Funniest thing your child has said?

[Snartie]

Inspired by comments on a video I seen on TikTok which had me in stitches, what is the funniest thing your child has ever said?

I’ve had a rubbish day and neee cheering up!

Some favourites of mine from the video in question are;

• My daughter at the time was 3 or 4. She was crying & just making the ugly crying face. I told her “stop making that face or it’ll stay stuck like that” she said “is that what happened 2 u?”

• my sister was in the 2nd grade and I picked her up from school and asked her how her day was and she told me “i don’t have time for your curiosity” i was appalled

When my niece was about 7, I asked her what she wanted to be when she grows up.She replied, "A penis" being only 16 myself at the time, I was shocked and told her she couldn't be a penis.She insisted she could.I asked her why she wanted to be a penis.she said;" Because I like playing the piano".

“You know how mountains are made mammy? You get some hills and you put curry on them”

After watching sonic 3

“I haven’t got shoes like shadow and I don’t feel right. I feel wrong. Like my life is wrong”

Hes so dramatic and I love it! This is an amazing age (almost 6)

When he was just gone 3 he liked to calls his poops “big turds or baby turds” dependant on how big they were. He was very turd curious 😂😂

When DD was new to being a big sister she said "ahh it must be nice being a baby, not a care in the world.. just sleeping and eating. But, I've done that and now I'm grown. Hakuna Matata."

It was quite wise for her 6 year old self but the Hakuna Matata had me weak

Conversation between me, my Muslim friend and her daughter (aged 4) about the different names for God. I was saying that God has different names for different people, and giving some examples, and then asked her what Muslim people call God. She thought about it for a moment then assertively stated "Alan"! She has never lived it down and she got married last year!

DS was about eight and watching a James Bond film with his brother. He said " I really want to BE James Bond!!" His brother said "Yes, but you'd have to kiss a lady!" DS frowned for a second, then said "No, I would get a stunt man for that."

kids are great for stuff like this

when my eldest was small we took her to the zoo. Her dad pointed to a pelican and said look Julia its a pelican and in a very serious tone she replied no daddy that's a duck =p

Because he wasn't allowed to have a chocolate bar for breakfast one morning (random request seeing as we don't buy them??) DS age 6 announced he was leaving home and never coming back.
He stormed off to his room, I followed and asked would he like help to pack.
He rammed all sorts of crap into a back pack and marched out the front door, while I waved him off telling him "Love you, be careful out there".
We have a long drive way, I watched him get about half way down, stamp his feet and turn back. Rang the bell, I answered and was met with a face of pure rage as he announced
You know I'm not allowed to cross the road by myself

Grandson (aged 4) in upstairs toilet - shouts down to my daughter "sorry mummy but I've done a "splashy pee" ".
Anyone new he meets, asks his name - introduces himself as "Batman". Every time.