Mobile phones used on buses

[mustgetoffmn]

I’ve just lost it. I boarded a bus which was empty upstairs I had a lot of shopping and took the front seat it was a 50 minute journey. A woman got on and took the other free front seat took her phone out lodged it in between her ear and shoulder and settled into a chat. She was speaking continuously. I thought annoying but hopefully she would get off soon or end the call. She didn’t. After half an hour I decided to play some music without phones to drown her out . Passive aggressive but I was pretty wound up by then. She paused and asked me to turn the music off. I replied that her call was antisocial in a public place. It turned into a big row with a man behind calling me a Karen (of course) and telling me she had the right and I should have just moved. In the end I just moved downstairs. He was pretty nasty possibly drunk. Am I being unreasonable and should have just moved? I’m on public transport a lot and the antisocial behaviour is getting to me.

Totally agree YANBU mobile phones and/or lack of consideration of fellow passengers has made bus journeys so much worse, especially the last few years with people having conversations on speaker. Public transport is better for environment / traffic congestion etc, but people having loud and long phone conversations is antisocial and selfish and I’m sure makes people want to use their cars instead.

Are you forgetting you started playing music? Are you not even mildly sorry or embarrassed about this?

I’ll put it another way - I wasn’t talking about legalities. You don’t have a moral right to go about your day expecting everyone else around you to adhere to your specific wishes. You want peace, other people want to chat. Why do you win?

If talking on buses bothers you why don’t you get headphones and listen to a podcast or music? Seems like a simple solution that pleases everyone

Yes exactly

I just want a bit of peace

It's even like this when you are in M&S browsing clothes with some idiot face timing walking around the store. Just why

Don't you get it? OP only started playing music so the woman would maybe realise she could be more considerate.
Why is it ok for that woman to have a loud conversation but not for OP to play loud music?
Why? What's the difference?

I rarely use public transport but from what I can see people just scroll the internet and only the truly inconsiderate like yourself play loud music.

You don’t need WiFi to make a phone call or play music anyway. Bus companies need an incentive for people to travel. Wi-Fi is a huge incentive

If you want peace then use a car or get headphones yourself?

Ive FaceTimed in a shop with my DD to check if she likes an item of clothing before I buy it. I couldn’t imagine (or care) anyone getting upset over it

Why couldn’t she use her words though? I can’t be doing with PA people

There’s a huge difference between chatting and playing music.

Like I say it blows my mind that people expect silence on buses. However do they cope when people sit together chatting?

PLEASE READ the post. I was NOT playing music. I used it out of anger for about 5 minutes if that. In my post I acknowledged it to be passive aggressive and a result of flipping after being bombarded by a one way conversation for at least half hour and no sign of stopping. I got on first - woman chose to sit next to me and start this phone call. The WHOLE deck was empty at that point. That’s also passive aggressive. I put up with it for half an hour non stop. I could have moved but it wasn’t easy to do so. I had a lot of heavy shopping and would have had to struggle downstairs. It’s not about legality or Morality!!! It’s simple social awareness and consideration she didn’t seem to be aware that there was anyone other than herself on the bus.

Kids vaping on buses, that annoys me more.

Are you incapable of speaking? Why didn’t you just politely ask her to move/stop/quieten down?

You can’t get yourself all worked up and then blow up at someone because you were unable to speak up.

Eh? How come in your OP you say After half an hour I decided to play some music

So did you or didn’t you start playing music.

So what if you got on first. There isn’t a pecking order on the bus.

Look, anyone has the right to ask someone to stop doing something annoying. And they in turn have a right to say no. If you’d said “I asked her to keep her voice down” that would be different. Why didn’t you just do that?

Also, buy some headphones. I listen to audiobooks and podcasts in public with my headphones and it makes dull/long journeys out a lot more fun.

Now I do think any vaping from anyone is anti-social. And usually illegal. I always politely point out they aren’t allowed to vape. My son plays county level football, plays games to be taken semi seriously and parents vape by the pitch side!

@JandamiHash

Why should I need to wear headphones

Why can't you be more considerate of those around you in public places.

If you hate innocuous noise of the public why wouldn’t you want to drown it out? Also theyre headphones, not thumb screws, most people use them, they are fun.

Im not inconsiderate. If people are so sensitive that me having a 30 second “Do you like this top? It has pockets!” Conversation in a busy shop upsets them they maybe need to get a grip. Or get therapy. Or stay indoors.

How do you cope with people having chats with each other?

I completely agree. It should be on the person whose phone the noise is coming out of that use headphones not the people around them who have to put up with it. They aren’t creating the noise.

What's the difference between subjecting people to your loud conversation and playing loud music though? You can't say, can you? You stating there is a difference doesn't make it so.

Why should OP 'use her words'? She can be as PA as she wants with the other PA person, the onus is not on OP.

You also don't know the difference between complete silence and having a conversation/ face time and still being considerate towards others sharing the same space. All a little too subtle for you, right? 😂

@JandamiHash

Yes 30 seconds is fair enough on FT but the endless monologues some people have I find irritating

I hate headphones as they never stay in my ears and I like to be aware of my surroundings

Oh I always use headphones when FaceTiming DD, I have them in when shopping alone anyway. So her voice can’t be heard but mine can.

I don't mind chats at all

@JandamiHash has entered the conversation and her mind is boggling at the thought that not everyone in the whole world isn't just exactly like her 😂

Because the sounds of talking, which we ALL do, is different to incessant music. Would you a rather a neighbour who talks lots of plays loud music lots?

Why should OP 'use her words'?

Because shes a grown up? Toddlers know to sue their words FFS. If you have a problem with someone use that big wet thing that’s in your mouth and speak up. Imagine if everyone only ever did what OP does.

You also don't know the difference between complete silence and having a conversation/ face time and still being considerate towards others sharing the same space. All a little too subtle for you, right? 😂

Personally I think it’s inconsiderate for people to expect silence around them at all times. Seriously how do you cope in public?! And who do you think you are that you believe everyone around you should pander to your preferences, why do you win?

I have big silly noise cancelling ones as my ear holes (don’t know the medical term) are inexplicably big and I had the same problems with ear phones falling out 😂

So what’s the problem with the situation in the OP?

Says the person who thinks she should go through life with everyone around her being silence like some middle class Toast wearing dictator 😂

Please read the post. After half an hour of her monologue I flipped and turned music on for about 2 minutes to get her attention. It worked - she turned to me angrily because her conversation was being disturbed. She was outraged about this! I chose to do this rather than speak because I knew how that would go!