2 year old walking the street by herself feel so sick

[Cantthinkofonenow]

I went to the shop with my 6 year old son and my nearly 3 year old daughter was home with her dad. When I was coming home from the shop round the corner I saw loads of people outside my house so I ran home wondering what had happened. My little girl had tried to follow me to the shop but I had gone another way, and got all the way to the end of the street and even crossed the road before a nice couple picked her up and she told them where she lived. I feel so sick and furious with her dad and like a terrible parent. I can’t believe he didn’t notice she had gone. I can’t stop thinking she might have gone with the wrong person. I feel terrible

Mum has to do all the childminding because Dad can't be trusted with his own child.

Hence why I asked where was the child when OP left, as they both assumed the child was with the other parent.

Fjrst you need to get a doghouse for your H to sleep in for the foreseeable.

Your H needs to do the bit about making the front door secure or he needs to commit to being an actual adult human.

What a twat.

Then train the H to pay attention.

NO!

That would be a win for him.

He can carry on watching TV or gaming or playing on his phone while you try to get stuff done with a toddler in tow?

Absolutely no to that.

He needs to sort the door.
He needs to start listening when you speak to him and keeping his ears and eyes peeled for his own small children.

Do not put up with this shirking of responsibility and do not enable this, OP.

She was.

The question is, will he learn from this to listen the fuck up when his wife speaks to him?

Based on his attitude, I seriously doubt he will.

" He knew she was staying with him I said to her in front of him you can watch bluey until I’m back and I said to him I’m not taking her "

So she was there with him.

Op should be able to trust her partner, the child's own father to pay attention to a, what she says to him and b, to take responsibility and be aware of where the child he is looking after is, it's a masionette not Buckingham Palace.

Similar happened to us when my youngest was about 3. Our door opens easily but she wasn't able to open our heavy porch door, or so we thought. Dh brought her out to the back garden while I popped to the shop, she slipped back into the house and out the front door without him noticing. Luckily a passing couple saw her heading towards the main road and stayed with her until my frantic dh saw them. It was only a few minutes but long enough for something terrible to happen to her.

Why, because her father can’t be trusted to look after his own child?

Unfortunately many councils now fit doors like this as standard. Ours does. Not allowed to change ours either as something to do with fire safety.

not saying op lives in a council property but just pointing out

Bloody hell! Bit strong!

But did he looks shocked / scared when you said she had been roaming the streets or did he just get defensive?

This happens a lot with under 4s. I did it as a 2 year old as did my sister. Both times the family dog had followed us (two different GS) and were there to bodyguard and snarled at our rescuers. Also happened to neighbours child, she was standing on the road outside her house. Her df hadn't realised that his friend had left the back door open in the house when he left. Same with people I used to babysit for (not on my watch thankfully) Their child was about half a mile away before they realised. My own ds did it one day too, dh had left the side gate open. It really is terrifying when you start to think what could have happened. Being hit by a car being the most likely concern.

How would that have made any difference if the DH here hadn't put it on? The OP couldn't have done it from outside!!

We had an ordinary key lock mechanism, and we put a hook high up behind the curtain at the front door, so there was always a key easily found in case of fire.

Out of three children, we had zero escapees!

My brother aged 2 did escape; we'd been saying goodbye to visitors and he somehow got out without being noticed and ran straight for a very busy crossroads. Fortunately, my mother realised, gave chase, and caught him before he got there!

What about the equivalent of the whoever is wearing the yellow hat is in charge of all the kids in the pool? ( that may be an Australian thing sorry). It's because if there is a big group of people everyone thinks someone else is watching the kids. You have to be clear. Kids have drowned with heaps of adults standing around chatting.
Anyway, get the dang door fixed I can barely get out of my front door - DH is a bit OTT.
But from now on ( as you know you have a little escapee on your hands) when either of you is leaving you physically place DD in the other ones arms.They know then. Obviously if asleep place monitor or something like that in the other ones hands. It's a hard reminder to your brain.And works much better than a verbal cue.
Incredibly intelligent people have left there kids in cars and the child has died. There's a very insightful article about it ( maybe Washington Times).
That's why peoplle suggest things like putting your handbag or wallet in the backseat. You aren't going to walk off without them.
Also, change of routine , if you normally take the 2yo and he wasn't really listening then his brain will go to standard, oh she's taken the kids to the shops.
Sorry for essay
Glad all worked out well.

I did something very similar at around that age, except that my mum was having a bath and had left my dad in charge, and I was walking up the centre line of a main road whilst reading a book, apparently oblivious to all the stopped cars around me.

You have a husband problem. If he wasn't aware that his child had left the house, he wasn't paying enough attention to be sure that she wasn't sticking her fingers into the toaster.

It's wise to change the lock for one that needs a key both sides anyway. Keep a spare key on a hook near the door and out of your DD's reach, with a tritium keyfob on it. This ensures that you can find the key if you need to leave urgently in the dark. If you aren't comfortable doing this then fit a pool alarm.

Not strong enough imo.

Wonder what you would be calling him if the child had been hit by a car?

@Cantthinkofonenow I found my little brother wandering at about the same age {coming up to three yrs old} while on holiday in the South of France-
I'd gone for a wander outside the camp site and saw a familiar shape stomping along the road.. I asked ''Where are mum and dad?'' but they weren' there!...but brother had trotted off on his own.

He was a bit of a ''head down and keep on walking'' type child.

Mum even now speaks of it with horror... a little child could have been whisked away..however, your child is ok, locks on doors and lessons hopefully learned.

With two parents accidents often happen when ''the other parent thinks they have the child'' - always check!

How is that your response? You can’t take a 2 year old with you everywhere and nor should you have to when there is another parent home! Your anger needs to be redirected at your husband

Absolutely! We did this too, terrified me that the children may escape at anytime of the day or night

it’s not beyond the realms of possibility that he may genuinely have thought thought OP changed her mind last second when he realised she wasn’t there and took her with her after all but I hear what you are saying. It’s just all the dad bashing early in read like people were saying he was a useless dad solely because he hadn’t noticed the toddler had wandered off when even our own recent history shows that anyone can momentarily not notice, but there won’t be threads on here about what useless mums they are. I don’t see why it’s distasteful or ghoulish to make that point when it really can happen to anyone and absolutely does.

I’d have some empathy! That’s what I’d be having.

People make mistakes, it happens.

Some women on here, just hate men.

When my now teenager was not quite 2yo, she decided to follow DH and FIL to the golf course.
I was changing babies nappy and thought DD1 was upstairs with MIL
MIL thought she was downstairs with me

It was about 10mins before we realised she was neither...
Meanwhile DH and FIL were just starting on the first hole when across the course they saw a little figure in a tshirt, nappy and wellies running across the course to get to the club house. Realised it was her, and was chasing after her when I appeared with no shoes on...

DH never blamed me. I aged 10years in those few minutes.

You've had some good advice about a bit of extra child proofing, and yes he should have been paying more attention, but some responses have been completely OTT b

What a disgusting post.