2 year old walking the street by herself feel so sick

[Cantthinkofonenow]

I went to the shop with my 6 year old son and my nearly 3 year old daughter was home with her dad. When I was coming home from the shop round the corner I saw loads of people outside my house so I ran home wondering what had happened. My little girl had tried to follow me to the shop but I had gone another way, and got all the way to the end of the street and even crossed the road before a nice couple picked her up and she told them where she lived. I feel so sick and furious with her dad and like a terrible parent. I can’t believe he didn’t notice she had gone. I can’t stop thinking she might have gone with the wrong person. I feel terrible

I found two children doing a runner (separate occasions) and my friend who is a childminder had her two year old run off. My friends sister had her three year old bought back by someone a few streets away.
It happens, don’t make OP feel worse.
Edit to add my friend who’s SEN child had to be bought home by the police as he was lost for nearly an hour, he was eating some chips at the park with an older couple and they realised he wasn’t with anyone and called 999.

Did you make it clear to him that you weren't taking her?
Sounds like a miscommunication between the two of you.
Thankfully, no harm done, just a nasty shock.
Be kind to each other and don't let this become a big thing.

I did this when I was 2 (a few decades ago now)! The local butcher found me a good distance from home and took me to the police station. My elder brother had left the gate open and I’d decided I’d make my way to my Grandma’s house (I was going in the right direction). My Mum still shudders at the thought and says it was the most frightening experience of her life. The gate never got left open again that I know of.

Not so much a mis communication more like none at all!

We got a top lock on the door that flicks across as we also had an issue with my son letting himself out. Obviously your husband would have needed to have flipped it across once you’d gone. Don’t trust him in future though as he obviously isn’t watching her properly which is why she wants to come with you.

As a mother and grandmother, I feel for your anguish and I'm so relieved that all is well. There is no absolute safety so just be kind to yourself and learn from the experience. There but for the grace of God go many of us

He knew she was staying with him I said to her in front of him you can watch bluey until I’m back and I said to him I’m not taking her

In fairness, if he thought she was with you he wouldn’t be alarmed at her not being present
It really depends whether it was an out of character lapse and he’s scared, worried too
Change the door lock so she can’t skip out again

Its a scary and upsetting event, you change the lock and chat to your dp

You don’t need to feel guilty. Your partner does! Lesson learnt and no harm done thankfully. Every parent makes mistakes!
Fix that door and improve communication between you about who is responsible and when .

Yeah one of ours wandered off once while we were making dinner. Back turned for a second. Neighbours brought him back.l before we noticed he was gone. I guess I don't see any value in recrimination, we were all in the kitchen and none of us saw him slip off.

I do. I specifically changed the locks to thumb locks when pregnant so it would be easier to get out if there was a fire without fiddling with keys. We live rurally though so our doors don't open onto a street/road.

Just saw op update, she did tell him that the daughter wasn’t going to the shop with her

My Dd fell down half the flight of stairs when she was 2 because I left the stair gate open .Terrible guilt but after calling 911 all was fine. DD now 24, graduated with a first class degree and doing well. It happens.

If it’s helpful when I realised my 18 month year old could open the front door I found a baby safe latch on Amazon that just sticks under the handle on the inside so they can’t pull the handle down to let themselves out put you can still use a key to enter from the outside. Works like a dream and hard for even a 3 year old to work I think (based on how hard adults find it). It was called the Moonybaby 2 pack door lever safety lock. Might work on yours?

In that case, I'd be absolutely furious with him. Why is he saying that he thought you had taken her when you told him that you weren't?

Can you ask you LL to change the type of lock on the door? If not, fix a door alarm like the one the pp shared.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Because he doesn’t want to admit it’s his fault

Glad your DD is OK!

Our lock is the same so we installed a sash jammer lock at the top - very affordable and easy, but can't really be messed with by small people! Just install it so you have to flip it up rather than down, then you can never accidentally get locked out...

Bet £100 he was too busy glued to his phone to notice

A Chubb is great but if you couldn't find your key in an emergency say a fire, it wouldn't be great then.

In rented accommodation they are expected as far as is known to put a thumb lock on, especially where there is shared access etc.

If you said it to him it is his fault not yours. I was walking DD to ballet and 2 sisters of one of her ballet class had done just the same - becuase their Dad was too focused on his phone - he hadn’t even noticed

Hang on, so you were on your way BACK when you saw a commotion? How long were you gone? How long did he not notice she wasn’t in the house?

We had a second lock with a sort of mini wheel inside, high up on the door. Would always have it locked as we had steep stairs outside.

Is your husband's explanation plausible? Surely there is quite a palaver getting out of the house with a toddler, particularly in winter.

Hate to ask a mean question, but was he on his phone/gaming? If so he is completely neglecting his child while doing this. She could have had any sort of accident if he is completely distracted.

My mother once got a knock at the door and our next door neighbour handed a 2 year old me back and said I had been half way round the block when she found me, my mother had no idea I was even missing!

Everything was fine OP. Get a lock, alarm or whatever, give your DH a bollocking and try not to dwell on it.