Inconsequential things people say that ^really^ disproportionately and irrationally piss you off.

[JanetSaysYouGotTidyHair]

My mum jokingly calls me a "tight arse" and it really, really makes me want to throw things. I'm not a tight arse. I love Iceland Food Warehouse. I love charity shops. I love Savers. I love vinted. I love a bargain. None of this makes me a tight arse.

Another one is concerning my home office which is in a converted outhouse in my garden. It make me absolutely murderous when people ask "Isn't it cold?" like I didn't employ a professional builder, didn't get it fully insulated, didn't get good heating installed.

Both of these things happened today. And my period unexpectedly arrived. I want to throw things and hurt people.

Tell me what other completely inane, inconsequential things people say that make you want to throw things and hurt people.

😂 I think they've been bugging my house.

Mine lectures me on healthy eating and carcinogenics and exercise form. I am at goal and fitter than ever after 2 years of quiet, hard work, he is at least 4 stone overweight. Really???

I am a really organised person. I have two children with a lot of appointments and things they need so kind of have to be. But anytime I’ve sorted anything someone will always sigh and say ‘you’re so organised’ in a tone that suggests it’s a bad thing. Drives me insane!

Absolutely this. My DD has OCD and it's fucking horrible. It's so misunderstood.

Yes!! He hoovered the other week (never does anything housework wise) while I was cleaning the bathroom..he said I've hoovered for you. I replied I've cleaned the bathroom for you (sarcasm).wouldn't mind, but we live in a 1 bed flat, so hardly any hoovering, as carpet I'd only in the bedroom and hallway 😆

@Dandylione My DH does exactly the same, especially the juice at the side of the chair! Bloody hell man, I've drunk some out of that exact bottle while you've been sat here, if you didn't have your eyes glued to some crap on the TV, you'd have seen that! He makes it sound like the bottle has been lingering there for weeks and I've been blind to it! Drives me mad! 🤣

I so recognise this.
Moreover, my husband just can't trust me to figure something out for myself.
He drives my car, he has to remind me he adjusted the seat. Like I'd drive off with my feet not reaching the pedals.
It's bin day, let me remind you not to drive into the bins in clear sight at the edge of the kerb.
I have many examples.

Oooo I have this but he tells me he’s done a job ‘for you’…so I get ‘I’ve wiped the kitchen down for you’…no love, you’ve wiped the kitchen down, congratulations, and I think you’ll find it’s for us all, as last time I checked I do believe that we all use said kitchen!! Arghhh!!

Can I add "joint the club".

Please no? Isn't that nice, it's YOUR kitchen.

The word 'Enjoy!' used like an instruction, when you've either just sat down to dinner or have announced plans to go somewhere.

Also, a description of something mundane like sitting down with a cup of tea and watching bake off followed by 'Bliss!'

Mine are -
DH: I've had an idea, do you fancy going out for dinner tonight, saves you having to cook?
Me: Ooh lovely, where to?
DH: You choose...
Can you just once decide, then take me?! It's every bloody time!
And if I mention a little conundrum I have, eg maybe working out what I need to do the following day and in what order that would be more practical (usually I say it out loud to get it right in my own mind!) he will say "I seriously suggest..."
What does that even mean?! I'm working out what my list of errands are and which way round to do them, not deciding to put a controversial bill in place via the house of commons!
And I'm with all the ones who have mentioned their husbands wanting praise for doing something!
I've washed up... Yes, I know, you asked me if I had anything to wash!
I've done the vaccing upstairs... Yes, I heard you banging around and effing and jeffing at the vac. (Every vac we've ever had, even the ones he's chosen, have been chastised for one thing or another! I have literally no idea what his idea of the perfect one is!)

For anyone who’s ever served on a committee, the words ‘someone/ somebody’.

Invariably committee members with big ideas never actually have time to do anything. Comments like ‘somebody needs to e-mail everyone’, ‘we need someone to organise that’ used to make my blood boil. my friend actually started responding with ‘There’s nobody in this meeting called ‘somebody’ - are you offering to do it yourself?’

Along with ‘oh, I’m so busy’. Gosh, really? Unlike the rest of us, then.

My parents are from Yorkshire. I am not - I was born and raised in Hampshire. It really gets my goat when people say "Oh yes, you're from oop North" in a crap Yorkshire accent. I will definitely stab one of them with a fork soon....

I use this for people who previously judged/never believed it would be them/looked down their noses and suddenly realise oh wait Costa knows all about this, let’s ask for all her previously overlooked knowledge

Do you reply sarcastically ‘what do you want, a bloody medal?’ He might soon stop then!

Me too

DH has been on gardening leave for the past 2 months (he started his new job today 🎉). Every day he’d ask me if I’d had a good day and if not, it would be, “at least you have a job (sad face)” and if it was a good day, it would be, “alright for some!”

FFS, it’s not like I want to go to work!

He also has a habit of saying words wrong or emphasising the wrong part on purpose, such as bag-u-ette 😡.

People who say "I'll let that percolate for a moment", as if their audience does not possess the intellectual capacity to keep up with them. Arrogant pricks.

”I must admit” before something totally Uncontroversial is announced that did not require any sort of public confession or build up whatsoever.

My Mum does this. I often say “why must you admit it” because it winds me up.

When random blokes tell you to "smile" or "cheer up love, it might never happen"...

DS is 2 and non verbal. I feel murderous when people say “but he’s only a baby” or “my neighbour’s dog walker’s hairdresser’s child didn’t talk til they were 5 and now look at them” if he was 2 and didn’t walk would they roll their eyes that I’m trying to get him help?

I say that to my partner, at least you have a job, as I've been actively searching for 6 months after being made redundant..

Oh Bless, as though you are a cute halfwit . Said by NHS staff, doctor's receptionists and others when you are explaining something. Never said by consultants or senior staff who treat you with respect.

When people say, “Might I suggest that…” (usually when they’re trying to show off their superior knowledge about something). I’m so tempted to say no, or just tell them to either suggest it, not suggest it or fuck off.