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Original poster

2 year old walking the street by herself feel so sick

312 replies

Cantthinkofonenow · 08/02/2025 19:07

I went to the shop with my 6 year old son and my nearly 3 year old daughter was home with her dad. When I was coming home from the shop round the corner I saw loads of people outside my house so I ran home wondering what had happened. My little girl had tried to follow me to the shop but I had gone another way, and got all the way to the end of the street and even crossed the road before a nice couple picked her up and she told them where she lived. I feel so sick and furious with her dad and like a terrible parent. I can’t believe he didn’t notice she had gone. I can’t stop thinking she might have gone with the wrong person. I feel terrible

OP posts:
StealthMama · 09/02/2025 20:54

I'm not sure the answer is to take her with you everywhere. You're saying you can't trust your partner/husband to safeguard his child.

If the 'nice 6' report you to social services, You'll need a more effective plan of action.

VeneziaJ · 09/02/2025 21:00

greengreyblue · 08/02/2025 19:55

My Dd fell down half the flight of stairs when she was 2 because I left the stair gate open .Terrible guilt but after calling 911 all was fine. DD now 24, graduated with a first class degree and doing well. It happens.

Edited

Is 911 the same as 999?

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 09/02/2025 21:15

Pippyls67 · 09/02/2025 20:48

Jeez there need to be consequences for this. You are far far too mentally traumatised for any sexual activity for the next month at least I think!

Oh dear! This is getting embarrassing.

TheChosenTwo · 09/02/2025 21:15

Ds did this twice as a toddler. First time we were upstairs and I was putting washing away in various bedrooms when all of a sudden there was a knock on the door and a lady returning him. She said she thought he lived here because our front door was wide open!
door just had a handle that could be opened from inside and outside, he had toddled up the road on the way to the little shop!
Second time (after we had started locking the door!) he had wheeled a little wheeliebug toy over to the windowsill, got the key down and opened the door and gone to next doors house (they did used to have brilliant toys!), she returned him and asked if I had realised he was missing - I hadn’t! I’d been in the kitchen preparing lunch for us and as far as I was aware he was in the front room watching Bob the builder.
If dh had gone nuts at me I’d have given him an earful back. Things happen. Yes I should have noticed but I didn’t because I was also doing other things besides looking after him. You can’t have eyes on them 24/7. No harm came to him and for that I’m very thankful.
But I didn’t beat myself up for a very easy mistake to make.

Twaddlepip · 09/02/2025 21:17

Justalittlehandhold · 09/02/2025 20:31

is there?

You think lots of men are on this forum?

And they’re all shit?

Show quote history

Are you alright? You seem very ‘literal’. I (clearly?) mean the men which form the subjects of so many, many threads by abused, desperate, broken or deeply frustrated women. Women who don’t feel that way don’t tend to start threads.

So yes, I hate the utterly shit men I read about on here, and the women trying to navigate life through their laziness, disdain, emotional, financial or even physical abuse.

Men really don’t need you to fight their corner for them. Unless you are a man?

MibsXX · 09/02/2025 21:25

Comedycook · 08/02/2025 19:20

I don't want to rub salt in the wound but this is a poor show by both you and your DH. Who has a front door like that when they have small DC? And if you do, surely you'd both be extra vigilant?

Seriously? Not a helpful comment at all, BabyMibs was a total escape artist from age 2 to 6, bolt at top of door? no problem he stacked books to reach up in the middle of the night, he picked one lock with a hairpin, no child car seat harness was a match for him.I was a bag of nerves for that 4 year period!

CorduroySituation · 09/02/2025 21:48

Cantthinkofonenow · 08/02/2025 19:23

we live in a maisonette and the front door is downstairs so usually I can keep a very good eye on her and make sure she’s upstairs. I feel so guilty

Why are YOU feeling guilty when it was his fault? Don't take on his mistakes!

vickylou78 · 09/02/2025 21:49

How do you sleep at night with a door that the children can just open??

CorduroySituation · 09/02/2025 21:58

johnd2 · 08/02/2025 20:08

It's so common, it's always a shock, but 99.9% of the time it's fine, so just don't make a habit of it!
We usually had it the other way round, I would be out for a walk with my first son and people would think he was lost and I was not the parent. Someone even rushed across the road with their kids because they thought he was lost even though I was just there. There was a short window of about a fortnight when it literally seemed to happen every time we went out.
I think something about the fact that we are both probably autistic made us look a bit out of the ordinary. Or maybe we were out at funny times of the day.

Those people were trying to let you know you weren't supervising your child properly or closely enough, without directly accusing you.
If a young child is far enough away from you for people to think of them as lost, you're not doing your job as a parent well enough.

CorduroySituation · 09/02/2025 22:00

LostittoBostik · 08/02/2025 20:12

The fact that you specifically told him you were going without her means this is entirely his fault. Honestly this would be relationship ending for me. You will never trust him with her alone again (or you're mad if you) - and you can't live like that

So then he has the kids 50/50 and OP has no idea what's happening to them in his care. Such a difficult situation to deal with.

CorduroySituation · 09/02/2025 22:04

Gagaandgag · 08/02/2025 20:28

You can learn from it now to always be explicit in your communication

Read the OP updates, she was. He was shit.

BlossomOfOrange · 09/02/2025 22:16

Whichever parent that’s in puts the latch on from now on?

Something similar happened to a neighbour’s child, at about 18 months. V frightening

IcyHare · 09/02/2025 22:16

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CorduroySituation · 09/02/2025 22:16

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Which part of OP telling her husband the 2 year old was staying with him makes you think this? HmmHmmHmm idiotic post.

IcyHare · 09/02/2025 22:18

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IcyHare · 09/02/2025 22:19

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Trallia · 09/02/2025 22:22

Get a chain or latch. My 2 YO will happily turn the key in the lock and open the door to escape. We have to watch her all the time!

Original poster
Cantthinkofonenow · 09/02/2025 22:22

vickylou78 · 09/02/2025 21:49

How do you sleep at night with a door that the children can just open??

It has a chain??

OP posts:
RampantIvy · 09/02/2025 22:24

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Shameful to blame the OK when she had asked her partner to watch their child.

Your comment is nasty and unhelpful Hmm

CorduroySituation · 09/02/2025 22:27

TomatoSandwiches · 09/02/2025 13:57

Accidents do happen, but this wasn't an accident, it was negligence on ops partners behalf and the key differences you notice in comparison in reactions between a mother or father in these situations is that women are ( usually sleep deprived from taking on the night duties of babies ) apologetic, guilt ridden and take appropriate action to remedy whatever caused it to happen and then this man gaslighting his partner and absolving his own shitty parenting.

There is a difference and those are the types of fathers/parents I have disdain for.

Edited

Exactly.

IcyHare · 09/02/2025 22:28

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mathanxiety · 09/02/2025 22:29

Trallia · 09/02/2025 22:22

Get a chain or latch. My 2 YO will happily turn the key in the lock and open the door to escape. We have to watch her all the time!

She has a chain!

But she can't use the chain when she is leaving the house.

outedbyspoons · 09/02/2025 22:31

Cantthinkofonenow · 08/02/2025 20:44

Thank you for the tips and advice in your replies and for your reassurance. I’ll look into sorting the door out.
she’s tucked into bed now fast asleep. I am so so grateful to the couple that picked her up they couldn’t have been nicer about it. I’ll make sure I take her everywhere now

I’ll make sure I take her everywhere now

And men everywhere learn that weaponised incompetence gets them off the hook for safety-critical tasks so they can carry on watching YouTube videos.

Don't pick up his slack like this.

outedbyspoons · 09/02/2025 22:32

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If a man can't be bothered to watch his own child, that's 100% his fault, not his wife's.

mathanxiety · 09/02/2025 22:32

H0210zero · 09/02/2025 18:30

I'm sorry but if your partner didn't know you hadn't taken her with you and by the sound of it you have done so before your both to blame. You should have made it 100% clear you were not taking her and he should have watched her. It is alright calling him the bad parent but if I left my DS when he was little Id always make sure I know who he is left with and that they'd re aware I'm leaving. As for her door been easily open that is also on both of you. Not just 1 person. You are straight there to blame him but you also say he thought you'd took her and that by the sound of your post she took the route you usually take going to the shop so you do sometimes take her. What was she doing when you.kefy who was spoiling after her prior to you leaving. Because if he thought you'd taken her it sounds more.elike you left her hoping he'd know she was there and now at blaming him. Both are at fault here.

She told him.

What more could she have done, in your opinion?

He is saying he thought she took the toddler because he's a turd who has a bad habit of gaslighting instead of acknowledging how badly he fucked up.