School run comments in work

[gocompare]

In a meeting last month I said I wasn't available for Monday meetings at 3:00. I could do any other time before or after.

The most senior person in the meeting said "that sounds like a school run" I didn't really confirm or deny what it was.

It was said in a meeting full of men I was the only female if it makes a difference and I just feel off about it and I can't work out why but I don't think he should of said it.

Am I just being over sensitive as I have form for this.

Surely not that unusual. This is how my company would operate too - flexible working means just that. Colleagues (including those more senior) are happy to accommodate other commitments - you’re adults and should be treated as such. If you get your work and hours done then no issue. Equally they know I’ll log on at 10pm if needed to finish stuff.

I am going to get some stick😂……

Firstly, a lot of work places will not let you WFH if you have children under 10 who are not being looked after by someone else.
Secondly, Am I not the only one who is concerned about children being minded by screens all the time?
My own children found my grandchildren’s concentration and temperament improved when they TV/ iPads were strictly rationed.

However, from my perspective (and we are all entitled to our opinions) it is a choice to have children.

I do believe workplace should be flexible, however it has to be fair on everyone. I shouldn’t have to work longer hours because a colleague has chosen to have children. I shouldn’t have to do the 8am meetings with very single time, unless I volunteer. I shouldn’t have to chair every afternoon meeting because it coincides with a school run.

When people talk about flexibility it is usually from their own perspective. I shouldn’t be called out for not being flexible because I don’t want to put in extra hours at unsociable time to accommodate colleagues whose domestic arrangements mean they aren’t available during working hours.

I do cover Christmas for colleagues with kids - I cover school holidays etc. so I am accommodating to a point.

Anyone who suggests that no fewer men than women do the school run obviously doesn't do the school run IMO!

In my DC's primary, there were never more than a handful of men waiting for their DC after school. The vast majority of parents picking up DC were women.

I would be very surprised if that's not the same in schools across the land.

If it was a problem, it wouldn’t happen. Performance reviews or complaints from people would pick out a problem. Sounds like it’s not a problem. For all I know, my GP does go and do the school run. I used to see doctors, lawyers, all sorts when I picked mine up from primary school. I don’t really know what you mean by organising themselves more effectively? Let’s hope you’re not discriminating against employing women of childbearing age because they might have children and you might not like it.

It's a shame that you are so inflexible with your team. In my team it's accepted that a work life balance is important so doing school run and getting back to your desk in 20 minutes is absolutely fine.

It means that women (because let's face it it's women who are mostly doing the school run) can work full time. This makes sure women can earn well, contribute into a pension scheme and go for promotion. It also helps to close the gender pay gap. All that for the sake of 20 minutes and being mindful of when meetings take place. It's really not hard to implement.

I find it astonishing that women on this thread don't and won't support other women in the workplace.

Don’t sweat comments like this OP some people just don’t understand flexible working and that many places function perfectly fine like this. I also do school run a few times a week, I also quite happily let people know when I can and can’t do meetings, as does everyone else in my team and wider department for whatever reason that might be, works fine for all of us.

I would have just said ‘yeah it is’ to his comment, these things aren’t shameful, you have an agreement in place, who cares what he thinks?

In my team someone doesn’t start till late because they go and see a counsellor. Someone has regular breaks to exercise because they have a bad back. I dare say if this wasn’t accommodated they’d both be off sick. I don’t mind and no one does, we work it out. They get to stay working rather than claiming benefits.

But a lot of places do and who are you to be telling them what their policies should be?

Maybe the op feels a bit embarrassed about the arrangement. If she didn't she'd say yep the school run.

'I find it astonishing that women on this thread don't and won't support other women in the workplace'

It's nothing to do with sex. I'd say the same if a man had an arrangement to nip out, do the school run every day then return to work meaning colleagues had to work around him.

Where did anyone say that the alternative to this 3pm meeting was in unsociable hours?

Yes, it was my choice to have children. I didn't exactly "choose" to have one with special needs though. I know my last post was a bit tangential to this thread, but it's where my head is at the moment. I just wanted to point out it doesn't always feel so cushy from this end (although of course I do hugely appreciate hybrid/flexible working, and the fact that I've been able to continue in my job because of it).

flexible arrangements don’t work everywhere, they do in my workplace and I’m not sure why I need to be ‘fair’ to someone who works somewhere else? By your logic we should all have six weeks off over summer because it’s not ‘fair’ that teachers do, whereas the reality is if I wanted that I would have to just become a teacher. If you want my level of flexibility you can go and do my degree and then work fifteen years in my industry and then like magic you can have it and suddenly it will be ‘fair’.

My terms and conditions and how flexibly I work doesn’t have to be ‘fair’ to anyone else .

Then you should have replied "No, that's my lunch hour" Because it is.

'My terms and conditions and how flexibly I work doesn’t have to be ‘fair’ to anyone else'

Do your colleagues agree?

Given they all have the same ones I would assume they do. Especially when they take time off to take elderly parents for appointment, go to the gym or play golf.

We don’t all work in jobs where people pick up each others work you know. I do my work, they do theirs, there is no covering, no phone answering, no picking up client emails. If I am not around the only person it affects is me. We don’t all work in the same types of jobs you know but on this thread no one can see past their own workplace.

I work in a male dominated industry so it’s men in my work place who aren’t available in mornings and afternoons. Who walk out of meetings at 3pm. Who aren’t available when something urgent pops up at 2:30pm that needs finished by 4pm.

This is very workplace specific. In some workplaces flexibility is really easy - and that is fantastic. But in some sectors it is harder, it’s more noticeable, and certain task need to be done urgently and at short notice. That is where the burden falls on those who aren’t nipping g out for an hour in the middle of the working day.

I have a friend who works across different time zones - she can work though the night if she wants and sleep all day and it doesn’t impact anyone. That’s brilliant for her lifestyle. I would get sacked😂

so I think a lot of people here are arguing about practice and consequences in very different circumstances

I need to bow out this thread. Being a working mum has saved my sanity and we need the money too. I have had jobs where I couldn’t pick the kids up from school and ones where I could. The option to do so really works for me, and if I’m happy then everyone benefits. My employers don’t mind. I’m sorry some of you don’t get the flexibility I do. OP I wish you well.

I was giving a specific example of a colleagues behavior.

my more general comment is, in my sector, it’s flat to the mat between say 8:30am and around 5:30pm. Constant emails, fires to put out, short notice meetings, sudden calls to travel across the city for meetings.

evenings tend to be about catching breath, reading though the less urgent emails and planning the next day.

if someone takes an hour out mid afternoon everyday, someone else has to pick up that slack. I have, on occasion, found that irritating.

it won’t be like that in every workplace.

'Especially when they take time off to take elderly parents for appointment, go to the gym or play golf.'

Taking time off isn't the issue, I'm familiar with requests for time off /A/L /carers leave etc. Surely, surely though it would be a problem if a colleague left at 3pm every day to go the gym and or to play golf and was unavailable for any meetings in that time?

Lots of people in my workplace have standing appointments at certain times, what part of flexible working don’t you get? I could finish at 3 every day for a week if I wanted as long as I picked up the time the following week - it’s honestly like arguing with bots on this thread - we all have different work places i. My place we run our own diaries, the people I mention are not using carers leave or annual leave they are working flexibly and arranging their own diaries the same as I do when I block out school run twice a week.

That’s all you need to say: it’s when I take my lunch hour.

What you do on your lunch hour is of no business to anyone at your work

If I need to do the school run my lunch hour starts at 3

Agree. Every organisation I have ever worked for has been like this.

if someone takes an hour out mid afternoon everyday, someone else has to pick up that slack

in your job maybe, no one picks up slack for me on mine I just work later to make up for my time off, I could take two hours off 3-5 and then work until 7 if I wanted (although tbh school run takes me 10 mins), the point I keep labouring on this thread is that not all workplaces are the same and you can’t judge everyone based on how your one works.

God reading these comments I’m so glad I work for the organisation that I do. Everything is super flexible. Some (v senior) people are carers for their OHs. The only rule is if you have regular away time pop it in the diary. I normally do a 1 hour walk every day, if it’s school run for me I put “lunch hour” from 3-4. I’d never even consider an organisation that didn’t offer this flexibility. Everyone works hard and it’s the most efficient high morale place I’ve ever worked

Maybe in other people’s jobs people have to “pick up the slack” whilst others are on their lunch hour - sounds understaffed to me!