Why do some people think it's perfectly reasonable to be so rude to retail staff?

[Pancakeparlour]

My DD is 16. After months of looking for work, she was lucky to get a part time job at a well known retail store a few months ago (hardly any jobs available for 16 year olds in our area). It is not the highest of pay, just £6.40 ph but it gives her a little bit of money whilst she studies at college full time.

However, she really does not like the job. She finds the work ok and gets on really well with colleagues but it's the customers, some are so nasty for no real reason. Some are down right creepy.

A few recent examples of what she has to endure:-

On several occasions now she has had grown men (some old guys as well) ask her out whilst she's served them at the till, another cornered her whilst she was stacking shelves wanting her to go over to the far end of the store with her (apparently he wanted help looking for shoe polish) and when she pointed to where it was but said she couldn't leave her current work (she said this because she instantly found him creepy) he became angry and wanted to know why she was working such a shit job, why she wasn't at uni and that she obviously had zero ambitions in life/was going nowhere, he was constantly calling her by her name (they have to wear name tags which I personally disagree with for this very reason). Luckily a colleague witnessed this and called her over to customer services to get her away from the situation. When he left the store he shouted goodbye to her across the shop floor (again, calling her by her name).

A few weeks ago she had a woman come back into the store shouting at DD because the £1 box of eggs had a 10% sticker on and DD hadn't seen it so had failed to give the discount. She was demanding she gave her the discount and wanted to know why she had been so stupid as to miss it off (it was DD first week).

She has messaged me today, on her break, really upset saying a woman has screamed at her today firstly demanding to know why the queue was so long and then when dd totalled up the woman's goods she said "that'll be £90", the woman then refused to pay until DD said please, which obviously DD did and so she agreed to pay (ironically when DD asked if she wanted a paper receipt the woman just snapped yesterday, no please from her!). She then said she thought everyone who worked in the store were all thoroughly rude and that she worked in customer services and is never that rude at work, Mmmmm!?

The actual incident hasn't upset DD too much but what has is the fact this woman has automatically written an online review stating my DD's name and really running her down.

She's so upset. It's her first job, she earns peanuts. She is doing her best. Thankfully, she does have lots of nice customers too and some bring in their dogs (store allows pets in) so she has a little cuddle with those which makes her day a bit more bearable but it's these horrible, nasty customers which are really putting her off the job.

I know it's character building. I worked in retail in my younger days and know that some people can be as rude as fuck but why do they have to be such arsehole? Are their lives so tragic and sad that they get their kicks by belittling young people just starting out in the working world. Are they so old and hardened by the world that they can't remember what it was like being young and starting out in life?

Anyhow if, on the very odd chance that last customer is reading this......I very much hope your next poo is an extra large pine cone!

I have put up a review stating how good the store is and how helpful the staff are. This isn't a lie as I have used the store for years.

I have also reported the woman's post as it named an employee in a negative way, I have also asked friends and family to do the same but google haven't removed it yet.

I think there's a certain sort of person who gets off on being rude (or worse) to retail/hospitality staff. They know that the person they are being rude to will have to be polite back to them. In my experience they also choose someone that they think they can upset or intimidate, not someone who looks like they might not take it (so usually a younger person, junior member of staff etc, never a big burly bloke). I can only assume that they are generally angry people but don't dare express it with anyone who might stand up to them.

We live in a tourist area and my DD works in a cafe during Uni holidays. She's experienced people shouting at her because cafe policy is to not allow dogs in, storming out and refusing to pay for drinks because food was not quick enough (even though they were told that there was a 30min wait for main meals) and lots of other complaints about things that she clearly could have no control over. The weirdest was a customer who shouted at the staff and left a bad tripadviser review because they could not serve him a toasted tea cake and had allowed him to queue for 10mins without telling him that this would be the case. Tea cakes are not (and as far as I know have never been) on the menu that is displayed by the door and available on every table.

There also seem to be lots of people who think it's perfectly fine to tell hospitality staff what a crap job it is and ask why they do it.

Just awful, seriously though what the hell is wrong with these people?

The answer is yes, anyone that shouts at a 16to shop worker has a tragic life. But management should be protecting her.

Enjoy belittling 16 yo shop workers, I take it? What a ridiculous, narcissistic comment.

They quite wrongly look down on shop workers. That's the blunt truth.

Name badges imo are a safeguarding issue. I have had many staff found on social media, especially young ones who will put their workplace on Facebook. All predators have to go is to type a name in, then the company and they can scroll until they find who they want.

Its happened numerous times at my workplace!

I think it’s a perfect way to judge a persons character on how they treat people in low paid work. My FIL was a scholarship boy from a council estate in the 1950’s to a famous boarding school. He then went to Oxford. He was always a bit chippy on his shoulder though he most definitely made it. He was alway quite rude to waiting staff, not as bad as the op but looked down his nose at them. I think inside there was still a scared little boy who was sent away and was the poor kid and out of his depth. He did it to feel better about himself as insecure.

My Mother always had the most beautiful manners and treated all shop and waiting staff well. Those manners have been passed on.

So gross that grown men are asking 16 year olds out, do they not realise their own age?

Next time someone is rude to your daughter tell her to say “ I think it’s best if someone else serves you today “ then walk off . If the manger asks why she walked off she can say she was being abused. A lot of shops carry signs warning customers that abuse of their staff will not be tolerated.

I had this too . A woman came back into a shop I was working in screaming at me because I had declined her card and it had worked on the next shop she had been in . I reminded her it was the equipment that declined her card not me personally as I didn’t have the power to do that . She shrunk right down .

There's always bee people like this, as you say there's good people too.
We tend not to hear about them.

Why didn't your daughter say please though it's basic manners. I'm afraid I hate that no please or thank you.

I intervened when a customer was being vile to a young server at a coffee shop the other day.
What is wrong with people?

Absolutely this. What’s wrong with a “happy to help” badge or similar.

Staff don’t know the name of customers. Why is it ok vice versa?