Is Mumsnet getting worse?

[Soreen123]

I post here from time to time looking for advice when I’m not really sure who to talk to. Some of the responses I have had are just mean.

I recently put my house link up (which I realise- biggest mistake) only to be told by some I must be lying about the parking situation, my house looked ‘council like’, it’s scruffy, clinical, cold, screams millennial. When all I was asking for was a bit of advice.

A few months ago I asked for advice on my children not being included in something and the blame was put on my children that they must be so badly behaved and that parents of badly behaved children will never admit it. I never actually spoke about my children’s behaviour.

Has mumsnet just become a place to lay into others when they feel down or ask for some advice? It seems to have become a place for others to tear others down.

Or is it just the forums I’m on, it’s not just my posts I see it across loads.

I put an innocent guess on a TV show thread which turned out to be tight, and the OP then said they were going to consider banning people who lifted guesses from Twitter/X.
Couldn't tell if they were joking or not and couldn't be arsed to argue back.

Every platform seems to be the same. Instagram is a cesspit. I don’t follow Davina mccall but she came up on my feed and loads of people saying you need to put weight on. I stupidly suggested to one woman that it’s not helpful commenting on people’s weight, especially when she’d just been ill. I was called a crawler and a low life - it was a really bizarre reaction. Probably more bizarre as it was such an odd thing to be called I think on here most people would make a rational argument and use the right words!

Yes agree. I'm 40 (with children 6 and under!) and am often surprised that I'm average to young on here. I think the bulk of the demographic joined when their DC were young and then struck around. I don't think the typical MNer is in the trenches any more.

You’re not wrong i’m afraid it can be a vipers pit for the nasty and miserable.

I once witnessed an awful woman speculating another’s IQ among other personal attacks

I will add i think theres some wonderful helpful women on MN its just a few with a nasty pack mentality ruin it.

I shudder at the possibility of ever being in the vicinity of the horrors though.

Exactly this. I’ve seen some truly awful comments, but also helpful and kind ones.

it’s kind of telling when you see a really nasty mean comment and check that users posts and discover they’re all like that. Those people must be really unhappy IRL and I just pity whoever they share it with.

I get that all the time! I'll explain why I think Trump is popular or something like that and people pile on me accusing me of supporting him.

They won't say this sort of thing to people in real life. It's an outlet for spiteful little people. Some threads and forums are ok but so many posters really are vile creatures.

@BarbaraHoward yes, there are awful lot of references & threads relating to things before I was born (I'm an 80s child).

Shame those posts weren't posted publically

OPs can't ban people from threads.

@username299 That annoys me more than the rude posters because you cannot then have reasoned debate. On the Axel R threads I said the fact he was missed by Prevent looks dreadful. Cue a load of responses telling me it's because he wasn't a terrorist under current guidelines. I was aware of this but my point still stood & in cases like this it's about public perception hence why KS said similar later on.

@boxyboxs @BarbaraHoward I think there are a lot of the old MN’s still on here ( me included). It would be interesting to see the age breakdown.
I looked at gransnet and although I’m a gran (Nana!), I didn’t feel that it represented me or my outlook on life.
Should Mumsnet be a forum for mums in the thick of it or all mums? I don’t know.

Mumsnet really does shine a light on how bitchy woman can be. We are all too happy to point the finger at men being toxic, misogynistic, etc, but some woman are evidently just as bad let's be honest.

From reading this group's posts and seeing them in the wild.

I think MN have always been clear that they're for everyone who wants to be here. I don't have a problem with the demographic being older than you might expect, I was just disagreeing with the poster who said the problem is women under 32. I suspect women in their 20s are an absolutely tiny minority on here.

I think some people are deliberately misinterpreting posts to be difficult. But it's very frustrating to be misunderstood, I agree.

Quite often an op will shout about how mumsnet is nasty and not like it used to be simply because they haven’t got the responses they wanted

id be interested in the threads you started OP on which you feel poorly treated as, I imagine it isn’t quite as unfair as you see it

@Itsthatime It's interesting because I often wondered how many should be on Gransnet vs here but actually the forum should be open for all. I joined for advice on bf and my dc are well into primary. I just think the media image is very much a mum with young dc and then I read a thread about house prices, mortgages, heart throbs, the NHS, etc and I think these answers don't tally.

But if it's got worse then that is from the new comers not the OG's

You're imagining a cool jetsetting childfree 20 something, there are mums in their 20s.

I think some people are deliberately misinterpreting posts to be difficult.

Which is the bit I don't get or the posters who response is "wish that was all I had to worry about" or "people are dying" which would logically apply to the majority of threads & MNs should therefore cease to exist.

I have had some great advice though on the money boards, the breastfeeding ones and excellent suggestions for things to do when holidaying.

I really doubt many of those are on Mumsnet!

Rather, I think it's a matter of deeply unhappy people taking their misery out on others.

It would be interesting to see the age breakdown.

I would like to see this.

That was me and I was joking! I put a wink if I remember rightly! I also didn't tag anyone or direct it at you specifically...

I agree MN has got nastier which is why I am reading this.

The Telly Addicts threads used to be funny and ironic ( so the PP misread my tone I guess) but now they have either become deeply earnest and not fun (BGT)or, more usually, nasty. The Strictly thread can get really snipy and unpleasant abkht contestants. I try to keep my TMS one silly and lighthearted.

I will defend myself by saying the spirit of that thread is that we formulate and share our own guesses and there have this year been more people lifting direct quotes from X without even saying 'according to...'.

But I wasn't being serious! I'd rather you had had a go at me on that thread tbh.

Amen to that. For all the supposed feminists on here, there are a lot of posters with a lot to learn about the sisterhood for sure.

Lot of very bitter, unhappy, jealous women posting on MN.

Glad you posted this, OP!