School run comments in work

[gocompare]

In a meeting last month I said I wasn't available for Monday meetings at 3:00. I could do any other time before or after.

The most senior person in the meeting said "that sounds like a school run" I didn't really confirm or deny what it was.

It was said in a meeting full of men I was the only female if it makes a difference and I just feel off about it and I can't work out why but I don't think he should of said it.

Am I just being over sensitive as I have form for this.

I have kids and I haven't ever done the school run whilst at work. Never known colleagues do it either.

A 9yr old is capable of getting a bus or a taxi. It must cost the same petrol wise to leave work pick uo drop off then return to work.

Given you said it is informal the. It may be questionable to what extent it is allowed. It might be tolerated.

A lot of workplaces are addressing this issue formally and a lot aren’t. You should be mindful that for some people it’s not acceptable to not be available during core hours. And the informal arrangements are only tolerated because it doesn’t get in the way of business. In this case it did.

Our workplace stopped the informal discretionary arrangements. It didn’t want to deal with the complaints, from people complaining it was happening to people complaining about being challenged on it.

Honestly it doesn't annoy be it just baffles me. Other staff shouldn't have to work around school runs. One manager agreed it but this other manager clearly pointedly queried it.

There are buses, taxis and childcare for when parents are at work. I personally just think it is incredibly unfair on colleagues to nip off every day at 3pm. Yes people get lunch breaks but time wise they are usually workload dependant not set in stone every day.

God, this thread is depressing.

So many people desperate not to see the benefits to everyone of a working arrangement that makes everyone's lives easier.

Do they also complain about part time colleagues and other flexible arrangements?

The manager who questioned OP should take it up with HER manager, not get snippy with OP in front of her peers. That was incredibly unprofessional.

You are entitled to your POV and you would be able to manage your own workforce that way if you were a manager. Thankfully, many managers are more enlightened and recognise that flexible work patterns allow companies to retain valued staff.

You're not overthinking.

Obviously I wasn't there, but it sounds to me like it was sexist and belittling, the way he called you out in front of all other attendees, especially as you were the only woman there.

Would he have said the same to a man? I seriously doubt it.

Mention it to your boss and see what they think. And be glad this prick isn't your boss!

He may heck been frustrated. I find the school run thing frustrating.

meetings can’t be before 9:30 because of the school run - then there’s lunch - then afternoon school runs can be anytime from 2pm to 3:30pm. Leaving a very small window to actually have meetings.

Isn't the general consensus yr 3/4 so age 7/8 upwards. My hope is that some of these children will get to experience a bit of age appropriate freedom ideally with others the same age between 3 and 5pm while their parents WFH.

Flexibility works both ways and luckily many companies and organisations have woken up to this. Flexible working requests are now a legal right and certainly where I work there is much flexibility for all sorts of reasons, most of them not actually because of parental responsibilities. Colleagues travel and work often unsociable hours, they put in hours when needed and in return are able to work flexibly. The huge majority of senior managers not only support this but often utilise it themselves. Moving a meeting 30mins is no big deal in every single case I can think of. You have to move them for all sorts of reasons anyway and even then someone (usually the most senior) will be pulled into something last minute anyway.

There are always a few dissenting voices to corporate policy (I know one) who hates that people aren't in the office (er, there are no offices left) and doubtless think that those women and men who are bringing up kids and working are doing it all wrong. But I think and really hope they are a dying breed.

I don't understand your bafflement, unless you've only ever worked in places with very rigid set hours where you're regularly required to work through your (unpaid) lunch break.

'Do they also complain about part time colleagues and other flexible arrangements?'

Of course not many people work parttime amd I'd have no issue with someone working 10 til 2 if that's all they could commit to. It is the nipping off mid afternoon to do the school run on a daily basis then returning to work. So everyone else has to arrange things around one person's school run. It seems to be taking the mick a bit.

But do you not have to arrange meetings around people whose work pattern is 10-2, or who work 3 or 4 days a week in the same way?

But arranging meetings is ALWAYS about finding a date and time that everyone can do, and working around other commitments, including meetings with other colleagues, clients, etc.

I like to take Friday afternoons off (freelance) and I’m just never available for meetings then. No one cares, because we’re all just trying to work out a mutually convenient time.

Yes but that is of course acceptable as those are their working hours. It'd be like someone going to do their shopping every day at 3pm. It's taking flexi hours to the extreme. As a one off, if regular transport unavailable for some reason but not as a daily arrangement. Kids should use school transport or a taxi.

I think some managers don't think things through. What if the next member of staff requests school run time off, then the next. It doesn't seem a very effective way of running things.

If it makes you feel better my OH always picks up kids from school as many of his coworkers and they are all fine with it and it's normalised. Maybe don't take it as a negative maybe he also does school run who knows!

Spot on.

Thats quite different to a company with say four parents in the team who are all unavailable at various times between 2pm and 3:30pm each very day because of the school run.

There has to be a common sense approach to flexibility, and in my experience workers who don’t have children often get the raw end of the deal. We cover the early morning meetings, cover the afternoon meetings etc. I had a team member who I had to block after 9pm every evening because he worked ‘flexible hours’ to do childcare in the afternoon. He expected me to update him on everything he had missed and chat through his projects. At 9pm once the kids were in bed😂. It didn’t seem to occur to him that I had already put in a 12 hour day and was just sitting down to dinner and some mindless TV! Even when I explained this several times he insisted ‘we all needed to be flexible!’.

Whilst I think it is unacceptable to be doing school runs in the middle of the afternoon and people having to reschedule meetings because you have to pick your kids up, I don't agree OP should have been publicly called out for it.

Having said that if a member of my team was going missing at 3 o clock on a regular basis and it affected the meetings she should be at, I would be telling her she needed to make other arrangements. Of course the odd time is ok but as an ongoing thing, absolutely not. There is NO way on earth I would allow meetings to be dictated by one member's school run.

@Goodweekincoming but it had been agreed by the line manager, so not exactly sneaking out, was she? And no different to having to schedule a meeting around people's PT hours, other meetings, AL etc etc. Or are those unacceptable too?

From the sounds of it, the OPs working hours agreed with the manager are what they described though.

I know you don’t like it. I think it’s fine. Lots of people do the school run where I work. I think flexibility is a nice thing to offer especially if the salaries aren’t especially high. Childcare, taxis for children etc can really eat into your wages and it might not be worth working to some people.

I’m not sure a taxi is practical either. They might not take a child alone, the school might not allow it, and they might not have a car seat or a booster seat.

I just don't think it is an efficient or fair way of running things. Imagine if GP surgeries, shops, hospitals, petrol stations whatever all had this 3pm to 4pm unavailability. It wouldn't happen because it is unfair on customers and colleagues.

Flexi time should be surely regarding start and finish times not popping out every day at a specific time for an hour. For the school run. I'd want staff who could organise themselves a bit more effectively tbh.

@Bellyblueboy raw end of the deal?

I'm sorry, but the raw end of the deal for me feels like being trapped in a part time role, where circumstances dictate I have do the school run because after school club is not an option for one of my children. This means that not only can I not start thinking about upping my hours, as I might otherwise have been considering when my kids hit this age, but promotions seem a no go for the foreseeable, as the number of roles at the grade above which can be done PT during school hours is probably zilch. I would absolutely LOVE to have a regular 9-5 office day, when I don't need to think about this crap, but it's unlikely to happen any time soon...

I never mentioned anything about sneaking? I said going missing in that she is not available for a 3pm weekly meeting that is important because she is doing a school run. If I have taken someone on to work 9-5, I would expect them to take the same general lunch break as everyone else in my company and in all the other companies we deal with. Otherwise it doesn't work. It is NOT the same as AL as it is weekly and it is NOT the same as someone I took on part time because they are their given, expected hours that would be factored in to what way the company ran.
OP was very vague in how this was arranged with her line manager and seems to be something she just does and he turns a blind eye. If one of my employees told me she could not do weekly meetings at 3 pm every Monday which is part of the normal working day for everyone else because she had to pick her kids she would be told, in no uncertain terms, to make alternative arrangements.

Absolutely right to ask this, particularly if the rest of the working day is spent at home. You cannot have a child with you while you are working, it's piss taking.

Why didn’t you just say ‘yes I have an agreement in place with boss’. Either way you are allowed to do the school run so I don’t see the issue.