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Why do some people think it's perfectly reasonable to be so rude to retail staff?

114 replies

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 14:38

My DD is 16. After months of looking for work, she was lucky to get a part time job at a well known retail store a few months ago (hardly any jobs available for 16 year olds in our area). It is not the highest of pay, just £6.40 ph but it gives her a little bit of money whilst she studies at college full time.

However, she really does not like the job. She finds the work ok and gets on really well with colleagues but it's the customers, some are so nasty for no real reason. Some are down right creepy.

A few recent examples of what she has to endure:-

On several occasions now she has had grown men (some old guys as well) ask her out whilst she's served them at the till, another cornered her whilst she was stacking shelves wanting her to go over to the far end of the store with her (apparently he wanted help looking for shoe polish) and when she pointed to where it was but said she couldn't leave her current work (she said this because she instantly found him creepy) he became angry and wanted to know why she was working such a shit job, why she wasn't at uni and that she obviously had zero ambitions in life/was going nowhere, he was constantly calling her by her name (they have to wear name tags which I personally disagree with for this very reason). Luckily a colleague witnessed this and called her over to customer services to get her away from the situation. When he left the store he shouted goodbye to her across the shop floor (again, calling her by her name).

A few weeks ago she had a woman come back into the store shouting at DD because the £1 box of eggs had a 10% sticker on and DD hadn't seen it so had failed to give the discount. She was demanding she gave her the discount and wanted to know why she had been so stupid as to miss it off (it was DD first week).

She has messaged me today, on her break, really upset saying a woman has screamed at her today firstly demanding to know why the queue was so long and then when dd totalled up the woman's goods she said "that'll be £90", the woman then refused to pay until DD said please, which obviously DD did and so she agreed to pay (ironically when DD asked if she wanted a paper receipt the woman just snapped yesterday, no please from her!). She then said she thought everyone who worked in the store were all thoroughly rude and that she worked in customer services and is never that rude at work, Mmmmm!?

The actual incident hasn't upset DD too much but what has is the fact this woman has automatically written an online review stating my DD's name and really running her down.

She's so upset. It's her first job, she earns peanuts. She is doing her best. Thankfully, she does have lots of nice customers too and some bring in their dogs (store allows pets in) so she has a little cuddle with those which makes her day a bit more bearable but it's these horrible, nasty customers which are really putting her off the job.

I know it's character building. I worked in retail in my younger days and know that some people can be as rude as fuck but why do they have to be such arsehole? Are their lives so tragic and sad that they get their kicks by belittling young people just starting out in the working world. Are they so old and hardened by the world that they can't remember what it was like being young and starting out in life?

Anyhow if, on the very odd chance that last customer is reading this......I very much hope your next poo is an extra large pine cone!

OP posts:
Mogloveseggs · 26/01/2025 14:41

Sending a massive hug to your dd. It might be classed as "character building" but it is utterly shit for the person on the end of it.
I think that persons next poo should be a pineapple!

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 14:44

Mogloveseggs · 26/01/2025 14:41

Sending a massive hug to your dd. It might be classed as "character building" but it is utterly shit for the person on the end of it.
I think that persons next poo should be a pineapple!

Lol, yes a pineapple 🤣

OP posts:
blackandwhitefur · 26/01/2025 14:44

Having worked in retail for 25 years, starting at the bottom and now in a senior central position, I put up with this crap too. People, no matter how nice and open minded they claim to be, always think they are superior to retail staff because essentially they look down on it. People will come back on this thread and say 'that's awful, people are assholes' etc...though I can bet you they think the same at times. It's also a way for them to justify bullying by blaming it on crap service or their expectations weren't met. Admittedly, sometimes service is rubbish and I don't blame customers for getting upset but that can all be done in a polite and calm way and usually the staff are miserable because day in day out they put up with crap.

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Spicykitten · 26/01/2025 14:45

I completely get it. I wish it was compulsory for everyone to work in retail at least once, even if it’s just for a month.

No-one who has ever worked in retail would treat retail staff like that.

Sending a virtual hug to your DD x

BitOutOfPractice · 26/01/2025 14:48

I have no idea why people are like this. If it’s any consolation people were like this when I was a similar age to your DD and working In retail in the 80s. Some people are just arseholes and it gives them a kick to upset other people.

I know it’s hard but you just have to try and develop a thick skin and not Take it personally.

Im so sorry she has to deal with these people. Hope she’s ok.

amispeakingintongues · 26/01/2025 14:51

People like that (unkind / creepy / miserable twats) see vulnerable young shop staff with their whole lives ahead of them as easy targets to exploit in order to make themselves feel momentarily better or more powerful. They really don't care much that they've upset anyone, it's all very much about themselves and how its made them feel. The psycho woman who demanded she say please obviously has a fragile ego which must be exhausting if she needs to go to such extreme lengths to feel vindicated.

I worked in retail as a youngster far too long while studying and i think the verbal abuse actually done me way more harm than good.

Augustus40 · 26/01/2025 14:52

Wondering if this is Home Bargains. They pay very low for her age and the shifts aren't good either.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 26/01/2025 14:54

My DS did some work in retail (fast food) while he was studying , he said the F2F interactions with some customers were eye opening .
Maybe he got away with some as he is a young man , the rude ones might not be so quick to be rude to a man ?

Some argued with the price (that was advertised on the menu not something my son dreamed up).
I don;t think he had any "are you thick /have you no ambition" type of insults , he'd probably ignore them as he said the back up from management wasn't great .
A reply of "Well I;m studying for a degree (DS now has a Masters) and clearly you need me more than I need you , because Here you bloody well are buying food " would land him in trouble .

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 14:54

Augustus40 · 26/01/2025 14:52

Wondering if this is Home Bargains. They pay very low for her age and the shifts aren't good either.

It's The Range.

OP posts:
Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 14:55

Thank you everyone.

OP posts:
Augustus40 · 26/01/2025 14:57

Oh ok. Poor thing.

BabyCatMama · 26/01/2025 14:59

That's difficult, she's so young, maybe you can practice different situations with her so that she knows how to handle herself ? When a man is making her uncomfortable, she is allowed to say this. If she's at work or not. Someone complains to her, she can say "I apologise for making a mistake. Please don't raise your voice at me"

Papyrophile · 26/01/2025 15:01

I think it should be compulsory for everyone to do some low status low paid customer service work, if only so they learn how to treat people respectfully. Several years of casual/holiday waitressing did the trick!

wastingtimeonhere · 26/01/2025 15:02

Working in retail means I actually hate going shopping.
I hate rude arseholes who think that they are better than you, talk to you like you are something on their shoe. In nearly 20yrs I have been shouted at, sworn at, threatened, and had things thrown at me.
I also hate the description of retail as an 'entry level' job. For many, it's likely, for many reasons, to be their 'career'.
Anyone using that term shows themselves to be a twat. We were bloody essential during the pandemic.

oakleaffy · 26/01/2025 15:03

@Pancakeparlour I’m so sorry your daughter is experiencing this.

I always assume young people working in retail are students.
But how dare these creepy men harass your daughter like that.

oakleaffy · 26/01/2025 15:04

wastingtimeonhere · 26/01/2025 15:02

Working in retail means I actually hate going shopping.
I hate rude arseholes who think that they are better than you, talk to you like you are something on their shoe. In nearly 20yrs I have been shouted at, sworn at, threatened, and had things thrown at me.
I also hate the description of retail as an 'entry level' job. For many, it's likely, for many reasons, to be their 'career'.
Anyone using that term shows themselves to be a twat. We were bloody essential during the pandemic.

That is absolutely awful.
What ignorant arseholes they must be to do that to another person who is just doing their job.

3678194b · 26/01/2025 15:05

I'm sorry, that sounds awful. I think many people are selfish and self-centered, sadly.

Princessfluffy · 26/01/2025 15:18

There are some really unpleasant people around OP, people working in retail shouldn't have to deal with this kind of behaviour.

I see your pinecone and your pineapple and I raise you a porcupine.

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 15:20

wastingtimeonhere · 26/01/2025 15:02

Working in retail means I actually hate going shopping.
I hate rude arseholes who think that they are better than you, talk to you like you are something on their shoe. In nearly 20yrs I have been shouted at, sworn at, threatened, and had things thrown at me.
I also hate the description of retail as an 'entry level' job. For many, it's likely, for many reasons, to be their 'career'.
Anyone using that term shows themselves to be a twat. We were bloody essential during the pandemic.

I totally agree.

Do you think it has become worse since the pandemic?

DH doesn't work in retail but the nature of his work means he is in contact with the general public every day. He has been doing the same job for 35 years and says the public are crazy these days, so rude and entitled. The company now offer their staff body cams as it's getting so bad.

OP posts:
LadyLucyWells · 26/01/2025 15:28

Honestly, it seems to me that only the retail and hospitality industries put up with this. Everywhere else I go there are signs up saying ‘we will not tolerate abuse.’

Having worked in both hospitality and retail, the best advice I was ever given was ‘kill them with kindness.’ It generally worked for me, I would ‘smile and wave’ and think about hometime. It seemed to help me to detach myself from the situation. Until I reached 50 that was, when a guest made one of the waitresses at work cry on Christmas Day. Awful man who my (very wise) son said was probably staying at a hotel on Christmas Day because his family didn’t want to tolerate him and his misery! I left the industry I had loved working in for so many years after that. Some people are absolutely awful and that will never change. Your lovely dd will meet the best and the worst people in this job.

Tara336 · 26/01/2025 15:28

I don't work in retail as such but it's a job that deals with the public and its a real eye opener what utter arseholes some people are. I've been sworn at way to may times for my liking, rarely thanked and the entitlement of some people is shocking

whaddayawannado · 26/01/2025 15:37

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 15:20

I totally agree.

Do you think it has become worse since the pandemic?

DH doesn't work in retail but the nature of his work means he is in contact with the general public every day. He has been doing the same job for 35 years and says the public are crazy these days, so rude and entitled. The company now offer their staff body cams as it's getting so bad.

You'd think, wouldn't you, that after lockdown and all those restrictions, people would have realised just how important retail staff are to this country (other public-facing roles too), and show a decent amount of courtesy and good manners.

People in low-paid jobs should not be treated like second-class citizens.

wastingtimeonhere · 26/01/2025 15:40

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 15:20

I totally agree.

Do you think it has become worse since the pandemic?

DH doesn't work in retail but the nature of his work means he is in contact with the general public every day. He has been doing the same job for 35 years and says the public are crazy these days, so rude and entitled. The company now offer their staff body cams as it's getting so bad.

I actually don't think it's worse, it's been an even spread of abusive twats over the years. It's more the 'I'm more important, better paid, higher status' than you mentality.

RedRosesParmaViolets · 26/01/2025 15:41

Because they are thick.
I always ask for the manager and ask the manager to feedback and if there is no manager I always caveat, I know this isn't you, please have a moan to the manager for me.

Andtheworldwentwhite · 26/01/2025 15:41

I have worked retail and yes people are awful. Worst ones was when I worked in a pub restaurant. Sunday lunch. Was rammed and I had a huge waiting list. Some women basically told me to move people who were eating so she could get a table. Mind blown.

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