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HRTQueen · 08/02/2025 16:44

Yes many people need somewhere secure, a place that they are not going to be moved on from and agree with pp many crave that security of being looked after

I work in forensic mh and we are under pressure for our patients to progress simple fact is some just won’t they will always need very high levels of support and some would be far better off in a setting that provides care than this constant push for them to reach their potential and live in a low support community setting

we don’t need to return to the institutions as they were places that are far more therputic but what we have now just keeps many in a cycle of hospital community placement hospital

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 16:45

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 08/02/2025 16:36

She’s learnt too though, manipulate people to get her own way, and yes I do know about personality disorders.

  1. What treatment is she getting to unlearn this behaviour?
  2. She learned it from somewhere. I suspect that she has been neglected all her childhood and learned that you get attention by cutting etc.
I could so easily be her. When good behaviour is ignored and any attention is better than no attention, the child learns to act out.
selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 16:48

oakleaffy · 08/02/2025 16:40

See other’s posts about manipulation.
Suicide threats are a common way to manipulate others.

So is self-harm, yet the bleeding, infection risk, and lifelong scarring are nonetheless real. Someone can attempt suicide as a "cry for help" and still end up dead.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Anychocolatesleft111 · 08/02/2025 16:50

Schroom · 08/02/2025 13:25

She’s clearly an extremely difficult but also vulnerable person. We have major issues with social care which successive governments have utterly failed to sort out.

Yes it just needs to be acknowledged that there will be s certain percentage of vulnerable people in society who can’t or won’t manage on their own and provision needs to be made for them.

I’m not advocating that people should be encouraged to give up responsibility for themselves because there are too many able people doing that already, but there are certain cases where people need help or steering full stop.

To be fair, a supported flat was offered but she didn’t feel safe going back there and maybe investigations should have been done as to why exactly?

Peoole with mental and physical disabilities are very vulnerable to abuse. The statistics are shocking! On the other hand, it could have been something entirely made up. but efforts should have been made to investigate before sending her back, and the article doesn’t make it clear whether that was done or not.

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 16:50

fromthegecko · 08/02/2025 16:14

Social care is commissioned by councils but provided by 'entrepreneurs'. How will market forces ever induce them to provide what this woman needs? She's not the kind of business they want.

What are you on about, she was offered suitable placements.Care Providers agreed to accommodate her. Offer made she declined. you’re demonstrating that you fundamentally misunderstood this

saraclara · 08/02/2025 16:55

TwentyTwentyFive · 08/02/2025 13:28

There is absolutely a lot more to this story. It sounds like everyone involved bent over backwards to support her, give her a voice and find somewhere suitable. I'm sure they were all incredibly frustrated that they had to take it to such extremes to get her to leave. Even from what's written it does sound like she continually put obstacles in their path. Sometimes people don't actually want help no matter how much you try and it sounds like this was one of those times.

That. Despite what were very clear mental health issues, she was deemed to have capacity, and she chose to refuse the options available to her, for very spurious reasons.

Social care is in a complete mess, but in this case the 18 months stay was not completely down to Adult Social Care, by a long way. Sadly the woman herself and her decisions, was the issue.

alwaysMakingItsofar · 08/02/2025 16:58

The article ends that she is now in a flat. So what is the issue?

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 16:59

Lovelysummerdays · 08/02/2025 16:39

I think this is a budget thing. There is no joined up thinking. It will cost more for the NHS to keep someone in a bed who doesn’t need to be there. However the social care budget is seperate and whilst in hospital she’s essentially getting free care. There’s no impetus to get her in a care home and start paying £60k plus a year. I’m sure it’s something like £400 a day for a hospital bed so costs tax payer more overall.

What are you on about?This is not a system failure, as in no placement ,no professional liaison. the NHS and adult social care would most certainly have been joined up. NO impetus I can assure you this would have been a priority and escalated with local authority and NHS.

They offered multiple placement, she declined them

You literally have no basis for saying it’s a lack of joined up thinking. but hey, it’s probably sound snappy to you and it’s easy to opine

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/02/2025 16:59

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 16:41

Sort out the headphones how?
Forcibly compel her use headphones? How? Restrain her?
NO medic or HCP is going to forcibly place headphones on an adult. She’ll take them off again, then what? Restrain,compel,coerce her to wear headphones multiple time a day. Really? An intervention need to be proportionate and appropriate. How does staff force an adult to wear healdphone?

Behind every seemingly simple answer there’s a complex question

Hospitals definitely need to be given some powers to handle this kind of behaviour. Perhaps wilfully disturbing other patients should be an offence and security / police can chuck people out who do it, after warning of the consequences? After all, listening to extremely loud music without headphones is a choice; it’s not like someone screaming in pain / loud verbal tics.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 17:00

Anychocolatesleft111 · 08/02/2025 16:50

Yes it just needs to be acknowledged that there will be s certain percentage of vulnerable people in society who can’t or won’t manage on their own and provision needs to be made for them.

I’m not advocating that people should be encouraged to give up responsibility for themselves because there are too many able people doing that already, but there are certain cases where people need help or steering full stop.

To be fair, a supported flat was offered but she didn’t feel safe going back there and maybe investigations should have been done as to why exactly?

Peoole with mental and physical disabilities are very vulnerable to abuse. The statistics are shocking! On the other hand, it could have been something entirely made up. but efforts should have been made to investigate before sending her back, and the article doesn’t make it clear whether that was done or not.

Edited

People with mental and physical disabilities are very vulnerable to abuse.

And are so rarely believed when we report that abuse. Especially if we have an EUPD diagnosis.

saraclara · 08/02/2025 17:01

She was offered a flat with 24 hours support two people and she refused it

That. Can you imagine how desperate ASC and the NHS were, if they offered her a flat and 24 hour carers?

This is not a situation that happened for lack of effort on anyone's part. 120 places considered and applied for, and anything available to her, she refused.

fromthegecko · 08/02/2025 17:01

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 16:50

What are you on about, she was offered suitable placements.Care Providers agreed to accommodate her. Offer made she declined. you’re demonstrating that you fundamentally misunderstood this

Out of 121 providers, only one offered a placement. Of course, her reasons for refusing could have been bullshit, but technically, care clients are supposed to have choices.

No-one cares, because she's unlikeable. But maybe next time it will be a Bambi-eyed quadriplegic who's forced to accept a rat-infested hell-hole hundreds of miles from her family, because bed-blocking.

(Hyperbole for effect only.)

Gwenhwyfar · 08/02/2025 17:02

oakleaffy · 08/02/2025 14:36

So she can threaten suicide to manipulate people?

Most of us have to work and strive to live where we want to live, we can’t threaten suicide because we want to live in a luxurious home waited on hand foot and finger or wherever she wants to live?

Her mother needs to step up.
It’s her daughter after all.

Parents aren't responsible for their adult children, at least not legally, and if this peron has a personality disorder we don't know how she is with her mother.

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 08/02/2025 17:02

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 16:45

  1. What treatment is she getting to unlearn this behaviour?
  2. She learned it from somewhere. I suspect that she has been neglected all her childhood and learned that you get attention by cutting etc.
I could so easily be her. When good behaviour is ignored and any attention is better than no attention, the child learns to act out.

Well it would help if her behaviour wasn’t pandered to.
I suspect she has been a pain in the arse to all that have encountered her during her adult life.
I feel sorry for all those affected by and having to deal with her selfish manipulative behaviour.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 08/02/2025 17:04

I don’t understand why her having capacity means she got to say, ‘not that one, I’ll stay in hospital’ ‘not that one, I’ll stay in hospital’ over and over again rather than being told, ‘hospital is not an option, flat A or flat B?’

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 17:04

fromthegecko · 08/02/2025 17:01

Out of 121 providers, only one offered a placement. Of course, her reasons for refusing could have been bullshit, but technically, care clients are supposed to have choices.

No-one cares, because she's unlikeable. But maybe next time it will be a Bambi-eyed quadriplegic who's forced to accept a rat-infested hell-hole hundreds of miles from her family, because bed-blocking.

(Hyperbole for effect only.)

No-one cares, because she's unlikeable.

You've hit the nail on the head.

Unlikeable patients still have Right To Choose and unlikeable patients still deserve to be safeguarded.

Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 08/02/2025 17:05

It’s very complex. Where do you draw the line when vulnerable people are offered accommodation and care packages? Is refusing to live in an entire town because of trauma attached to that place valid, or not?

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 17:05

IsEveryUserNameBloodyTaken · 08/02/2025 17:02

Well it would help if her behaviour wasn’t pandered to.
I suspect she has been a pain in the arse to all that have encountered her during her adult life.
I feel sorry for all those affected by and having to deal with her selfish manipulative behaviour.

I feel sorry for her because she's been written off by everyone and she's learned that behaviour somewhere.

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 17:05

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/02/2025 16:59

Hospitals definitely need to be given some powers to handle this kind of behaviour. Perhaps wilfully disturbing other patients should be an offence and security / police can chuck people out who do it, after warning of the consequences? After all, listening to extremely loud music without headphones is a choice; it’s not like someone screaming in pain / loud verbal tics.

Ok, what powers?
tell me…
What powers should NHS have to force an adult to wear headphones? How will that be enforced? Hold her down? Assemble a group of staff to restrain an adult several times a day.
How is forcible restraint to wear headphones incorporated into. SoP
How does it sit with code of ethics? What if she bring a assault case against staff
GMC hearing? Suspend staff whilst investigating it
Do you outsource it to an external agency so health staff don’t have to do it? Do an external agency have to restrain an adult several times

As I said , for every simple someone sense answer there is a complex problem

oakleaffy · 08/02/2025 17:07

This Jessie has been threatening and physically aggressive to people in homes where she has lived before.

Staff and other residents also need to be kept safe and protected from her physical aggression.

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/02/2025 17:07

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 17:05

Ok, what powers?
tell me…
What powers should NHS have to force an adult to wear headphones? How will that be enforced? Hold her down? Assemble a group of staff to restrain an adult several times a day.
How is forcible restraint to wear headphones incorporated into. SoP
How does it sit with code of ethics? What if she bring a assault case against staff
GMC hearing? Suspend staff whilst investigating it
Do you outsource it to an external agency so health staff don’t have to do it? Do an external agency have to restrain an adult several times

As I said , for every simple someone sense answer there is a complex problem

Security can throw them out. If they won’t follow the rules, then they don’t get to disturb others. Their choice.

Should be as a last resort. But you can’t prioritise one person over EVERYONE else on the ward.

Happierthaneverr · 08/02/2025 17:08

If she had capacity she should have been dropped at the front of the hospital with her belongings as soon as she was medically fit.

The amount of resources that will have been thrown at this individual is off the charts. She will have been holding the ward hostage, abusing the staff. The reason why is irrelevant. Imagine all the poorly patients who had this inflicted on them whilst they were on this ward. They’re the ones who have my sympathies.

Zone2NorthLondon · 08/02/2025 17:09

ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 08/02/2025 17:07

Security can throw them out. If they won’t follow the rules, then they don’t get to disturb others. Their choice.

Should be as a last resort. But you can’t prioritise one person over EVERYONE else on the ward.

There you are. Simple common sense answer to a complex problem
NO security are not going to force her to wear headphones or throw her out
Next…

Snugglemonkey · 08/02/2025 17:11

MelisandeLongfield · 08/02/2025 13:52

The pictures of all her things stacked up around her hospital bed was so sad. That little sparkly bag and the dolls must be things that bring her comfort. I hope she's getting on OK where she's been placed, despite her bad associations with the area. It doesn't sound ideal but it has to be better than a hospital bed even if only as somewhere to live until somewhere else more suitable can be found.

Things should not be all stacked up around a hospital bed. That is a nightmare to keep clean.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 08/02/2025 17:12

Oodlesandoodlesofnoodles · 08/02/2025 17:05

It’s very complex. Where do you draw the line when vulnerable people are offered accommodation and care packages? Is refusing to live in an entire town because of trauma attached to that place valid, or not?

Is refusing to live in an entire town because of trauma attached to that place valid, or not?

Yes, it is valid. A decade later, one of the boys who used to beat me up school recognised me on the street and gloated about how he'd "used to kick the shit out of you [me]", to quote his exact words. I was shaking with fear. As long as I lived there, I could come across him or any of the other boys who beat me up, and in two cases sexually assaulted me, at any time just going about my business. I'm merely autistic, without a complex personality disorder, and he still had that much adverse effect on me. Reader, I left town and refuse to go back.

What do you think this lass might have endured and how terrified do you think she might genuinely be? Consider how overrepresented mentally-ill women are as sexual assault victims?