Page 14 | School run comments in work

gocompare · 2025-02-02T08:42:13+00:00

In a meeting last month I said I wasn't available for Monday meetings at 3:00. I could do any other time before or after. The most senior person in the meeting said "that sounds like a school run" I didn't really confirm or deny what it was. It was said in a meeting full of men I was the only female if it makes a difference and I just feel off about it and I can't work out why but I don't think he should of said it. Am I just being over sensitive as I have form for this.

Bellyblueboy · 02/02/2025 18:41

curliegirlie · 02/02/2025 18:38

All I have said is flexibility is fantastic - but the impact can vary by sector and by workplace. Sometimes it’s really easy to do, therefore it should absolutely be available to all.
[...]
Surely this discussion should lend itself to understanding why, in some specific circumstances, parents leaving the workplace mid afternoon can cause an issue? Just sometimes?

Yes, but apparently not in this circumstance, when the OP had had an agreement in place with her LM for the past 5 years.

This is like people arguing against WFH, just because it's impossible in certain sectors.

The conversation had evolved - that’s what discussions do. I am now so sorry I even tried to discuss this because clearly people only wanted to have a very one sided conversation😊

Imagine the folks on here participating in a debate. They give their side. Some else stands up to give an alerbative perspective and they all walk out in a huff😂😂

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2025 18:42

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 11:52

She's taking her unpaid hour break she is entitled to. Do you class anyone else taking their scheduled lumvhbreak as "refusing to work" too?

Show quote history

It's not her scheduled lunch break though. Her scheduled lunchbreak is presumably around the middle of the day. She has an informal arrangement to take it at 3pm instead, but that's not been made official.

The meeting cannot be moved to 12.30 to 1.30 (for example) because that's when everyone else is supposed to have their lunchbreak. Do you see the problem?

Complete flexi time doesn't work for jobs that are very meeting heavy or require people to be present at the same time.

ValentineValentineV · 02/02/2025 18:47

When do you eat lunch OP?

curliegirlie · 02/02/2025 18:50

Well, no. It should be clear to everyone that this level of flexibility works in some workplaces, not others. I'm not sure that was ever up for debate was it?

The sheer ridiculousness though of so many people suggesting that OP was taking the piss with her arrangement, stating that she could not do this particular meeting time, or feeling uncomfortable because she felt she was being called out over the fact that she couldn't do it was due to the school run. All the unsolicited advice about the existence of after school clubs, school busses or taxi (which may or may not be available/possible for her in any case).

So much of it feels like a race to the bottom.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2025 18:58

curliegirlie · 02/02/2025 18:50

Well, no. It should be clear to everyone that this level of flexibility works in some workplaces, not others. I'm not sure that was ever up for debate was it?

The sheer ridiculousness though of so many people suggesting that OP was taking the piss with her arrangement, stating that she could not do this particular meeting time, or feeling uncomfortable because she felt she was being called out over the fact that she couldn't do it was due to the school run. All the unsolicited advice about the existence of after school clubs, school busses or taxi (which may or may not be available/possible for her in any case).

So much of it feels like a race to the bottom.

I'm very in favour of flexi time where possible and work life balance for parents and non-parents alike. However, this is something that doesn't just affect OP. I'm thinking of the poor person who has to fix the meeting, already needing to fix it around the official lunch break and any other work meetings people may have, to then have the 3pm slot unavailable for this when it's not official is just making things hard for him/her.

curliegirlie · 02/02/2025 19:00

And all this stuff about "official lunch breaks"? A great many of my meetings take place between 12 and 2.....

stichguru · 02/02/2025 19:03

Ignore it. It was a school run, they were right, but you have ok'd that with your boss so that's ok.

thirdfiddle · 02/02/2025 19:04

People manage. We have three different time zones in the team, and the manager has a school run. And somehow we still manage to have meetings.

Likewhatever · 02/02/2025 19:05

But tbh OP you are using it for the school run. So he was right.

It sounds as though you don’t want it known you’re doing the school run because you know it wouldn’t be formally agreed so you’re relying on a sympathetic boss letting you do it informally.

Would that be it?

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2025 19:13

thirdfiddle · 02/02/2025 19:04

People manage. We have three different time zones in the team, and the manager has a school run. And somehow we still manage to have meetings.

Depends on the office though. Does your team have a lot of external meetings too? It's when you add those that it can become impossible.

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:34

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2025 18:42

It's not her scheduled lunch break though. Her scheduled lunchbreak is presumably around the middle of the day. She has an informal arrangement to take it at 3pm instead, but that's not been made official.

The meeting cannot be moved to 12.30 to 1.30 (for example) because that's when everyone else is supposed to have their lunchbreak. Do you see the problem?

Complete flexi time doesn't work for jobs that are very meeting heavy or require people to be present at the same time.

Show quote history

Her scheduled lunchbreak is 3pm as per the agreement with her manager.

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:37

The meeting cannot be moved to 12.30 to 1.30 (for example) because that's when everyone else is supposed to have their lunchbreak

Unless her employer has specific hours where people are supposed to take their breaks within, then no, no one is "supposed" to take their break at a set time.

Dreammouse · 02/02/2025 19:43

Greenkindness · 02/02/2025 15:51

I need to bow out this thread. Being a working mum has saved my sanity and we need the money too. I have had jobs where I couldn’t pick the kids up from school and ones where I could. The option to do so really works for me, and if I’m happy then everyone benefits. My employers don’t mind. I’m sorry some of you don’t get the flexibility I do. OP I wish you well.

Honestly if you're happy then why are you affected by random strangers posting anonymously on a message board? Not sure why people choose to spend their time on an Internet message board and then moan not everyone agrees with them. Lots of responses were more about why OP didn't just say yeah it is instead of spending head space and stressing over the weekend about something that doesn't matter.

LadyTangerine · 02/02/2025 19:46

'Her scheduled lunchbreak is 3pm as per the agreement with her manager'

But it isn't actually good for productivity and performance to go so long without lunch. Presuming she starts at 8.30/9 <or perhaps later if she does the am school run too>, then a meal break should be lunchtime not mid to late afternoon. Her blood sugars will slump ditto energy levels. How does she eat whilst dashing to ferry her kids about?

As I say as an occasional thing I can understand it but I doubt many managers would agree this on a permanent basis.

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:49

LadyTangerine · 02/02/2025 19:46

'Her scheduled lunchbreak is 3pm as per the agreement with her manager'

But it isn't actually good for productivity and performance to go so long without lunch. Presuming she starts at 8.30/9 <or perhaps later if she does the am school run too>, then a meal break should be lunchtime not mid to late afternoon. Her blood sugars will slump ditto energy levels. How does she eat whilst dashing to ferry her kids about?

As I say as an occasional thing I can understand it but I doubt many managers would agree this on a permanent basis.

This is irrelevant though. Her manager has agreed that she can take her hours break at this point. I'm sure if it had such an effect on her productivity they'd have stopped it.

She can eat a cup a soup or some yoghurt and fruit or whatever at her desk during the day, and with a 1 hour break could also eat outside of the journey too (my school run round trip is 25mins).

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:51

As I say as an occasional thing I can understand it but I doubt many managers would agree this on a permanent basis

Did you read her op? It's just on a Monday.

LadyTangerine · 02/02/2025 19:54

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:51

As I say as an occasional thing I can understand it but I doubt many managers would agree this on a permanent basis

Did you read her op? It's just on a Monday.

'It's all informal. Some days I do both am and pm'

mewkins · 02/02/2025 19:55

Likewhatever · 02/02/2025 19:05

But tbh OP you are using it for the school run. So he was right.

It sounds as though you don’t want it known you’re doing the school run because you know it wouldn’t be formally agreed so you’re relying on a sympathetic boss letting you do it informally.

Would that be it?

He shouldn't have said that in a meeting with others. What if she had a doctor's appointment, a smear test, counselling? Should she be forced to divulge it to her colleagues in a meeting? Discussing and getting clearance from her line manager is what she is obligated to do. Not have anyone in any position of seniority question her whereabouts.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2025 20:14

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:34

Her scheduled lunchbreak is 3pm as per the agreement with her manager.

Show quote history

Unofficially and informally only. Is the lunchbreak mentioned in her contract? If so, I presume she would need an addendum to her contract to make her new lunch break official.

Gwenhwyfar · 02/02/2025 20:15

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 19:37

The meeting cannot be moved to 12.30 to 1.30 (for example) because that's when everyone else is supposed to have their lunchbreak

Unless her employer has specific hours where people are supposed to take their breaks within, then no, no one is "supposed" to take their break at a set time.

Many offices do have a lunch break. OP hasn't said that hers doesn't.

StormyPotatoes · 02/02/2025 20:31

There’s a lot of lack of perspective on this thread and some very rigid thinking.

I work in a very flexible organisation. I work reduced hours, slightly compressed over some days. I also do the school run 2x per week.

I have never known meetings being avoided between 12-2pm. We don’t have set lunch times so it doesn’t happen. We just look at calendars and find available time.

Meetings are only ever for collaboration for me so there is no ‘picking up my work’ because I’m at the school run. Equally if everyone did just decide to take a break at 3pm it would probably work out better.

As it happens, meetings means fitting in between my part time work, Susie’s part time working (different days), Steve’s weekly physio, Stan’s lunchtime walk and Sarah’s visit to her elderly grandma, etc. Yet we’re all adults and manage it just fine.

Flexible working means I, Susie, Steve, Stan and Sarah are all happy. We remain at the company despite the pay being rubbish and give more than we take (by picking up work in the evenings, for example). The organisation is happy too.

Work isn’t and shouldn’t be 9-5 just because it always was. Unless there is a business need then what do you possibly lose by offering flexibility? And instead, how much more can you gain?

Original poster

gocompare · 02/02/2025 20:35

StormyPotatoes · 02/02/2025 20:31

There’s a lot of lack of perspective on this thread and some very rigid thinking.

I work in a very flexible organisation. I work reduced hours, slightly compressed over some days. I also do the school run 2x per week.

I have never known meetings being avoided between 12-2pm. We don’t have set lunch times so it doesn’t happen. We just look at calendars and find available time.

Meetings are only ever for collaboration for me so there is no ‘picking up my work’ because I’m at the school run. Equally if everyone did just decide to take a break at 3pm it would probably work out better.

As it happens, meetings means fitting in between my part time work, Susie’s part time working (different days), Steve’s weekly physio, Stan’s lunchtime walk and Sarah’s visit to her elderly grandma, etc. Yet we’re all adults and manage it just fine.

Flexible working means I, Susie, Steve, Stan and Sarah are all happy. We remain at the company despite the pay being rubbish and give more than we take (by picking up work in the evenings, for example). The organisation is happy too.

Work isn’t and shouldn’t be 9-5 just because it always was. Unless there is a business need then what do you possibly lose by offering flexibility? And instead, how much more can you gain?

Yes it's like that where I work.

OP posts:

Ponderingwindow · 02/02/2025 20:40

Like many people at my workplace, I negotiated the school run into my day. I have no qualms about being upfront about what I am* doing. I think it’s important to normalize this kind of work life balance and as a more senior employee who I know they are desperate to keep on, I know I have the clout to be that person.

I also made it clear that if a meeting was critical and the key stakeholders needed that time slot, I would work something out and make myself available. I just wouldn’t schedule routine meetings.

*technically was because as of last month dd now drives herself to and from school and I am free! Free!

JimHalpertsWife · 02/02/2025 20:44

My employer has a "work anywhere, work any times" set up - all teams are working the hours the specific team need to work to meet the needs of the business.

If I wanted to work 6am-6pm Saturday and Sunday, then do 9-12 mon-fri then I could.

Greenkindness · 02/02/2025 20:48

Dreammouse · 02/02/2025 19:43

Honestly if you're happy then why are you affected by random strangers posting anonymously on a message board? Not sure why people choose to spend their time on an Internet message board and then moan not everyone agrees with them. Lots of responses were more about why OP didn't just say yeah it is instead of spending head space and stressing over the weekend about something that doesn't matter.

Show quote history

I felt like I was trying to explain that the set up works where I work, when some people are saying it’s not on. We’ve all agreed to disagree and that’s fine. I would rather spend my Sunday with my kids than go round in circles with people I don’t know. Not all responses were to the OP, the conversation moved on.

Honestly, I have worked at places where you have had to almost prove as a working parent that you are committed and want to do well. I worked part time because childcare costs made full time not worth it. When I was in that situation I would have loved someone to stand by my side and say it’s ok to want to be at school for the school play, for example, or finish early to pick them up if they’re sick. OP / other people taking a break to do the school run seemed to be getting criticised. I might be wrong or reading too much into it. Some posters ‘thanked’ my post so guessing I wasn’t too wide of the mark. Equally as a mum who works full time, weekends are precious, so rather than go round in circles with people I don’t know, I did some baking with the kids. I was affected because I’d hate to think my colleagues dislike me and my working pattern, or think I’m not a team player.