Beavers - have we just been unlucky, or is this standard?

[KatiMaus]

Hi all - looking for some advice from those that understand this stuff better than me!

DS (6) started at Beavers in January and initially was quite excited at the prospect, but quickly lost interest. I couldn't get to the bottom of why, all he said was that the other kids were 'messing about'.

Last night, I went along as a parent volunteer (they have a rota for this, so it was the first time I'd experienced it). It was absolutely wild. Total lack of control of the kids, instructions not being followed, leader was visibly exasperated and I noticed DS and another boy wincing on a few occasions at the noise.

Games were ruined by kids not following the rules and there was a lot of rough behaviour (pushing each other).

DS is a VERY sensitive boy and is now saying that he doesn't want to go back.

Should I encourage him to persevere with it? Is it likely to get better once they reach Cubs age and calm down a bit? I love the idea of Beavers/scouts etc and the opportunities it will ultimately bring for him, but after what I saw last night, I can't say I blame him for wanting to give it up!

Wise folks of MN - is it always pretty chaotic, or have we got unlucky with this particular group?

I have his name on a waiting list for a group closer to home, too, but have been told that this could take another year or so until he is at the top of the list. Don't know whether to try another group, or accept that this type of thing is not right for DS. 🙁

Any advice gratefully received - thanks!

I run a scout group and it’s often chaos - the problem is not enough helpers and lack of support from families who treat it as childcare and don’t really value badge work or any of the activities we do etc… those parents that do come on occasion (after pleading emails) just tend to watch and say nothing about the behaviour of their kids or others I find. In general I find parents just drop their kids off from the car - don’t even bother to say hello to me and that’s it. It feels very rude actually so it’s not a surprise that the kids treat us with disdain and don’t see us as in authority. It’s not all kids of course - we have some lovely young people but I have found over the years behaviour is worse and worse and I think it is that parents these days don’t back up the leaders just as many don’t back up teachers.

When a leader doesn’t have the backing of the parents at home it is very hard to get kids to behave. Beavers/scout leaders are not ‘staff’ - we are not paid anything (I did it so the section didn’t shut down as my older ones loved scouts and I didn’t want my younger kids to miss out) and the behaviour training is pretty much on the job. I have led in all the sections and some of the kids we have to take are quite horrible actually. Rude and disrespectful in ways you’d be surprised at…. I know some have SENs but it doesn’t stop them being rude and we have to accommodate them. It limits what we can do as I can’t trust some of the kids not to run off and do something dangerous and then Id get the blame for insufficient safeguarding. We are not allowed to chuck kids out of cubs/scouts and unlike school we can’t give them detentions or send them out as they have to be supervised at all times! I don’t know why a lot of them are there to be honest and it’s a shame because the kids that do want to come and learn/achieve often just can’t be heard over the din and they are the ones we do it for!
If you have an unruly pack I wouldn’t send your child there at moment or if you do I would go with him and see if you can help the leader a bit - honestly I would love it if a parent came to help me and had ideas on behaviour. Me and the assistant leader have 22 kids on a Friday night to look after and teach stuff to and I defy anyone to properly control that lot. The previous leader was very military, shouted all the time and a lot of kids left because of it - but I’m thinking I need to head that way or shut the section down.

My kid left for the same reason. DC found it completely overwhelming and was shocked by some of the other kid’s behaviours. Still mentions it incredulously to this day!

I was very surprised when they contacted me to see if DC would like to return. DC didn’t!

Shame really as it would have been a nice way to get to know local kids. Instead it made DC swerve them.

Ours is really good but all depends on the leader and their authority over the kids. I wouldn't send him back if he's not enjoying it

Well that was interesting week for club! Pancake activity 😁. I sat in on a few rainbow sessions this last month. Interesting contrast, maybe I am biased but I do like the spirited energy!