Is Mumsnet getting worse?

[Soreen123]

I post here from time to time looking for advice when I’m not really sure who to talk to. Some of the responses I have had are just mean.

I recently put my house link up (which I realise- biggest mistake) only to be told by some I must be lying about the parking situation, my house looked ‘council like’, it’s scruffy, clinical, cold, screams millennial. When all I was asking for was a bit of advice.

A few months ago I asked for advice on my children not being included in something and the blame was put on my children that they must be so badly behaved and that parents of badly behaved children will never admit it. I never actually spoke about my children’s behaviour.

Has mumsnet just become a place to lay into others when they feel down or ask for some advice? It seems to have become a place for others to tear others down.

Or is it just the forums I’m on, it’s not just my posts I see it across loads.

Ooh that salt one... LTB! 😂

Oh and if you commit the cardinal sin of leaving a typo

A lot of posters get kicks out of being contrary. The "why is my house not selling" ones are often stupid, I don't know anyone who hasn't bought a house because there were too many knick knacks on the sideboard or no art on the walls.

I think it's the younger mums, they are so different. I mean mums of under 32 years of age and with small children of 6 and younger.

Per PP, the Relationships board is worth a mention, I think that board is truly eye opening for me in understanding the situations that many women are living in, what is 'normal' or considered acceptable behaviour in a relationship, and the level of support and wisdom that is offered there.

the baby name forum is also vile.

The people who post on that board live in a time warp.

I think it's the younger mums, they are so different. I mean mums of under 32 years of age and with small children of 6 and younger.

How have you come to that conclusion?

I think MNs skews a lot older than its image suggests.

But surely you know what's going to happen if you ask for opinions in the baby name topic.
Never understood that anyway...why care what strangers think of your choices? It's bizarre.
A bit like AIBU, it's never going to end well.

I've been here for about 20 years.

I'm sure mumsnet has changed in that time - what hasn't? Society has changed in that time and social media is more embedded.

I have also changed and do find I'm in a different place to many posters in terms of parenting/life stage and that I might not fully understand their views because of that.

I do think attitude is board dependent - I think boards like Gardening which are small and have a shared interest are fairly gentle.

AIBU is somewhere where you have to be ready to defend your position, your actions and your views. You will not get straight validation for your choices there - you will be challenged and sometimes this will feel horrible. Sometimes people are being straight up nasty and in this case, reporting their posts will usually be dealt with. Sometimes you have to walk away because things are going in circles.

I'm still here though.

The Pet forum and Telly Addicts are both nice forums. If someone gets narky in one of the regular Soap threads it gets pointed out. I had some great support on the pet board recently.

I like Style and Beauty as again if someone starts getting narky people say it's S&B let's be nice sort of thing. We all like different things.

I find certain topics bring out the awful comments, male/female friendships and working from home being two of them.

It's the absolute confidence with which people give incorrect information that gets me.

It's always been an issue here (ten years ago the company I worked for had someone who monitored forums like this to gather all the incorrect info about our product and try to make it more idiot proof on our help website) but the post-Covid 'everyone is an expert' era has definitely made it worse.

Avoid dog threads, they attract crazies!

It's the absolute confidence with which people give incorrect information that gets me.

Forgot that!

I am beginning to agree. I've been here for nearly two decades though, from the time I searched up how to help my newborn to sleep. And I feel so sad about the loss of a community which has always had its vipers, as any community does, but that was not about social engineering.

Is that the dog haters or the dog owners or both 😆

Some people really love to stick the boot in.

The worst one I saw recently was where the op was very upset after a tradesman had shouted and sworn at her in her own home. But a surprising amount of posters told her she must have done something to antagonise him, it had to somehow be her fault he was so aggressive. It was such a depressing read.

If it helps I don't think it's a true reflection of reality. Some people are bored, miserable, lonely or bitter and just like to try and pull other people down too.

I think there are people with problems here. I was told that I was like the Taliban the other day. There also seem to be a lot more bigots.

Both sides are bad but the lovers seems to just edge it most times.

People who post in the appropriate place for their topic (like about weather in the weather part etc) getting ripped to shreds for posting in the right place then when this is pointed out to the aggressive poster they double down on their abuse

No need

Completely agree, i dont post much but browse alot. Sometimes it takes 8/9 posts in to actually get a normal person response.

I stopped reading AIBU threads as these seem paticularly brutal and just bullying behaviour.

I stick to the chat threads as generally alot better but some posts seems to bring out the worse in people.

I’ve been around for about 14 years and I think both MN and society as a whole has become more polarised and divided. People feel freer online to take a quite strong extreme view and are less open to nuance than previously.

take any contentious area - be it trans rights / feminism / abortion / the role of women in childcare vs work, and people feel freer now to say things online that they would never have said even 10 years ago. People are less open to the idea that others will have different experiences and desires than them. If you disagree, people feel freer now to call you some horrible things.

it seems we, as a society, now want everyone to think and feel the same things, and that tolerance for differences in opinion have sadly almost disappeared. It’s the ‘if you’re not with me you’re against me’ mentality.

@TwinklyFawn that says more about the poster who tried to ridicule you about a spelling mistake than your spelling.

Threads that include a rightmove link always seem to attract nastiness. No house is 100% perfect or to everyones taste and some posters criticise the tiniest things

I've noticed an increased lack of comprehension for want of a better word or if you state something that's factually it means you must agree. I can acknowledge Trump
is popular with some, that doesn't mean I like him but some seem to struggle with separating the too.

two!