What is the most miserable biscuit in existence?

[noblegiraffe]

DH and I are not eating sweet stuff for January and today he commented that he was so fed up with it he would even want to eat a really crap biscuit, so we were debating what that would be.

He reckoned the worst biscuit would be a Nice biscuit, but I think I would much rather eat one of those than a Garibaldi.

Is there a biscuit even more disappointing, that you would be less likely to accept an offer of than a Garibaldi biscuit?

When I worked in an office where we took it in turns to provide the biscuits I always bought fig rolls.

I hate their soggy texture and too sweet filling and it meant I could stick to my diet the week it was my turn!

Rich Tea - beyond bland, taste like cardboard and clag up in your throat.

Hit a nerve did it

Ginger nuts.

Haven't been able to look one of those in the face since I tried eating them to help quell morning sickness 25+ years ago.😐

Milk chocolate digestives are the most miserable biscuit in my opinion , because they are so far inferior to a dark chocolate hobnob that they shouldn’t be on the same shelf in the supermarkets

The M&S choclate covered custard creams and bourbons are so good. ( and must have been invented by an evil genius ) that they can only be bought as a Christmas treat , sadly

Nice and rich tea are both equally appalling

We used to call these dog biscuits.

I can't believe the hate for a custard cream. One of my favourite biscuits.

A Rich Tea is only miserable and dull when eaten alone. Dunked into a hot, strong cup of tea it is transformed. In fact the only reason to have a cup of tea is a pile of Rich Tea biscuits IMHO.

Without doubt the most miserable pointless biscuit is the Garibaldi. Followed by the Fig Roll. Oreos are vile, they taste gritty and weirdly metallic. I am also underwhelmed by Bourbons.

For all the custard cream haters, there is a Nigella recipe for homemade ones. I made them once, they were exceedingly good (proper custardy flavour) although I made them as trad rectangular mini sandwiches rather than the twee heart shaped. Alas with 3 gannet teenagers it was a lot of effort for 3 mins’ reward.

https://www.nigella.com/recipes/custard-cream-hearts

I'm not sure it's technically a biscuit but I have no time for oat cakes. They are dry and tasteless with a horrible texture with no nice crunch/snap to them. They taste like I imagine the stuff in a horse's nosebag would taste. If I am having a cheese plate I want a decent savoury tasting cracker. Oat cake schmoat cake.

A Rich Tea is only miserable and dull when eaten alone.

Chocolate spread perks them up!

Nice. Jammy dodgers. But very horribilest - wagon wheels

Langue de chat. Such a half arsed biscuit.

Rich Tea, definitely. Rich tea fingers are even worse as smaller! I'm not a fussy biscuit eater but those aren't worth the calories

Marie. How could I forget Marie? Surely the dullest biscuit on the planet? It's so dull it probably counts as a suitable healthy snack for a recently weened baby. Utterly joyless.

Half arsed

That makes no sense! Like one of those restaurant reviews that go, "the food all tasted awful, and the portions were way too small too!"

I'll tell you what looks and sounds dull but isn't. These.

https://www.sainsburys.co.uk/gol-ui/product/lu-le-petit-beurre-biscuits-167g?istCompanyId=1e096408-041f-4238-994e-a7cf46bf9413&istFeedId=689af7a8-5842-4d88-be59-1ee5688a81b5&istItemId=pmlxwtpra&istBid=t&&cmpid=cpc&utm_source=Google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=20333793068&utm_content=shopping&utm_term=%257Bsku%257D&utm_custom1=&utm_custom2=759-449-0952&gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAv628BhC2ARIsAIJIiK_OBebSEzM6BjYPwmIpcZQ1bg9Mu-KdB7V1MxRuHu6JdvWYpCOmPhYaAg2cEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Oh sorry not the original OP question but I do like those sugared trifle sponge fingers that go into the jelly part of the trifle. As in, when they are crunchy and “raw” with a sugary topping.

Can’t bear them when they’ve turned into a mushy mess in the jelly. Boak.

(How to tell someone that you grew up in the 70s/80s with Birds Trifle without telling them that you grew up in the 70s/80s with boxed Birds Trifle for Special Occasions).

Lemon Puff followed closely by Pink Wafers. Yuck.

Am I the only person who is disappointed by most of the contents of an m&s belgian biscuits collection? Those pointless wafer tubes, the even more pointless minute chocolate covered wafers dusted with coconut? Even the half dipped choc shortbread style ones. Meh!
I can only really get on board with the heavily chocolate coated rectangular ones with the pattern on them. They're OK

Rich tea (absolutely not even worthy of being called a biscuit).
custard cream
Bourbon cream
Pink wafer

Nice biscuit. I quite like a rich tea. They are nice with butter on top.

Two of my favourites. 😂

I'd blanked out all knowledge of Lincon biscuits before I saw the photo on this thread - they are truly awful.

Rich Tea are a bit blah on their own, but with proper salted butter, they are very moreish.