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Original poster

Mobile phones used on buses

197 replies

mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 14:45

I’ve just lost it. I boarded a bus which was empty upstairs I had a lot of shopping and took the front seat it was a 50 minute journey. A woman got on and took the other free front seat took her phone out lodged it in between her ear and shoulder and settled into a chat. She was speaking continuously. I thought annoying but hopefully she would get off soon or end the call. She didn’t. After half an hour I decided to play some music without phones to drown her out . Passive aggressive but I was pretty wound up by then. She paused and asked me to turn the music off. I replied that her call was antisocial in a public place. It turned into a big row with a man behind calling me a Karen (of course) and telling me she had the right and I should have just moved. In the end I just moved downstairs. He was pretty nasty possibly drunk. Am I being unreasonable and should have just moved? I’m on public transport a lot and the antisocial behaviour is getting to me.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 31/01/2025 19:22

mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:19

Re mobiles on buses this is recognised as disturbing on trains which is why you have a choice of a silent carriage

Silent carriage also stipulates to keep conversation noise between passengers to a minimum too.
I have never heard of a silent section on a bus. It is just not possible.

Original poster
mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:24

I played music for a matter of minutes to alert her to the nuisance. She had settled in for the whole long ride with phone positioned between shoulder and ear. It’s completely different overhearing a normal 2 way conversation.

OP posts:
71622025B · 31/01/2025 19:28

People having conversations on the phone died not nother me its a way of life now . What does bother me is when people talk /should very loudly on the phone. And I can't hear my own call.

It does seem a bit odd that you were fed up with her talking so put music on loud speaker which meant you were also now making noise which meant you were really doing the same as her but in a different form.

It also may have been her only time she could have that call before getting home to a busy house hold or simlar

XenoBitch · 31/01/2025 19:29

Again, how is it different to her talking to a friend on on the bus? People are allowed to talk on public transport, either on the phone, or with the person next to them.
The issue might be she was OTT loud. If she was, then YANBU, but it sounds like you were just irritated by the fact she was speaking at all. Your age and the fact you had shopping with you are not relevant.

suburburban · 31/01/2025 19:34

mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:15

I’m 70 and had a lot of shopping. I don’t normally react but it had gone on for half an hour with no pause. The point is that BECAUSE it’s a public space you don’t behave antisocially. Try doing this in New York you get told off immediately. Being on public transport should feel peaceful. Two people having a normal conversation is just not so disturbing and also not generally so invasive. Also not a constant monologue with no apparent break in sight I didn’t move because I would have had to struggle down the stairs with my shopping. I was there first as it happens. The woman could have sat at the back where there were a lot of empty seats. One way speaking into a mobile for a long time is inconsiderate of those around them. Also she thought it was fine to ask me to turn the music down without thinking about what she was subjecting fellow passengers to herself. I would never play music without head phones I did it to make the point for 5 minutes. I remember the days you could just look out of the window and contemplate the passing scenery

Yes it's so annoying and selfish

Yanbu

doodahdayy · 31/01/2025 19:36

Sounds a bit melodramatic. Unless she had the call on speakerphone I don't see the problem. The music would have been irritating. You can't control others on public transport

Original poster
mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:36

Whoarethoseguys · 31/01/2025 15:06

I don't see how a phone conversations is any more distractng than two people having a conversation on a bus.
I don't like to hear music though.

Yes you would think so but there is something about a very long monologue.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 31/01/2025 19:38

mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:36

Yes you would think so but there is something about a very long monologue.

Show quote history

Is it because you want to hear the other side of the convo? It is none of your business.
Earbuds/headphones work great. Get some.

ADifferentSong · 31/01/2025 19:38

I would have moved. Phone convos seem to be accepted behaviour on the buses now, not that I understand why anyone would want to have a long one on the bus and I do find it quite stressful being in the vicinity of anyone having one of these.
When it comes to any other kind of noise emitting from somebody’s mobile, I ask them to put their earbuds in. Most people take the hint.

Original poster
mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:41

I agree re my age and shopping but I put this in because I was being told I should move. From my point of view the woman could have sat in one of the many empty seats at the back.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 31/01/2025 19:41

ADifferentSong · 31/01/2025 19:38

I would have moved. Phone convos seem to be accepted behaviour on the buses now, not that I understand why anyone would want to have a long one on the bus and I do find it quite stressful being in the vicinity of anyone having one of these.
When it comes to any other kind of noise emitting from somebody’s mobile, I ask them to put their earbuds in. Most people take the hint.

I talk on the phone on trains because I am an anxious mess, and need to talk to someone to get me through it.

Again, how is it different to a people talking in person? Because it sounds like people take issue because they can only hear one side of the conversation... which means they are being nosy... and being nosy is not a reason to stop people using their phone. Distract yourself. I use a phone convo to distract myself.

Tisthedamnseason · 31/01/2025 19:41

I don't think this is an issue, and your attempt to get her to stop by playing music out loud was definitely worse

Whoarethoseguys · 31/01/2025 19:54

mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 19:24

I played music for a matter of minutes to alert her to the nuisance. She had settled in for the whole long ride with phone positioned between shoulder and ear. It’s completely different overhearing a normal 2 way conversation.

I don't understand this. I travel by bus a lot and often overhear people having conversations sometimes they talk very loudly and you can't help but her what they are saying. But I wouldn't dream of telling them to be quiet
I don't find someone talking on the phone anymore distracting than two people taking.

Futurename · 31/01/2025 19:54

Would you have tried to drown out a couple having a conversation on a bus? Buses are generally full of chatter and noise. if you don't like it than tough.That's life.

I'm not going to sit in silence because some misery guts doesn't like hearing people talk,

buffyajp · 31/01/2025 19:55

StMarie4me · 31/01/2025 16:24

Well I've just had to take an important call on a coach. I kept it short. I informed the caller that I was on a coach. I have earbuds in. But I had been waiting for this call abc could hit kids it especially as it's the weekend.
Sometimes it's unavoidable, but I agree that she (and he) were very rude.

Playing music without headphones in is far ruder and more anti social regardless of the reason. I sometimes take calls when on the bus but I speak in a normal tone and certainly won’t apologise for it. I don’t need the permission of other passengers to answer my phone.

BollingenTower · 31/01/2025 19:58

I'm just wondering why people insist on having their conversations at full volume, making sure that absolutely everyone in the carriage/bus hear every word? That's not normal. Have your conversation but also consider people around you.

Original poster
mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 20:03

Tisthedamnseason · 31/01/2025 19:41

I don't think this is an issue, and your attempt to get her to stop by playing music out loud was definitely worse

Yes as I acknowledged in my original post it was a point of frustration. No nothing to do with being nosy about a two way response. It’s very irritating to have a monologue going on next to you. When two people are having a conversation they tend to take a break and listen to each other. Or take a breath.

OP posts:
suburburban · 31/01/2025 20:08

BollingenTower · 31/01/2025 19:58

I'm just wondering why people insist on having their conversations at full volume, making sure that absolutely everyone in the carriage/bus hear every word? That's not normal. Have your conversation but also consider people around you.

Yes just make a quick call or text instead

Are people not able to be considerate of others any more

Original poster
mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 20:12

buffyajp · 31/01/2025 19:55

Playing music without headphones in is far ruder and more anti social regardless of the reason. I sometimes take calls when on the bus but I speak in a normal tone and certainly won’t apologise for it. I don’t need the permission of other passengers to answer my phone.

Show quote history

This woman wasn’t merely answering her phone. Yes if I get a call in public I answer it briefly and, as many people do, say something then point out that I’m on a bus and will ring back later. This call was the sort you should have at home. A full catch up. She literally got in position with her phone and started the conversation as soon as she sat down. If everyone used the bus as the place to have a full hour chat it would feel pretty alienating.

OP posts:
XenoBitch · 31/01/2025 20:16

mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 20:12

This woman wasn’t merely answering her phone. Yes if I get a call in public I answer it briefly and, as many people do, say something then point out that I’m on a bus and will ring back later. This call was the sort you should have at home. A full catch up. She literally got in position with her phone and started the conversation as soon as she sat down. If everyone used the bus as the place to have a full hour chat it would feel pretty alienating.

Show quote history

Maybe her time on the bus was the only time she had for a chat.

Original poster
mustgetoffmn · 31/01/2025 20:17

suburburban · 31/01/2025 20:08

Yes just make a quick call or text instead

Are people not able to be considerate of others any more

Show quote history

Thank you. My point exactly. People seem to feel their behaviour in public doesn’t affect anyone around them behaving as though they live in a vacuum. It’s simply social alienation.

OP posts:
suburburban · 31/01/2025 20:18

I find it incredibly irritating tbh

suburburban · 31/01/2025 20:19

I wa in hospital trying to rest after an OP and the woman in next bed was similar

Womanofcustard · 31/01/2025 20:20

ExitPursuedByABare · 31/01/2025 15:23

I see your bus and raise you a hospital ward. At 2am.

I see your bus and hospital ward at 2am, and raise you a hospital ward at 3am!

Completelyjo · 31/01/2025 20:22

Playing music out loud from your phone was by far more antisocial than a phone call!
People are allowed to take phonecalls or chat on buses.
If you want a silent journey take a private taxi.