School run comments in work

[gocompare]

In a meeting last month I said I wasn't available for Monday meetings at 3:00. I could do any other time before or after.

The most senior person in the meeting said "that sounds like a school run" I didn't really confirm or deny what it was.

It was said in a meeting full of men I was the only female if it makes a difference and I just feel off about it and I can't work out why but I don't think he should of said it.

Am I just being over sensitive as I have form for this.

It’s none of his business if your boss is ok with it. However there are laws about rest breaks at work which you may be in breach of, but in that case your boss would be the one held accountable.

And it would be for OP to make a complaint not the colleague!

If you read my whole post that is exactly what I said. Every workplace is different. I am caveating everything. I say by saying this is my workplace I am talking about.

I am very clearly not judging everyone by this

I even close my post by saying it won’t be like that in every workplace🫣😊

She's not doing the schoolrun while at work. She's doing it on the 1 hour of unpaid non working time she gets every day

The issue comes if your job involves meetings and you not being available at a key times makes scheduling difficult. We don't know if that's the case here.

You cannot have a child with you while you are working, it's piss taking

Of any age? Now you are taking the piss

Who decided that 3pm was a "key time"?

At what time would you suggest someone starts a 2 hr afternoon meeting?

I love how on this thread it is simultaneously ok to have a taxi pick your child up from school or have them get on a mythical school bus and not ok to have a child of any age in the same house as you while in 'office' hours 😆.

What mythical school bus? LAs have to provide transport if the school isn't in walking distance. What's wrong with a taxi? If kids are able to be left for hours at home they are surely able to get in a taxi?

I get it. He was basically challenging you in front of a group of men (who let's face it, tend to get ahead in their careers because women pick up the slack at home). If you said you couldn't do 1pm would he have said 'that sounds like a lunch break'? I wouldn't have wanted to tell him either. Sounds like he is a nosey pig.

If a child is young enough to need someone to escort them home, they will also need supervision

The kids aren't at home alone.

And they don't need to take a taxi because their parent is on their unpaid lunch break during the pick up time.

And some schools are walking distance but the school doesn't allow home walking til Y6.

This is incorrect and if your read people's posts who do this, you'd see.

Not all schools have a bus service, and not all areas have taxis.

And anyway, even if they did, why would you use them when you can go and collect your kids for free anyway?

This just isn't true.

Lots of schools are on rural roads where walking just isn't safe, but the children are absolutely fine once they're at home.

Lots of taxis won't take un-escorted children under a certain age.
You can also be close enough to walk to school but the route can still be unsafe, so you might not qualify for the bus.

Our (primary) school has no buses. It also doesn't permit kids to leave the classroom at the end of the day without a parent until they're in year 6. Even then the school is right next to a really busy main road so many parents still collect. No kids get taxis from school and the school would probably not release the child to a taxi driver anyway. From the age of 7 or 8 both of my children have been more than capable of entertaining themselves for a few hours. They do homework, read, draw, do stuff together, play with the dog etc.

There are a good few years when kids are pretty independent but you still wouldn't want them out on the streets on their own, getting into taxis or even with friends.

Regardlessn, the OP has said she doesn't look after the kids after the school run. She has other arrangements.

It is a chat forum, we share our opinions and as long as done so within TGs it isn't really on to try and control things.

It is ok to disgaree. I'm not remotely jealous rather I'm surprised some support using flexi time to do a school run when other arrangements should be in place.

As I always say to my dc work hard, get good qualifications and be an absolutely reliable and valued member of the team.

All I have said is flexibility is fantastic - but the impact can vary by sector and by workplace. Sometimes it’s really easy to do, therefore it should absolutely be available to all.

In other places there are impacts on others. It’s seems crazy to argue against this. To say anyone who, for very specific reasons, feels their working day is impacted by others leaving in the afternoon must be a man or anti woman😂. But above all else they must be silenced. Because their option or experience cannot be valid.

Surely this discussion should lend itself to understanding why, in some specific circumstances, parents leaving the workplace mid afternoon can cause an issue? Just sometimes?

Or is forbidden for anyone to have a personal respective which is different to your own? Can you only have a discussion in an echo chamber? If you won’t talk to anyone who has a different opinion you aren’t debating - you are lecturing.

I'm increasingly worried by how frequently the default on supposedly 'liberal' sites is that alternative viewpoints should be ignored.

And I do work in an office, and I am a woman.

Not all jobs in an office and that require your daughter to have qualifications will give your daughter the full flexibility that you are talking about.

I am educated to masters level. I have a job (which granted I chose and love), which requires long hours and travel. Meetings are often back to back and it would be very difficult for me to commit
to a school run every day. I could maybe swing it on a Friday - but not always. It’s the travel that’s the killer - early flights and early trains. Not very family friendly.

If this level of flexibility is important to your daughter it would be worthwhile her talking to a range of people working in a range of professions to see what the real flexibility is like. Thinking of my friends, those in the more creative sectors and IT have the best flexibility. They can easily WFH every day and cover school runs and afternoon childcare. The money in IT is also amazing (if I had to do it again that’s wheeler I would go!). A job that is low stress is also important. Not something to big I thought about in my twenties when it was exciting but ultimately someone else’s head on the block!

One friend has her own business, and her flexibility is probably the worst! One is a lawyer and she has to rely on a lot of childcare.

but as I have said through this thread - workplaces are very, very different. She will need to go in with a clear view on what she wants and what she is willing to sacrifice.

Yes why suggest that posters should stop debating with 'the likes of..' purely because we disagree! There hasn't been any strops or foot stomping just very reasonable discussion.

All I have said is flexibility is fantastic - but the impact can vary by sector and by workplace. Sometimes it’s really easy to do, therefore it should absolutely be available to all.
[...]
Surely this discussion should lend itself to understanding why, in some specific circumstances, parents leaving the workplace mid afternoon can cause an issue? Just sometimes?

Yes, but apparently not in this circumstance, when the OP had had an agreement in place with her LM for the past 5 years.

This is like people arguing against WFH, just because it's impossible in certain sectors.