What is the most miserable biscuit in existence?

[noblegiraffe]

DH and I are not eating sweet stuff for January and today he commented that he was so fed up with it he would even want to eat a really crap biscuit, so we were debating what that would be.

He reckoned the worst biscuit would be a Nice biscuit, but I think I would much rather eat one of those than a Garibaldi.

Is there a biscuit even more disappointing, that you would be less likely to accept an offer of than a Garibaldi biscuit?

Bourbon
Jammy Dodgers
Cheap digestives
Fig Rolls
Cheap cookies
I love a thin, crispy rich tea finger or a lemon cream

Another vote for Rich Tea. Hideous!

Nice biscuits are one of my favourites 😆

Fig rolls. Absolutely rotten little things 🤢

Hobnobs, and any other godawful concoction made of oats and wood shavings. The minute they go anywhere near your mouth they absorb every drop of saliva then break up into shards of chaff and choke you, litres of tea are needed to get them down your gullet.
I despise anyone who tries to palm one of these husk ridden horrors off on me and pretend it is a biscuit.

Garibaldis run a close second for their sheer meanness of spirit.

I don't think nutrigrain bars count as they are in the 'abomination against nature' category.

Do they literally put sand in them?

I only know ships biscuits from the Captain Hornblower novels.
I love Tuc and buy them every week.
Macarons can be delicious if they're fresh and from the right place, but that usually means they're quite expensive.

Anyone said Arrowroot yet? I can’t remember what they tasted like but I was always disappointed as a child to see them in the cupboard. I think I remember they had the bland beige look of a Rich Tea.

Now I’m older I prefer the more unfussy biscuits (which I hated as a child).

I was waiting for someone to say this! Bourbons are the worst: hard, with a weird fake chocolate taste and floury undercurrent. Rich tea, by comparison, are ambrosia!

....but they'll keep you regular 😏

It's sad really. When we were kids bourbons and custard creams were the things of dreams. Even delving into the broken biscuit tubs in Woolies was a treat. Now we've been spoilt by all the triple choc/double salted caramel/quadruple choc chips massive cookies. Bourbons just cannot compete.

Malted Milk. Bleugh 🤢

Nice, Hobnobs or Digestive, wafers. Urgh.
Love a Garibaldi/Rich Tea/Malted Milk 😀

This is not a house where we have a biscuit tin/barrel but my parents had one. Having tea in the afternoon with them and a biscuit gives me fond memories. My Dad and I often liked the same things, but our taste in biscuits quite different. He liked Garibaldi, Jammy Dodgers,Hobnobs and I avoid all those. DC once got my Dad a large Jammy Dodger from Costa as a extra pressie.

I think I have to go with a popular dislike on the thread - Rich Tea, because they are in no way rich and turn into paste type stuff when dunked.

My international choice is Oreo. They exemplify everything mundane about American chocolate. When we lived in the US, I used to go to the deli and buy proper chocolate in a kind of homesickness way. Usually, it was Lindt or from Germany or Switzerland which only reinforced how much better than Hersheys other places can do. Don't get me wrong, there was some lovely foods on offer in New York but chocs and biscuits were not really among those. There were soft cookies, I guess, but they aren't really biscuits.

Which brings me to Maryland Cookies - not cookies in an American way and not a decent choc chip UK cookie either.

Pink wafer, shedding bits all over the place...

They are pretty yuk and very synthetic in colour.

Anyone mentioned iced topped biscuits? Look fancy, taste meh. Also, those Iced Gems are horrid.

I'm a 70s kid, chocolate biscuits were a rarity in most households and only really seen when visiting or having visitors.
I darent touch the biscuit plate till being told you could have one.

Ugh yes, horrible things.

My two favourites!

For me it would be the Mcvities oat biscuit. So rough, also ginger creams.

Biscuits with butter??? Who does that! 👀

Oh I love them! Only digestives and rich tea mind, I’m not a savage.

I noticed Abernethy biscuits in the shop for the first time yesterday, they look rather - austere.

They're ok with a bit of spready cheese.

Op does your boycott of sweet stuff include savoury crackers? I can recommend Ritz with a bit of butter and dolcelatte. I know dolce means sweet but if it's in forrin it doesn't count right?

(I keep meaning to do that thing where you chew crackers till they taste sweet to test your amylase response but then I'd have a whole packet of boring crackers to finish.)

drbeckyfitness.com/test-your-carb-tolerance-with-a-saltine-cracker/

Like a, rich tea abd custard cream. love malted milk.

You haven’t lived until you’ve had a digestive with butter 😂