If you're middle-aged (late 40s/early 50s), where are you in life?

[BB49]

Are you content with how life has been for you so far? Any regrets? Do you have any major plans for the next few years?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My DC are secondary school aged so I still feel like I'm pouring all my energies into them and the family and the dogs and daily chores. I regret not studying medicine and becoming a doctor, not doing a gap year after school, and not getting the chance to live abroad, but never say never to the latter. I am fortunate though for a lot of things.

I’d say I’m the most content I’ve been in years.
I’m enjoying the teens being less dependant on me and the freedom I currently have to focus on myself again. Due to dh working away very regularly, lots of childcare came down to me. Now he’s travelling less and teens can be left alone without issues, I can do my hobbies, we can go out more together and only now do I realise how much I value and enjoy this.
I’m looking forward to the next few years.

I also can reflect back on choices I’ve made in the past that have contributed to the life I currently live. Things are ‘coming together’ in my mind, which helps to not judge myself but understand how things have worked out.

That is not to say my life now is easy and perfect (far from) but I guess my confidence levels are high so those issues don’t wear me down.

I'm a failure in life at 53. I'm so ashamed. No career. No skills. Financially desperate as my stbxh squandered all our money. He's been violent too.

4 dcs. One who is nearly 20. He left school at 16 and has done nothing since. Sleeps all day.

My other dcs seems ok.

I’ve been divorced for 10 years now, bought a flat in London 3 years ago & my cat & I are living there very happily. I enjoy my job (mostly), I have a good social life & I go to the gym / yoga 3 or 4 times a week.

I’m exactly where I want to be.

I feel restless. Trapped by the life I’ve made. Now I’m worrying about retirement and at what age I’m actually going to get my government pension.

I have some career and personal regrets. But I am reasonably financially secure, reasonably healthy and enjoying the freedom of having adult DC. I have had a lot of adventure and travel and have lived abroad, which am grateful for.
I would like more friends and community as only sibling is in another country and friends have moved away.

I'm 49. Fairly content 3 teens all in secondary eldest has additional needs which can take its toll and main reason I'm still working part-time. Have good friends, good life, good dh, love my home and area so yes in the main happy. Would love to travel more did a lot when younger so hoping once kids less dependent will do more of that

54
Married 25 years in a couple of months
2 DC, 13 and 16
Mortgage paid off
Working 0.85 FTE
Probably as senior as I'll ever be
Hoping to retire in 10-12 years
DM alive, but health not amazing
(DDad died 30 years ago)
Bit overweight, but always have been with a handful of exceptions, but weight training has made me strong.
Small, but perfectly formed, circle of friends

I'm late 40s. Two teenage dc and separated from my exDH of 20 years a year ago. I wouldn't say I'm currently content as life feels like it's in flux - I used to think I would be married to my DH for life, we had a plan for the next few years, housing, retirement etc - and now that's all changed, and it feels a though the rig has been pulled out beneath my feet. And I need to change my job too. So the future feels very uncertain! No regrets really as I learned and grew such a lot from my marriage and had my 2 amazing dc, but I can't deny I wish things were easier now. Hopefully onwards and upwards!

I feel pretty dreadful at the moment but that is because peri is kicking my arse.

Objectively things are ok. I have a gorgeous daughter, still in primary. No other kids though (infertility rather than choice). Married to a good man. In a career that a lot of people are impressed by (but can be dull day to day). Have a nice house but it is a total money pit. But mostly feel crap because of hormones.

I’m very content. I was a single teen mum and never imagined I’d be where I am in life today. Married to DH for 24 years and enjoying early retirement. We travel frequently but I’m generally just pottering about, cooking, reading and making art. The chores soon dry up when the kids are gone OP.
I sometimes feel a little bored but read something recently about having a finite number of hours. I worked out if I’m lucky I have about 300,000 left so if I feel any negativity I remind myself that this is one of my hours and I should be grateful and enjoy it!

Regrets? I have a few….
Life has thoroughly kicked my arse the last couple of years but I’m still here, and I’m making plans.
Teen Kids are ( veeeryyy sllooowly) becoming more mature and I’m going to a) kick my career up a notch and start making some real money and b) move abroad for a while in the medium to long term.
My pension is crap and I’ll probably always work in some capacity but I’m ok with that. Have a bit of a buffer so I am looking forward to trying some new stuff, after years of lone parenting and just treading water to pay the bills.
Mainly I’m now fully aware of what a tough bitch I really am and wow betide anyone who gets in my way!!

I’m mid/late 40s
2 x adult DC, one who has just moved home as wants to save to travel.
Divorced 10 years ago, can honestly say that I’ve only in the past couple of years I have fully got over my divorce, like the PP around now was when we would have reaped the rewards of a long marriage and adult children and that’s been quite sad to realise and work through BUT I am financially independent, do not own a house but have a stable and fulfilling career which allows me to rent a lovely home in a lovely area, I have a relationship of 5 years and we are making plans for our retirement, I am addressing extra weight gain and peri by using Mounjaro and moving my body more, this has increased my confidence ten fold.
I am allowing myself to rest after 25 years of parenting and racing around, I can be selfish with my time and my plans, I am comfortable to make plans on my own and not wait for others to join me.
I wish I hadn’t have spent so much time worrying about what others think of me, I also had a lot of shame about being a divorcee which was ridiculous as I was not at fault.
I am planning on travelling solo later this year and continuing to become financially free, I’ll never be completely comfortable but being aware of my ability to support myself and my children completely alone is very empowering 💪🏻

I am in a weird limbo where my work contemporaries mostly have teenage kids but I had my son late so he is only 8. This means I hang out a lot with school parents who are up to a decade younger than me, but I forget they are less established in their careers. I wish I’d met my husband a decade earlier but I’m so glad I waited for him to come along!

Happiest I've been in years because I am more than half way through retraining for the job I always wanted, but due to illness/babies/bereavement, let slip through my fingers at the time. Hit my mid-forties and finally got cracking.

Late 40s.
Had my dcs late, so they are still in primary school. I'm a sahm and the dcs and domestic stuff take up most of my energy and time. I have on-going renovation, decoration, financial admin and health appointments to fill the school hours, but I'm getting back into fitness and hobbies too, which was neglected until all the dcs were in school. No plans to return to work.

Married for 15 years, very happy although we don't have much couple time without the kids.

Financially very secure. DH is a high earner and I've made enough money through investing to be financially independent. I've never had a career and there's a lack of status from that, but I like having my free time and doing my own thing.

In the future I'd like to enjoy more interesting holidays and trips out with my dcs as they get older, and developing some other interests of my own. I'd like to persuade DH to retire early, so we can hang out together.

First of all I'm 56 and do not describe myself as middle aged. That's alway ten years older than me.

Life is good. I'm financially the best I've ever been. I work full time and am very content. I intend to work for as long as I can - maybe another 12 years?

It's interesting reading everyone's perspectives and situations. @SugarPlumpFairyCakes I am sorry you feel that way but I am positive you are not a failure at all, it is just your brain telling you you are. I am glad you have left your abusive situation, and really hope things improve for you.

I wanted to try to edit my OP to add some more but can't seem to!

I'm 51. Divorced from emotionally abusive ex, now married to my lovely dh.

Dds 20 and 16. One at uni (ND), one doing A levels (NT). Both struggle a lot with their dickhead dad and the fallout from that is hard work, I worry for them a lot but atm they're not ready to pull the plug on him so all I can do is pick up the pieces each time.

Finances are a perpetual worry. We both work FT, ex doesn't contribute, self employed so I can't afford time off and worry a lot about pension etc later.

Parents still alive but 2.5 hours away and DF is v frail. Wish I could be there a lot more as DM is finding it really tough.

Overweight and have been for years despite all sorts of efforts.

Happy in my marriage in general but the money worries and relentless grind are dragging me down. Very pissed off about how exh decimated my finances and security.

Feeling very hormonal and crap in general despite HRT and have had several big kicks from life in the past year in particular which have contributed to the current mindset.

Finding it hard to be positive atm but v much hoping Spring will help when it arrives!

I’m 45. I have a lovely DH, great kids (one still at primary but somewhere where lots of mums are older) and a good job, financially secure (with or without DH). Overweight but on the jabs to sort that (hopefully!) overall I am incredibly lucky.

Mid 40s, one teen, lovely DH. Had hoped for more children but have made my peace with that.

Retraining for a new career and will then be ploughing as much money as possible in to my non existent pension & working until I physically can't anymore. Am always worrying about finances. Lovely house but still a fair amount of mortgage to pay.

Physically in the best shape of my life, not many friends, but found out I am autistic a few years ago & slowly learning & adapting to who the real me is under the mask.

@Spicylatte me too...not the age I thought i would be "starting again"...I imagine if I ever regain any energy it might seem exciting in some ways but right now it just looks like a mountain to climb instead of coasting to the finish line.

Im 49 and very happy and content. My eldest boy is 19 and has a good apprenticeship (shame about his choice of girlfriend though) and is about to get my boy 17 working with him in a few weeks!

DH is so hard working for our future. I love my job, but do wish i earned more!

Have a great year planned to celebrate turning 50.

I'd like a bigger, better house, but i still love my house.

Wish i had hobbies, friends and could drive, but you cant everything at once

I am about to turn 50. Life is pretty good. I have been single for many years and like it that way. After a lot of ups and downs at work I'm enjoying some of the upsides of seniority: respect, better pay, feeling like I can help others. I know myself better than I ever have before. I have a very full-on hobby which is extremely satisfying. My teen needs a lot of support at the moment, but I feel like I'm enjoying this stage of parenting. Have a good number of lovely friends.

On the downside, being the sole breadwinner is hard work and I'll never be as comfortable financially as I would be in a couple. I don't have the time or the inclination to really get fit, in an ideal world I'd be looking after my health better.

But I know how lucky I am!

Yes, I'm more content than I've been in years. Recently went back to work after 20 years at home, WFH so no commute or having to socialise in person. We had a pretty tough time when the dds were little and DSD was a teen. Traumatic event, dd1 diagnosed with Autism, toxic family interference.

Been through the mill a few times, but it finally feels like we've come through to the other side. Kids are grown, DSD recently married and had DGD, dd1 at 21 is in college and doing far better than we anticipated, dd2 is just about to finish her A-Levels. Me and DH are in such a good place, there was a time I didn't think we'd make it, but we managed to pull through.

Early 50s.

Happily married for 25+ years
Two children put through private school, now at Uni studying in their dream courses (and doing well). They are honestly wonderful young adults and I'm so proud of them.
Was part time for many years, now back full time, earning well and still progressing.
Mortgage paid off on a pretty decent 5 bed house in the SE
Pensions on track (both DH and I have DB schemes which became CA when we were fairly senior so no concerns)
Mostly seems pretty good and all on track.

However, DH and I have suffered bereavements in the last couple of years, and we now have to manage significant caring responsibilities at a point we would otherwise be fairly responsibility free. It's hard work, soul destroying and really, really sad just watching someone you love fading away and sinking into dementia in front of your eyes. Heartbreaking. It's honestly the hardest period of my life. Whatever I do, I can't be free of the constant sadness and worry that's endlessly swirling round my mind. The worst thing about it is that the only way out of this is to lose another parent which is just so heartbreaking.