2 year old walking the street by herself feel so sick

[Cantthinkofonenow]

I went to the shop with my 6 year old son and my nearly 3 year old daughter was home with her dad. When I was coming home from the shop round the corner I saw loads of people outside my house so I ran home wondering what had happened. My little girl had tried to follow me to the shop but I had gone another way, and got all the way to the end of the street and even crossed the road before a nice couple picked her up and she told them where she lived. I feel so sick and furious with her dad and like a terrible parent. I can’t believe he didn’t notice she had gone. I can’t stop thinking she might have gone with the wrong person. I feel terrible

Yeah, she only posted that a few minutes before my post and my page hadn’t refreshed and i hadn’t read it. So I made my comments without that information.

Even so some closed loop communication would be better. So when the OP said to him that she wasn’t taking him, did he respond? If not then it’s good to get in the habit with something so important of saying something like “what did I just say” and make him repeat it back.

Yes in an ideal world she wouldn’t need to but he’s either away with the fairies and doesn’t listen or he’s lying to her and he knew. I guess only OP knows which is more likely.

You seriously, seriously need to address this with your husband. Is he honestly gaslighting you over this?

Mistakes happen and if he’s apologetic and feels sick himself you’d like to think this is a tough lesson learned in a horrible way and mercifully no harm done, but if he’s denying involvement here WTF. What was he doing?!!

Yes I agree with this. One of worst moments of my life was in Mahon marketnin Minorca on holiday. I had baby DH toddler but then she wanted to come with me and he let go of her for her to walk the few paces to me assuming I heard and had her. I didn’t even realise then we both realised neither of us had her. In utter sick making blind panic. Shouted loudly I had lost my child and the brilliant ladies of Mahon all gathered round shouting to each other helping us find her. About two minutes later a policeman handed her to me! So absolute solidarity to you OP it’s the most terrible feeling.

So agree always do proper overtly phrased handover ‘So you have X and I have Y’ to prevent it ever happening again. Bolts on door. Gin and tonic large😀

Something similar happened to us when DD was about 2. We had no idea she could open the door. My Dad had just popped in to visit, and DH was washing up and I was to the loo when the doorbell rang, it was next door with DD saying they'd caught her walking off past their house. She said she wanted to go with Granddad. It certainly gave us a fright but we knew from then on to keep the inner doors (which are harder to open) shut at all times. These things happen and thankfully she was OK.

So sorry this happened. But everything is ok and your DD is safe. Your DP is an idiot. Instil in him at once that a two-year-old needs your/his eye on her all the time. Is he not even worried that this happened?
Probably not! Instance: my late DH once left his DC (not mine) behind in a pub at lunch time and did not notice till he got home and his then DP asked where the children were. He had taken them with him and forgotten they were there. DC were fine, btw.
But men do not seem cued in to children in the way women are. Why? They were the ones likely to need to fight off the sabre toothed tiger!!!

I am sorry and can imagine how you feel but small children get out of places all the time, unnoticed. Many years ago my next door neighbour's little two year old boy was found outside his sister's school wearing only a vest. It was only around the corner but he had to cross the road.When she had noticed he had disappeared she was in a panic but not for long, the school phoned her. Another friend's little boy was found wandering down the street in the middle of the night, he'd got out.

These things do happen, op, try to put it behind you and no doubt your husband will be ten times more vigilant from now on.

Probably did not register. Need to say it until he repeats it back and understands.

Oh FFS!

Is he still alive?

Are you Samantha Cameron? 🤣

You've had a big scare OP and will continuously go through the what ifs of the situation.

What was he doing whilst your DD managed to let herself out the home without his knowledge?

What's even more concerning is that you told him!

We had one incident when DS was younger he managed to get out the door and across the road! (Luckily small quiet cul de sac) I thought he was in the kitchen with DP and DP thought he was in the lounge with me!

It still makes me feel sick to think what could have had happened.

Definitely invest in a different lock and a chain too. The door alarm someone posted also looks good!

Yes this.

It's a scary thing that's happened but it just means better communication going forward.

"DH I am going to the shop with eldest. Please come sit with youngest she is happily playing but not ready to come to the shop"

This happened to me once.

I'd popped upstairs to get dressed and left 2yo ds watching tv with his older brothers and sisters (eldest was 12 ) I'd been gone 5 mins when I heard a knock at the door. Ran down and eldest was just shutting the door,I said "who was that"? And he said youngest had managed to open the front door (I had no idea he could do this!) and gone out onto the street. A man in a car had seen him run out of the driveway and pulled over and brought him back to the house.

I never found out who the guy was and obviously I was shocked, upset, angry with myself etc. You dread to think what could've happened. It still plays on my mind sometimes when I'm trying to get to sleep (14 years later!!) amongst other accidents that probably could've been avoided if I'd been on high alert all the time.

But the fact is we're not, we're human and mistakes happen. Sometimes kids do things you really didn't think they would do, they're unpredictable and learn fast!

The important thing is we learn from it. Doors were firmly bolted after that!

I have the same kind of door and that risk didn’t occur to me at all. What a horrible fright for you.

Op I did this as a toddler as well, my mum had settled down for her afternoon nap and I was next to her and I thought I'm bored I want to go out on my bike. So I thought I have to wash my hair and and get dressed. I wore my wellies and a mac and hat (nothing underneath) got my trike and set off.
Unfortunately I didn't get far because A neighbour saw me and returned me

This was not your fault.

It’s interesting, I always lock the front door because I worry someone could snatch one of my kids which is highly unlikely but when I actually think about it them running out would be much more likely.

No, thank goodness! It was not my DC. However, the Cameron incident came up and late DH and he admitted what he had done. Afaik his ex went ballistic. My own ex was similarly a bit off-hand looking after DC. I suspect it's a man thing and I was always wary leaving ex-DH to manage DC. Others may not say the same.

Have you posted before? If not someone else also had a useless and neglectful cunt of a partner who let their tiny child let themselves out into the street because he was watching tv/on his phone.

It wasn’t her fault and this isn’t yours. The fault is squarely with the likely phone-addled failure of a father in charge of your children.

My DH let our kitten out while I was at work and forgot about her until she'd been out for 9 hours and I was furious with him about that! I dread to think what level of anger I would have if our toddler got out of the house and he didn't notice!

This smacks of strategic incompetence. If it was a genuine mistake I would expect him to be mortified at what happened and if he wasn't, I would seriously question whether I could ever trust him with my child again.

I was away for a first night after kids were born. Husband was changing our baby's nappy. Then 2 year old slipped outside (live in cul de sac), crossed fairly busy road (directly behind our house) and sat there until my neighbour noticed him and brought him home. Husband hasn't even noticed. I was furious.

@Cantthinkofonenow when my son was almost 3 weeks were all getting ready to leave. We didn't realise that D's had reached up, turned the key and opened the door to get out until I looked up from getting my shoes on and saw him walk past the window. I almost died.

When we caught up with him his response was "I was on the path" 😬

He was also opening stair gates at 2 so you have my sympathy!

He's 5 now and we still need to lock the doors and now keep the keys in a cupboard too.

I'd be furious as well, I always thought that doors that people are suggesting were dangerous (With a key to open from the inside)
Just because of the risk that it's been removed or misplaced and you have a fire.
Your husband should have been watching her though anyway.

When my DD was 3 she was playing in the garden with her sister, I went into the field next to the house to get a ball and came back into the garden, my oldest DD said DD2 had gone into the toilet, after about a minute I went in to check she was ok and she wasn't there.

I came out the front door and a lorry was driving up the middle of the road to stop traffic ( I knew the driver and he knew who she was) he was waving at me so I ran down the road and DD3 was walking up the road right in at the side of the road, we live in the country so no pavements but luckily not busy roads.

As I was running down the road to get her she is shouting at me to be careful as there is a big lorry coming!!

It is so easy to think they are somewhere else but fortunately most people in the word are good people and look out for children.

So awful for you. Was he watching the rugby? I think sadly you have to be more sure he is listening to exactly what you are saying. I am sure he feels awful but can’t bring himself to admit it to you. Sort out the door as you definitely have Dora the explorer on the premises. Thank God it was all ok and I am sure it won’t happen again.

Your children should not be able to open the door to the outside.

We can open our door by just the handle (I don't have children at home) but it can also be locked from the inside.

If you are living upstairs mainly, use a stair gate. And lock the front door or get bolts that you fit high up where kids can't reach them.

Your H was at fault but as a couple, you're each at fault.