Inconsequential things people say that ^really^ disproportionately and irrationally piss you off.

[JanetSaysYouGotTidyHair]

My mum jokingly calls me a "tight arse" and it really, really makes me want to throw things. I'm not a tight arse. I love Iceland Food Warehouse. I love charity shops. I love Savers. I love vinted. I love a bargain. None of this makes me a tight arse.

Another one is concerning my home office which is in a converted outhouse in my garden. It make me absolutely murderous when people ask "Isn't it cold?" like I didn't employ a professional builder, didn't get it fully insulated, didn't get good heating installed.

Both of these things happened today. And my period unexpectedly arrived. I want to throw things and hurt people.

Tell me what other completely inane, inconsequential things people say that make you want to throw things and hurt people.

Oh another one, I'm on a roll now.

Saying 'oh it's my OCD that makes me want to have XYZ a certain way'

'No Dave, it's not OCD at all, you just like to have your cutely draw tidy, OCD is a mental health disorder not a fucking personality trait, and it has nothing to do with liking a clean bathroom'

Oh, something I’ve seen a lot lately is someone posting something (to be fair mainly elsewhere, rather than MN) and adding ‘let that sink in for a minute’.

Fuck me, the absolute sanctimony and smugness of that winds me up way more than it probably should.

Basically is mine

'Basically you should fix it like this'

No Dave it's not 'basic' if it was fucking basic id not have to ask you how to do something!

my H when i try and do something (usually computer or something related) and it doesnt go to plan or doesnt work how he wanted I get
"well thanks anyway"
Inwardly I rage👿

I raise you "So..."

As a conjunctive to link with a previous sentence it's just about acceptable but as a stand-alone beginning to a sentence... no. I stopped listening to Radio 4 a few years ago because every guest on there seemed to start their sentences with "So".

'Fine'

Granted it's usually my teen (my friend's teen does it too) but I find it so rude.

Do you fancy chilli and rice for tea
'Fine'

Not a single phrase as such but my DH is currently going though a phase of stating the bloody obvious.

DH: There's a bottle of juice on the floor beside you with some still in it.
Me: Yes, I know, I put it there.

DH: Your phone's plugged in.
Me: Yes, that's because it's charging.

DH: There's half a tomato wrapped in clingfilm in the fridge.
Me: Yes, I had half on a sandwich today and will have the other half on my sandwich tomorrow.

DH: You still have a grapefruit in the fruit bowl.
Me: Yes, that's because the weather's been freezing and I haven't fancied grapefruit enough to make the prep worthwhile.

He claims it's not stating the obvious it's "being helpful and there's no need to be snippy".

Every time he does it now I say something obvious back "Your phone just pinged" even if he's sitting next to it.

Happy Crippy? Happy Crippy?

How have you managed to bite your lip and not tell her how ridiculous she sounds, @LyndaSnellsSniff? You must have the patience of a saint!

Also, have you lost weight?......a 'friend' says this to me and I hate it so much.

This made me actually laugh out loud. Happy crippy? What does it even mean?

Also hate the weight comments. My mother is obsessed with what people weigh- she has had eating disorders all her life and so have I. (For me it's bulimia, but mostly under control now). I've just spent 2 weeks with her as my father is ill and she actually said to her neighbour who is relatively new and not a good friend ' You have lost weight! What do you weigh now?'. The neighbour looked mortified and mumbled she did not know and my mother drilled deeper down 'You MUST know! You can't have lost that without trying? You can tell me, shall I take a guess?'. The neighbour almost ran home. (Turned out the neighbour is nursing her terminally ill mother so is probably just kind of exhausted and stressed).

I'm 52 now and it's only been the last few years I realised how outright strange it is that she is so hyper focused on it all. (Although for years I cut the size tags out of my clothes before she comes to stay because she always makes a point of turning over my collar while I am wearing something to take a look and then comment on it).

My dad does this, it's very irritating.

"Welcome to my world!"

I don’t mean to be rude but…

aye you fecking do.

Oh god yes, 'Let that sink in' and 'welcome to my world'
Both make my skin crimple!

Happy Crippy would make me laugh but the nappies/napkins, baby/babe thing would send me over a cliff. They have the same amount of letters in each word, therefore she is not shortening then so just say the actual word.

Apparently it is short for happy Christmas, @JanetSaysYouGotTidyHair.

“You’ve lost weight!”, from my MIL every time I enter her house. Guaranteed to be said within 5 minutes of me arriving. It feels like it’s practically replaced hello. No, I haven’t. I haven’t since the last time I saw you two weeks ago. I’m the same size I’ve always been. Stop commenting on it. It drives me mental

I was blown away.....
Well, do it, then. Get blown as far as you would go.

Also, fab.
When something or someone are just...fab.
Ugh.

When American vloggers describe things as “so stinkin’ cute” 🤢 It actually makes me curl up and die a little on the inside.

A couple of years ago there was a trend to describe things as “addicting”. I really hated that but it seems to have passed, thankfully.

Can do

’Shall we go out for dinner tonight?’
’Can do’
’Why are you incapable of expressing an actual opinion? Do you want to go for f*ing dinner or not?! Aaaargh!’

When people say " I was just saying" when they've pulled up on saying something offensive etc. The whole point is I don't want you to " just say" Shut the fuck up

@AnAlpacaForChristmasPleaseSanta

Have you seen the tops from this company?. They have me in stitches

Use your words

When I suggest something and DH says "that's not a bad idea". To him he thinks he is being supportive , but as I have explained many times a) it's not very positive and b) it does rather suggest that most of my other ideas are rubbish.

I have now trained him to say "That's a good idea" but I am not sure he fully understands why .