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Anyone else awake?

132 replies

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:07

Is so, why? I'm awake as my DH told me he wanted us to go our separate ways tonight and so I can't sleep. Have started a thread already so don't really want to bore everyone by going over it again.
Just wanted to chat.

OP posts:
Blueberrymuffin8 · 02/02/2025 03:32

PS V sorry about your situation. Did you see it coming?

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:36

Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:32

doesnt make sense! Thats ur husband father of ur children if there was no connection he wouldnt sleep with u. Its not over im sorry im not trying to win u round or mess with ur head but he might say that and men say alot of things its us women that over think and ur sat there feeling lost awake strsssing. But no signs for u? Stil affectionate etc…just doesnt make sense id leave him id go quiet shut hom
out show him
what its like to rele lose u and he will soon be back guarantee u. He wil be lost without u no doubt and sometimes men say these things without thinking surely theres signs for u leading up to it? Is he seeing someone else?

No one else. It's the end for sure. I have no illusions plus I can't think like that cos as u said it'll mess with my mind. Prob more of a loss for him in reality.

OP posts:
Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:38

Blueberrymuffin8 · 02/02/2025 03:31

I'm awake because I went to bed top early as I have Covid. Really peed off I can't find my headphones!

Try not to be annoyed about yr headphones, that'll just keep you awake for longer.
Sorry u have covid, that's shit but at least it's not a bad a strain as during lockdown (hopefully)

OP posts:
MyMyMySharona · 02/02/2025 03:39

Another mumsnetter awake here...

I'm so sorry that life as you knew it from now on will be much different to the life you imagined.

The only positive thing I can think of, is at least he's not keeping you hanging on to a dream.

You have the opportunity (in time to come) to put your best foot forward, and show him (but most of all yourself), that you are a level headed strong woman, and you'll use this unexpected turn of events to seek out maybe a new job, or a new qualification.

I of course can't know your circumstances, but for your own prides sake, please don't let him think that what he's decided will break you.
You bloody show what you're made of girl, and then when he wakes up to realise what he's thrown away, it'll be him that has the lifetime of regret.

Me? I had an awful blockage in my digestive system.

I have taken slippery elm in appropriate doses, and tonight I feel so much better.

I'm sleepy, but I've nodded off sporadically throughout the day, so I'm not quite ready for the dream express train.

Do you have dc op?
I do know that makes it harder.
It did for me when my marriage went down the pan a million years ago.

Even tho it was difficult, my dc was happier (actually slept through the nights) with one happy parent, than having two parents that are not.

As much as you think you can hide it from the kids, they kinda "know" something is wrong.

I knew it with my parents, and it's an awful burden for a dc to carry, as from experience, I sensed an awful lot, and tho I was young (pre-teen) I begged my dm to leave.

It probably feels like your whole world has been turned on it's head, and if you're not yet upset, it might be because you're numb with shock and cannot process it all.

I'll bet it's not bothering him, and he's snoring his shitty little head off.

Sending you strength, and positivity.

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:39

Blueberrymuffin8 · 02/02/2025 03:32

PS V sorry about your situation. Did you see it coming?

Not really as things to be going well after a bad patch.

OP posts:
Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:40

i know someone that went through this..if u hve been married many years things change. I know someone who broke up moved out but ended up going back. Its a mental thing they go through marriage changes over the years ur lucky u still have the intimacy alot of ppl lose it

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:42

MyMyMySharona · 02/02/2025 03:39

Another mumsnetter awake here...

I'm so sorry that life as you knew it from now on will be much different to the life you imagined.

The only positive thing I can think of, is at least he's not keeping you hanging on to a dream.

You have the opportunity (in time to come) to put your best foot forward, and show him (but most of all yourself), that you are a level headed strong woman, and you'll use this unexpected turn of events to seek out maybe a new job, or a new qualification.

I of course can't know your circumstances, but for your own prides sake, please don't let him think that what he's decided will break you.
You bloody show what you're made of girl, and then when he wakes up to realise what he's thrown away, it'll be him that has the lifetime of regret.

Me? I had an awful blockage in my digestive system.

I have taken slippery elm in appropriate doses, and tonight I feel so much better.

I'm sleepy, but I've nodded off sporadically throughout the day, so I'm not quite ready for the dream express train.

Do you have dc op?
I do know that makes it harder.
It did for me when my marriage went down the pan a million years ago.

Even tho it was difficult, my dc was happier (actually slept through the nights) with one happy parent, than having two parents that are not.

As much as you think you can hide it from the kids, they kinda "know" something is wrong.

I knew it with my parents, and it's an awful burden for a dc to carry, as from experience, I sensed an awful lot, and tho I was young (pre-teen) I begged my dm to leave.

It probably feels like your whole world has been turned on it's head, and if you're not yet upset, it might be because you're numb with shock and cannot process it all.

I'll bet it's not bothering him, and he's snoring his shitty little head off.

Sending you strength, and positivity.

He IS bloody snoring! Just made that noise as I read your text! He said he wouldn't be able to sleep and tbh he has been tossing and turning/ off to the toilet etc.

OP posts:
Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:45

MyMyMySharona
The blockage sounds painful. Glad it's easing. Slippery elm doesn't sound too tasty....
I recognise the song in your user name🙂

OP posts:
Rictasmorticia · 02/02/2025 03:48

It gives me an odd form of comfort to know that I am not alone. Thank goodness for MNet. I have found it is best to find something to occupy myself during bouts of insomnia rather than lay awake fretting. I play on internet, do online jigsaws and puzzles and read on line news papers. Just the soft bits no hard news as that is too depressing.

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:48

Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:40

i know someone that went through this..if u hve been married many years things change. I know someone who broke up moved out but ended up going back. Its a mental thing they go through marriage changes over the years ur lucky u still have the intimacy alot of ppl lose it

No he won't be back. He can be quite cold when he wants to be. I will say that he was understanding when he saw how upset I was and said he was sorry.
He's throwing a lot away. He doesn't like being alone and thinks people should be in couples ironically so think he will move on pretty quick which will a gut wrench for me.

OP posts:
Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:50

Rictasmorticia · 02/02/2025 03:48

It gives me an odd form of comfort to know that I am not alone. Thank goodness for MNet. I have found it is best to find something to occupy myself during bouts of insomnia rather than lay awake fretting. I play on internet, do online jigsaws and puzzles and read on line news papers. Just the soft bits no hard news as that is too depressing.

Have you suffered with it all your life? How do you manage to stay awake during the day? Or are u someone that can manage on a few hours sleep?

OP posts:
Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:51

If he can go cold with u and your sat there feeling like thismaybe its for the best. Us women give everything ur a wife a mom your role has been to look after them. Now its changing. But if he doesnt treat u right and has u feeling like this u deserve to be happy. U have ur kids and he will learn in time. But u have to let it run its course let him go. And be strong. Respect urself ur family uv done nothing wrong. So u deserve more. Trust in urself ur not a bad person and u deserve someone who cares about ur feelings.

Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:52

To be honest if hes like that and having sex with u id question whether i trusted him!!!! People dont just shut off like that for no reason theres a reason…u will soon find out

MyMyMySharona · 02/02/2025 03:53

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:45

MyMyMySharona
The blockage sounds painful. Glad it's easing. Slippery elm doesn't sound too tasty....
I recognise the song in your user name🙂

Slippery elm isn't tasteless, but it's bland enough to mix into a hot smoothie.

I also stir it into foods like baked beans, or a casserole, or porridge for example.

Before my other half discovered it for me by researching, I'd had six weeks of utter pain, and X-rays showed a blockage.
Dr wanted to stick a camera down my throat, and I hated the risks that carries.

So for me slippery elm not only rescued me from pain, but enabled me to be able to cancel the tube thing by the time I was called up for it.

Yeah! Great tune tho I can't remember the group just now.

You take care, and update us all later on, to let us know how you're doing.
Make us proud of you 🥰

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:53

Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:51

If he can go cold with u and your sat there feeling like thismaybe its for the best. Us women give everything ur a wife a mom your role has been to look after them. Now its changing. But if he doesnt treat u right and has u feeling like this u deserve to be happy. U have ur kids and he will learn in time. But u have to let it run its course let him go. And be strong. Respect urself ur family uv done nothing wrong. So u deserve more. Trust in urself ur not a bad person and u deserve someone who cares about ur feelings.

Thank you. Yes I do. Better than being with someone who doesn't value you. Might as well be on your own anyway.

OP posts:
Dontneedthedramaimtooold · 02/02/2025 03:55

When your adult (23)son makes you feel awful because his little brother had a can of pop and a snack but his GF got angry despite the same little brother giving up his bedroom whenever they come to visit

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:57

Dontneedthedramaimtooold · 02/02/2025 03:55

When your adult (23)son makes you feel awful because his little brother had a can of pop and a snack but his GF got angry despite the same little brother giving up his bedroom whenever they come to visit

That's not good. Sounds a bit precious to me. How old is she?

OP posts:
Dontneedthedramaimtooold · 02/02/2025 03:58

She’s just 24! It’s their first home but I’ve never felt so unwelcome or embarrassed

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:58

Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:52

To be honest if hes like that and having sex with u id question whether i trusted him!!!! People dont just shut off like that for no reason theres a reason…u will soon find out

He didn't go cold when he saw how upset I was but he can do at times.

OP posts:
Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:59

Its still hard your married and hes gone back on that. But remember this is his choice not yours and u deserve to feel wanted and cared for like i imagine u have for him. I mean is he still there with u now? In the house? If so its pretty messed up if u ask me. But see how it goes just dont let him take the P. My mom and dad went through this and my mom was left feeling like a shell. They got back together not the same. Relationships a mess they live together for company but the relarionship is horible to be around! But the hard thing is as they were married for many years 30 plus! U dont just get to move on its hard. So yes unless they find someone else or move on they usually come back to what they know! Im not sure ur ages or how long uv been married. Maybe u both can move on or not? Lots to think about and im sorry u are going through it. Makes me question marriage to be honest with u not the same as it used to be back in the day! People stay together no matter what

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 04:02

MyMyMySharona · 02/02/2025 03:53

Slippery elm isn't tasteless, but it's bland enough to mix into a hot smoothie.

I also stir it into foods like baked beans, or a casserole, or porridge for example.

Before my other half discovered it for me by researching, I'd had six weeks of utter pain, and X-rays showed a blockage.
Dr wanted to stick a camera down my throat, and I hated the risks that carries.

So for me slippery elm not only rescued me from pain, but enabled me to be able to cancel the tube thing by the time I was called up for it.

Yeah! Great tune tho I can't remember the group just now.

You take care, and update us all later on, to let us know how you're doing.
Make us proud of you 🥰

Thank you. I will. I'm just going to be strong and bad ass although I'm not feeling it at the moment.
Glad the slippery elm has done the trick.

OP posts:
Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 04:05

Hearmeout2023 · 02/02/2025 03:59

Its still hard your married and hes gone back on that. But remember this is his choice not yours and u deserve to feel wanted and cared for like i imagine u have for him. I mean is he still there with u now? In the house? If so its pretty messed up if u ask me. But see how it goes just dont let him take the P. My mom and dad went through this and my mom was left feeling like a shell. They got back together not the same. Relationships a mess they live together for company but the relarionship is horible to be around! But the hard thing is as they were married for many years 30 plus! U dont just get to move on its hard. So yes unless they find someone else or move on they usually come back to what they know! Im not sure ur ages or how long uv been married. Maybe u both can move on or not? Lots to think about and im sorry u are going through it. Makes me question marriage to be honest with u not the same as it used to be back in the day! People stay together no matter what

Yes people did stay together no matter what. You're right but sometimes because they didn't have a choice I spoke or because it wasn't seen to be the right thing to do.

OP posts:
SaltyPig · 02/02/2025 04:05

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:13

I couldn't manage toast tbh. I'm just managing to keep water down at this stage. Found out about 5 hours ago.
Why are u awake at this unearthly hour?😊

Good old fashioned insomnia. I just went for a milky drink. How rock and roll!
Please try, little and often, even a biscuit.
I read your thread earlier.
MN is known for vipers but comes into its own at times like this. Keep typing and take the advice, even if it's just to keep your mind busy. x

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 04:06

Dontneedthedramaimtooold · 02/02/2025 03:58

She’s just 24! It’s their first home but I’ve never felt so unwelcome or embarrassed

  1. That's quite immature behaviour. Not nice to be made to feel unwelcome. Do you get on OK with her?
OP posts:
oakleaffy · 02/02/2025 04:09

Ironironiron · 02/02/2025 03:13

I couldn't manage toast tbh. I'm just managing to keep water down at this stage. Found out about 5 hours ago.
Why are u awake at this unearthly hour?😊

What a little Pschitt.
Cherchez la femme, @Ironironiron

Guaranteed despite fervent denials to there contrary there WILL be another woman.
Men just don't leave a marriage unless there is another woman.

What an arse.

So sorry.

You will get through it though.