If you're middle-aged (late 40s/early 50s), where are you in life?

[BB49]

Are you content with how life has been for you so far? Any regrets? Do you have any major plans for the next few years?

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. My DC are secondary school aged so I still feel like I'm pouring all my energies into them and the family and the dogs and daily chores. I regret not studying medicine and becoming a doctor, not doing a gap year after school, and not getting the chance to live abroad, but never say never to the latter. I am fortunate though for a lot of things.

Mid 50s, had a lovely life but then my DH died. Financially, I'm pretty secure, virtually retired and have options. The problem is I don't know which option to take. Currently live in a village and feel like I need to move, at the moment I have to drive to do anything, if I couldn't drive I'd be pretty stuck. Where do I move to? Local market town? Closer to family? Back to London for some city life? Seaside for fresh air? I just can't seem to make a decision.

Career is going well, 2 teenagers and on my second marriage.

Fit, healthy and amazing group of friends and compete at a sport I love.

It's the best it's ever been

I think the 2 things that have always helped me stay sane and enjoy life are my sport and amazing social group

I want to know how I get to where you are from where I am: 42, cash strapped and totally overworked/overwhelmed just to keep the mortgage paid, young children and very little sleep plus beginning of perimenopause making me feel miserable physically and emotionally (tendinitis in ankles and hips that won't heal). A lot of low grade fear will never be able to afford to retire yet being aware that my body is already absolutely screaming for a break.

You all sound so sorted and well prepared for the third chapter. I'm so not there.

Just about to bang my head against a brick wall

Mid 50's I feel very content, have a few side businesses and investments. All ticking over nicely financially.

2 children both living at home, 1 working full time, 1 still in education.

Not quite sure what to do next! Bit bored, not doing much. Am here for the children, so that's lovely place to be .

I am mid 30s and its so reassuring to read that maybe in about 10 years things will eventually change! Hopefully easier financially when kids are older, hopefully mortgage will be less dooming knowing we are half way through! Hopefully more time for husband and wife time, to travel…i like my own company and struggle when i have no time to potter around by myself so looking forward to it! Although right now really enjoying and taking each moment with dc and the stage we are right now

I’m almost 49. More or less happy with how things have panned out. Very happy relationship, we own a house together, job is OK. I do really wish I’d put more effort into some of my preferred creative activities when I was younger but it’s not the end of the world. I also wish we didn’t live 200 miles from our elderly parents. Other than that, life’s OK.

Mid 40s and doing OK. But don't have much in savings, despite being frugal and not having and loans/ new cars/ expensive holidays (public sector jobs).
Buying a house in 2006, then having 2 kids in nursery for a few years crippled us.
I worry that if the mortgage is actually paid off in 10 years (when dh is near retirement age), we won't have a buffer to pay for repairs. Especially if dc go to uni.

Take finance out and I'm pretty much content. I'm never going to the front woman in a grunge band, or own horses or not have to worry about money and I'm OK with that now.

49, very content. Made a career move nearly 3 years ago which was definitely the right decision. Have been able to support DS at University and Dd through A levels with minimal financial hard ship. Have a cracking DB pension and other savings- hoping to retire in 6 or 7 years and travel the world. Happy marriage, healthy parents. So much happier than I was in 2021. Still having regular periods so no menopausal symptoms yet.✌

Mid 40’s with a toddler who starts school in September. Fantastic DH who I’ve been with for 20 years. Both earn extremely high salaries so mortgage cleared years ago and will both be able to retire in the next few years. I don’t think I’d change anything.

I'm 48 and in a good place (I think!)

Both sons now at Uni, we're comfortable financially and I'm the fittest I've ever been. No sign of the menopause and I'm rarely ill although do have a lifelong health condition.

Work is a bit shit but you can't have everything 🤷‍♀️

Mid 40s. Just filed for divorce after catching my cheating lying bustard husband.
Life has thrown me a low ball for sure. Now I'm left bringing up two autisic children alone.

Mid 40s here. Married for the second time with 3 lovely children. They are all.in school and I had my.youngest at 40 so I've got plenty of parenting to go. Although I wish me and my husband had more time just the two of us, family life is really very good. We pour loads into it and really prioritise spending time with the children. I feel we are.beginning to see this really pay off in terms of the relationships we have with the children and their general wellbeing. I feel very lucky to have this after my first marriage ended. On the the difficult days (and we all have them.dont we!) I just remind myself that everything I am living now was the stuff of fantasy in those dark days.
Career wise I am very overqualified for what I do, but I am generally happy in a professional job and I made a deliberate decision to prioritise family over my career.
By good fortune I have ended off in a financially very comfortable position and we prioritise savings, family holidays and school fees. Life certainly isn't perfect, but I feel happy, content and very fortunate with my lot in life. We're both planning on retiring early and have some interesting ideas about what I will do. I'm hoping to volunteer more at my church and in the community.

I'm 41 and both children are 18 and 12 and it's bliss. 18 year old is idependent but still likes to go out as a family, so we're lucky and 12 year old just suddenly matured as soon as he started secondary school.

I've worked and lived abroad after taking a gap year, had many different jobs/careers, own our own home (grant ut we are looking to move area), work in education at the moment but retraining.

I dont regret anything. No time for regrets its a waste of time. Plan ahead and enjoy the present

What are you retraining to do @greatfrontage

On paper have a nice life, but feel I haven't achieved anything. No relationship, no children. Sometimes feel like I'm just waiting to die.

Mid 40s, single and no children but I feel content and mentally the happiest I've ever felt. I feel lonely at times but I'm generally happy with my life.

Aged 50 here. Just started a nursing degree and should graduate the same year as my son! Married for the second time to decent but dull man whose 10 years older than me and isn't in the best of health.
Lots of regrets but I'm trying to rectify that now by bettering myself career wise. Lost both parents in the last 5 years which has been absolutely devastating but on the other hand caring responsibilities wore me down.
I have a fair bit of time to myself and have my own horse so I get to be outside which I love.
Small circle of really good friends and one life long best friend whom I go on holiday with every year and we have a ball.
Almost mortgage free on a modest but nice home in a quiet area with easy links to motorway etc.
Yes there's lots I would do differently but then that's life isn't it and we've to remember we only have one and so we've to make the absolute best of it.

I’m in my 50s.
Positives: financially ok I’m going to reduce my hours slightly soon. We have no mortgage. My son is in his final year at university and generally seems happy. Been married 30 years this year generally happy together. I am in a job which on paper is interesting with a good pension. It’s flexible and I like my colleagues. Got some good friends and we get away together. I love to travel and go away several times a year.
negatives: the menopause has been hard I’m on HRT but still struggle at times with insomnia amongst other ithings. Right now things are very difficult my dm is seriously ill in hospital and my dd has had very poor mh and has returned home currently. Feel I’m definitely im experiencing the sandwich generation which is exhausting and draining coupled with keeping going in a full time challenging job. I find myself increasingly daydreaming of escaping to a remote Scottish island by myself for a bit. Just got to get through this tricky period.

For the last couple of years I have had a four day solo holiday to help with the running away to Scotland on my own feelings.

"Your circumstances are half chance, so don't berate yourself too much or congratulate yourself too much either"

Almost 50 and taking stock of things. .
Lots of positives - good career in a job that feels worthwhile, work part time so good to flex around childcare and get a bit of time for myself. DP is good earner so we're comfortable financially (mortgage paid off on large house).Dc still in primary school, love being a mum, grateful for that every day. Physically feel lucky to be healthy, though bit tired from peri. Small but good friendship circle.

Some negatives
Relationship with dp can be rocky, but don't want upheaval that separating would bring so end up settling in ways I wouldn't have ideally wanted to. Wouldn't be financially comfortable in my own which is a worry. One dc is ND and I worry about her future. One parent died and one is in a nursing home - feel this has overshadowed my whole adult life as both have had long drawn out illnesses. Really makes me dread old age and the carer burden. Probably haven't lived up to a career I might have had given excellent degree, PhD etc (doldrums last decade as I've traded promotion for work life balance given caring responsibilities).

Can't retire for a good while yet and just want to stay healthy enough to enjoy it properly (downside to having kids late).

Regrets? Not doing a ski season, not moving to a better country/ part of this country due to not wanting to leave parents. Not being fitter over the years. Hold out some hope for travel in retirement! But overall I'm OK with where I'm at. Try to remind myself happiness is a fleeting state, and meaning/ contentment is more important.

I'm 53. Oldest just started graduate job and youngest in second year at uni. Married. Fit and well. Lucky enough to be comfortable enough to be retiring in just under two years if I can stick it out, NHS. DH will go six months earlier. We have good pensions and significant savings.

The only thing I would do differently given the chance is choose a different career. Everything else I would repeat almost exactly.
The worst things that have happened to me, traumatic parental deaths for example, were completely out of my hand.

Feel very blessed.

🙋‍♀️

Turning 51 soon.

Negatives: I am raising DD on my own. Work has been turbulent and I am plodding (not fulfilling my potential). DM has dementia; and the menopause and my own mental health issues (stemming from childhood) keep rearing their head. I often feel different from other families and isolated, and sad that I might not meet a life partner.

On the plus side: DD is a lovely, happy, healthy girl and I am blessed to be with her. We live in a nice area with good schools, and my career (despite the turbulence) aligns with my values. I am taking better care of myself than ever before, financially planning, investing in my health and hobbies. I am skilled in managing my mental health; and I build as much fun stuff as I can into our schedule.

I won't give up. I take the positives where I can and guess I have to trust myself.

Thanks to everyone for sharing so openly.