and 'incredible eyes.' I think the 'ethereal/jaw-dropping/breathtaking' stuff is a bit odd tbh.

That's a really sweet story about your mum.

Totally agree! (And the angelic cherub phase is quite fleeting in the scheme of things)

My comment was more to do with posters on this thread not themselves having seen draw dropping beauty. Who knows, OP may suffer from Samantha Brick syndrome (by proxy) - but extraordinary beauty can (and does) draw pronounced attention

If people remark on it in front of the DCs, respond by saying in your family intelligence and kindness are valued more than beauty.

Sends the right message to sexists who dwell on girls’ looks, the right message to your DD about what’s important and the right message to your DS that he shouldn’t feel less valued than his sister.

I find it hard to believe ‘people cross the street just to comment on her beauty.’

I have very good eyesight, but I don’t think I would see a 2 year old well enough across the street. Plus, it would indeed be strange to cross the street to comment on beauty..

I kind of think this is just the culture of the uk to not interact with strangers. When my sister visited from the USA, she said how no one really commented on my niece whereas in the usa she would get comments often. Also no one really striked a conversation eg in a queue however that is common there

There ya go OP. Roberta solved your issue: reply with "Thank you very much for the compliment. Speaking of compliments, you must have 20/20 vision noticing from across the road."

People are seriously crossing the street to tell you how beautiful your child is?

Laura had a sister called Mary. Laura describes Mary in the books as very beautiful with golden curls and lovely blue eyes, but Mary contracts a disease and goes blind, and never marries. So maybe it was her and the saying is a reference to that.

I know everyone thinks their children are gorgeous, but I've got bad news for all of you, especially OP. My nieces are the most beautiful children in the world. Everyone else's are CLEARLY second. 😜 It's not even a debate.

My eldest looked eerily like John Candy when he was two - less so now he's an adult. My youngest is your classic blonde hair, enormous blue eyes cherub. They both got equal amounts of attention - some people just love cooing over little 'uns :-) What I liked best though, was people trying to figure out what one of my other boy's tracheostomy was - my favourite was when someone commented how handy it was to have a flash light to hand :-)

I remember when ds was a baby I genuinely thought that people would think, yes their own baby was gorgeous of course but be astounded at how gorgeous ds was. Then at a party at a neighbour's house I heard someone say of ds "Oh my goodness, that baby looks EXACTLY like Winston Churchill". And he did. DD attracted various compliments when she was tiny, as toddlers do, and I just smiled and said thank you or that's kind. Don't overthink it OP.