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Why do some people think it's perfectly reasonable to be so rude to retail staff?

114 replies

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 14:38

My DD is 16. After months of looking for work, she was lucky to get a part time job at a well known retail store a few months ago (hardly any jobs available for 16 year olds in our area). It is not the highest of pay, just £6.40 ph but it gives her a little bit of money whilst she studies at college full time.

However, she really does not like the job. She finds the work ok and gets on really well with colleagues but it's the customers, some are so nasty for no real reason. Some are down right creepy.

A few recent examples of what she has to endure:-

On several occasions now she has had grown men (some old guys as well) ask her out whilst she's served them at the till, another cornered her whilst she was stacking shelves wanting her to go over to the far end of the store with her (apparently he wanted help looking for shoe polish) and when she pointed to where it was but said she couldn't leave her current work (she said this because she instantly found him creepy) he became angry and wanted to know why she was working such a shit job, why she wasn't at uni and that she obviously had zero ambitions in life/was going nowhere, he was constantly calling her by her name (they have to wear name tags which I personally disagree with for this very reason). Luckily a colleague witnessed this and called her over to customer services to get her away from the situation. When he left the store he shouted goodbye to her across the shop floor (again, calling her by her name).

A few weeks ago she had a woman come back into the store shouting at DD because the £1 box of eggs had a 10% sticker on and DD hadn't seen it so had failed to give the discount. She was demanding she gave her the discount and wanted to know why she had been so stupid as to miss it off (it was DD first week).

She has messaged me today, on her break, really upset saying a woman has screamed at her today firstly demanding to know why the queue was so long and then when dd totalled up the woman's goods she said "that'll be £90", the woman then refused to pay until DD said please, which obviously DD did and so she agreed to pay (ironically when DD asked if she wanted a paper receipt the woman just snapped yesterday, no please from her!). She then said she thought everyone who worked in the store were all thoroughly rude and that she worked in customer services and is never that rude at work, Mmmmm!?

The actual incident hasn't upset DD too much but what has is the fact this woman has automatically written an online review stating my DD's name and really running her down.

She's so upset. It's her first job, she earns peanuts. She is doing her best. Thankfully, she does have lots of nice customers too and some bring in their dogs (store allows pets in) so she has a little cuddle with those which makes her day a bit more bearable but it's these horrible, nasty customers which are really putting her off the job.

I know it's character building. I worked in retail in my younger days and know that some people can be as rude as fuck but why do they have to be such arsehole? Are their lives so tragic and sad that they get their kicks by belittling young people just starting out in the working world. Are they so old and hardened by the world that they can't remember what it was like being young and starting out in life?

Anyhow if, on the very odd chance that last customer is reading this......I very much hope your next poo is an extra large pine cone!

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 15:43

This is awful. No one should have to put up with it. Well done to yoir DD for sticking with the job.

I also see a lot of racist abuse in London these days.

wastingtimeonhere · 26/01/2025 15:43

It's not helped by companies being so shit scared of negative reviews and complaints instead of barring twats, telling then to fuck off if they don't like it, they fall over backwards to appease. It gives twats license to be twats.

blobby10 · 26/01/2025 15:48

I've never worked in retail or hospitality or in a hospital but would ever dream of treating anyone as badly as this because I'm not a total arsehole. If anything I sometimes go overboard being nice which is probably even more irritating to the staff. Grin

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Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 26/01/2025 15:50

I used to work in a small family run shop and we had a woman who came in every day - she had mebtal health issues and you never knew what version of her you were going to get.
One day she absolutely screamed at me in front of a full up shop and being older and wiser than my teenage years, l replied to her that l had only ever been polite and professional to her. Mighr have raised my voice! Fuck it, didn't get paid enough for that.
Next time she came in, my boss said oh why don't you go out the back? I said no way l haven't done anything wrong. The other boss said she was going to tell the woman she is only welcome if she treats the staff with respect.
It was horrible - l was shaking - no teenager should have to deal wirh these idiots but they need a manager who will defend them

SemperIdem · 26/01/2025 15:53

I’ve worked in retail, to a senior level. The general public really aren’t particularly nice. The pandemic saw people feeling empowered to be grossly unpleasant, whilst I’ve left retail since it, I don’t see those behaviours being put back in the box.

LadyLucyWells · 26/01/2025 15:55

Some people are absolutely ruder, lazier and more entitled since the pandemic.

GreenwichPips · 26/01/2025 15:57

Your poor DD! I had no idea that 16-year-olds in some retailers were only being paid around half the National Minimum Wage. That’s shameful and even more reason why they should be treated with a bit more kindness and understanding when they are starting out.

When I was a 16-year-old working at Sainsbury’s, I received roughly the same hourly rate as my over-22 colleagues. Mind you, the NMW was only around £5 an hour then and will soon be £12.21, which gives unscrupulous employers an excuse to pay younger workers much less 😒

Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 15:58

What would people do if they saw ravist abuse? I have not intervened because I am scared of being stabbed, and usually the abuser leaves. I think staff are advised not to confront.

GreenwichPips · 26/01/2025 16:05

I still remember one of my colleagues at Sainsbury’s being humiliated by a man when she said she wasn’t sure where the item he wanted was (she was new) but that she’d find out. He growled “I don’t want you to ‘find out’, I want you to KNOW!” and then turned to his young son and muttered “This is why I pay your school fees…” loudly enough for her (and me) to hear. She was actually working part-time while studying veterinary science in the local university, not that it should matter!

There’s so much snobbery from some customers. I used to be asked all the time what my “real job” was (as they rightly suspected that I was a student) and the absolute low point was a woman remarking with surprise “Well, you’re far too well-spoken and polite to be a checkout girl! What do you really do?!”. I felt so embarrassed, particularly for the full-time colleague sitting behind me who overheard it. I just muttered “I’m a student but I love working here in the vacation - my colleagues are great!” 😥

Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 16:06

*racist.
I would absolutely intervene in the case of pervy men though.

Theunamedcat · 26/01/2025 16:10

Dd had the "say please" lady too unfortunately her mouth was quite fast and she snipped "please" at her over the "yes" for the receipt the lady was all WHAAAT??? she said "one moment please" "the machine is being slow today"......the manager was stood right there and when she tried to say dd hadn't said that at first he said that's what I heard her say 😉 🤣 apparently she was never coming back sadly she still does

FunkyMonks · 26/01/2025 16:13

Your poor DD I agree OP I worked in retail like your DD when I was 16 up until 20s while studying I've had some right rude customers.

Worse one I remember was Starbucks I was making a coffee and this woman was so rude she was slagging one of my colleagues off for not smiling enough while taking her order and payment, she then came out with the classic line I pay your wages etc she should learn to smile more blah blah I smiled at the cow whilst thinking I hope you choke on your cake and coffee horrid woman.

Sadly it's not just retail you get this in NHS or any business where you have to deal with any person. my mum has given me some horror stories when she was nursing being attacked and spat at men threatening to rape her and following her outside etc sadly some humans if that's what we can call them are disgusting waste of spaces.

GellerYeller · 26/01/2025 16:14

Experiences like these are the reason my teen chose to work back of house in hospitality. A deliberate choice to avoid interacting with customers. A friend’s 17 year old waitressed and was verbally abused, and subjected to unwanted advances.
Our local supermarket staff have body cams too.

Noshowlomo · 26/01/2025 16:20

People are absolute c u n t s

coldscottishmum · 26/01/2025 16:23

What a shame for your DD. Lots of young staff members work in shops near me, I wouldn’t dream of shouting at them. How embarrassing to raise your voice in a shop anyway. 10% of £1 for eggs .. 10p? Is that worth shouting at someone for?

ssd · 26/01/2025 16:24

I'm in retail, the way people speak to us is downright rude. Shouting at us, rolling their eyes at us, huffing and storming away if we can't get what they want immediately...being really really offended because we can't access their pin numbers (yes really)

And the worst is bloody 50 plus women, utterly ridiculous some of them. I wonder how they've got through life so far sometimes. And I'm in that category myself!!!

Worrieaboutthebarbedwire · 26/01/2025 16:27

I think across the board people seem to have become ruder, more entitled, more aggressive and less willing to take responsibility for anything. The way I've seen the staff spoken to when I've been at a school, a shop, the doctors etc is disgusting and frankly embarrassing.

ssd · 26/01/2025 16:31

The worst thing is they always say "do you know how much i spend here?".....now I've practically done my house up from where i work, spent a bloody fortune, even with staff discount....People never consider we buy stuff too

Lentilweaver · 26/01/2025 16:32

ssd · 26/01/2025 16:31

The worst thing is they always say "do you know how much i spend here?".....now I've practically done my house up from where i work, spent a bloody fortune, even with staff discount....People never consider we buy stuff too

How tacky! Them, not you.

Imgoingtobefree · 26/01/2025 16:36

I agree it’s horrible.

I try to stop myself getting too upset by telling myself that these nasty people are having a bad day (and a sad life), and it’s not personal. I exclude the creepy men because they are just arses who prey on young girls.

I’m now going to try and be especially extra nice to any young girls working in retail in a small effort to counteract all the shit customers!

madnessitellyou · 26/01/2025 16:48

I worked in a well known supermarket rhyming with Fresco while I was a postgraduate student. I was told I was “obviously stupid” more than once (I always informed them I was actually a postgrad student). I was told my parents must be ashamed of me because I worked in a supermarket. A sleazy horrible 50-something man sexually harassed me every week for over a year. Managers not remotely interested.

When shopping there once I heard a woman verbally abuse a young lad of 16 working there who had a prosthetic hand. He was a little slower as a consequence (I don’t know the terminology so apologies but it was “basic” in that it appeared to afford him no movement/grip). I made a point of telling her to use her eyes and understand the child in front of her had a visible physical difference. She was only slightly embarrassed; he thanked me but I think he was very upset by it.

I make a point of being lovely to shop staff now. If I’ve a problem, I take it up with management.

Sadly your dd is learning just how horrible some people are!

Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 16:55

GreenwichPips · 26/01/2025 15:57

Your poor DD! I had no idea that 16-year-olds in some retailers were only being paid around half the National Minimum Wage. That’s shameful and even more reason why they should be treated with a bit more kindness and understanding when they are starting out.

When I was a 16-year-old working at Sainsbury’s, I received roughly the same hourly rate as my over-22 colleagues. Mind you, the NMW was only around £5 an hour then and will soon be £12.21, which gives unscrupulous employers an excuse to pay younger workers much less 😒

Yes, sadly the NMW for 16-17 year olds is £6.40. DD is working on the tills alongside 21+ year olds doing the same exact same job, having started at the same time with the same level of experience who are on double the hourly rate. Seems unfair but it is what it is I suppose. It's so hard to find work at 16/17 these days.

OP posts:
Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 16:59

coldscottishmum · 26/01/2025 16:23

What a shame for your DD. Lots of young staff members work in shops near me, I wouldn’t dream of shouting at them. How embarrassing to raise your voice in a shop anyway. 10% of £1 for eggs .. 10p? Is that worth shouting at someone for?

It does leave you wondering what on earth is going on in some people's heads. DD said the woman was incandescent with rage whilst her young DD stood there looking mortified.

OP posts:
Pancakeparlour · 26/01/2025 17:01

ssd · 26/01/2025 16:24

I'm in retail, the way people speak to us is downright rude. Shouting at us, rolling their eyes at us, huffing and storming away if we can't get what they want immediately...being really really offended because we can't access their pin numbers (yes really)

And the worst is bloody 50 plus women, utterly ridiculous some of them. I wonder how they've got through life so far sometimes. And I'm in that category myself!!!

DD says it is mainly older women. I too fall in the 50+ bracket and am deep in peri symptoms and feel like crap most days but couldn't imagine talking down to people like this.
Sorry you have to put up with that crap too.

OP posts:
Meandhimtogether · 26/01/2025 17:02

I'm so sorry that your DD is experiencing this abuse.
All she can do if the creepy man comes in walk away
and report to the manager. He/she is incharge of her
safety.
Again if someone is shouting walk away.

I worked in retail for over 25 years it was getting worse
in the early 2000's. I changed to working as a GP receptionist.
In a way sometimes I felt that was worse.
The worst was someone came in at 6.29pm to pick up his
prescription I handed it over and he exploded as one of the items
hadn't been put on the prescription. It turned out he hadn't ordered
it. I explained that it would be signed by the gp next day. He left
saying that was fine.
I lock up and fortunately DH was picking me up that day.
Get outside and from no where he came behind and punched me
in the back. I went down and he was trying to kick me in the head.
The item missing was paracetamol.
He got arrested and banned from any GP practice in the area.
Which meant he had to go to the special place for drug users
Where they get there meds. Which is over 10 miles away.