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Original poster

Dislike my DC's name. I can't change it, can I?

140 replies

chilliconcarneplease · 18/01/2025 08:54

No, I know I can't!

I got use to it (I didn't want her with that name but gave in when she was born under dangerous circumstances and said she can have any name as long as she's okay)

But now a singer I don't really like the look of has become popular and they're a Lola too Envy

So now my mind thinks of her.

Anyone else been through it and just forgotten about it all after a while? DD is 2.

Other daughter is Maria (who's 10) and I've always loved her name

OP posts:
icanatilldancetowhigfield · 18/01/2025 09:14

Focus on the cuteness of Charlie and Lola if you want a positive association. I miss reading these books.

Rachmorr57 · 18/01/2025 09:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

icanatilldancetowhigfield · 18/01/2025 09:14

I agree with you that Maria is a fantastic name!

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TheTruthHurtsDontIt · 18/01/2025 09:15

If it helps I know a Lola who is in a high up professional role and I don't think her name has slowed her down at all.

Does she have a middle name you could use, or she could use when she gets older if she doesn't like Lola?

Chersfrozenface · 18/01/2025 09:16

Lola is a Spanish name, a diminutive of Dolores. Lots of adult women in Spanish speaking countries and others, including the UK, are called Lola.

A neighbour's granddaughter is growing up with the name - not a problem.

Original poster
chilliconcarneplease · 18/01/2025 09:16

icanatilldancetowhigfield · 18/01/2025 09:14

I agree with you that Maria is a fantastic name!

Beautiful, isn't it? It was between that and Lydia with DD1. I also liked Vivienne but didn't like how there were too many spelling options

OP posts:
Fatloss · 18/01/2025 09:16

Your DD is getting used to her name. Change is hard for anyone but especially someone who has autism. She may not respond to Lola now but if you change it much harder.

ManchesterGirl2 · 18/01/2025 09:17

chilliconcarneplease · 18/01/2025 09:09

I just think it's so unprofessional and not really a grown ups name

I wasn't manipulated into calling her it but I did just let it go when I said what I said about the dangerous arrival

DH was thrilled and still loves it. And, I did choose Maria!

I think it will start to sound more professional and grown-up as all the young Lolas grow up and join the workplace. Also a lot of professional workplaces these days are becoming so international that most names aren't "classic British". At least Lola is easy to pronounce!

Original poster
chilliconcarneplease · 18/01/2025 09:18

I am from Andalusia region and I've never known a Lola, just a Dolores who sometimes went as Dolly!

OP posts:
JimHalpertsWife · 18/01/2025 09:19

Lola also has the benefit of being easy for her to learn to spell and write out, eventually.

AmateurNoun · 18/01/2025 09:22

The only thing that would put me off "Lola" as a name is that when I hear it I immediately hear Barry Manilow in Copa Cabana singing "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl". That springs to mind more than the Kinks.

But that song is going to be super ancient to kids these days so probably not relevant.

Artyblartfast · 18/01/2025 09:23

AmateurNoun · 18/01/2025 09:22

The only thing that would put me off "Lola" as a name is that when I hear it I immediately hear Barry Manilow in Copa Cabana singing "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl". That springs to mind more than the Kinks.

But that song is going to be super ancient to kids these days so probably not relevant.

I'm laughing because as soon as I started reading this thread I got that song in my head. Total earworm. My mum loved a bit of Barry 😁

oakleaffy · 18/01/2025 09:26

DustyLee123 · 18/01/2025 08:59

When I think of Lola, I think about the song by The Kinks.

I get a song in my head too...But one by Barry Manilow

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha

Tcateh · 18/01/2025 09:27

Your Lola might well get a mullet in 14 or so years.
I speak from experience of a daughter who has had every style and colour of hair and clothes to match over the years.

I think you need to change your negative mindset over her name.
It will just cause you and her stress.

She's 2.

oakleaffy · 18/01/2025 09:30

chilliconcarneplease · 18/01/2025 09:18

I am from Andalusia region and I've never known a Lola, just a Dolores who sometimes went as Dolly!

If you are of Spanish Heritage, Lola is fine!

TaggieO · 18/01/2025 09:31

Ok, I have a child with profound SEND so I know a bit about how it feels not long after diagnosis. Are you by any chance focusing on the name thing as a distraction? If she’s profoundly autistic enough to be diagnosed by 2, it’s already going to be much harder for her to learn to respond to her name. Don’t make it harder for her by changing it. I don’t think there’s any such thing as ‘professional’ names nowadays anyway. We have a doctor at work named Lola, and one named Precious. It certainly hasn’t stopped them!

MrsMitford3 · 18/01/2025 09:33

Lola Anderson just won a Gold medal at the Olympics in Womens rowing.
Not for the faint hearted.

It's a lovely name. Enjoy it!!

Suntosnow · 18/01/2025 09:34

What you could do is dd a middle name. When she gets older she'd have an option.

Legodaisy · 18/01/2025 09:35

The singer looks silly (had to google her). No one will have heard of her by the time your daughter is in school.

However if it’s bothering you, it’s bothering you. It seems to be associated with some trauma from her birth in your mind.

I would change her name to Lydia on her birth certificate and continue calling her Lola as a nickname. Then she can choose to switch between them as she pleases as she grows up (and so can you).

My daughter has a nickname (think Miriam and Mimi) and we all flit between the name and nickname without thinking twice.

GoodYawning · 18/01/2025 09:35

AmateurNoun · 18/01/2025 09:22

The only thing that would put me off "Lola" as a name is that when I hear it I immediately hear Barry Manilow in Copa Cabana singing "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl". That springs to mind more than the Kinks.

But that song is going to be super ancient to kids these days so probably not relevant.

Eww, Barry Manilow and that that god awful song. I can’t imagine people bopping along to that tune but they must have done.

Lola is a pretty name and the singer the OP refers to can’t be as bad as the cheesy Barry Manilow. 😷

sesquipedalian · 18/01/2025 09:36

“I just think it's so unprofessional and not really a grown ups name”

I knew a great girl called Lola when I was at university. There will always be someone else with your DC’s name who you may or may not like, but you say your DC suits it, so stick with it!

Sickoffamilydrama · 18/01/2025 09:36

Could it be that you feelings around the autism diagnosis are mixing in with her name? 2 is very young to be diagnosed so she must be quite affected by it.

You do go through almost a grieving process when you child is diagnosed for the child you imagined you would have and because of worrying about their future but you also can never know what any child will be like.

I was worried sick about our DD who is autistic especially for the teen years and so far she's doing well. Our DD who seemed to be all okay and would sail through life (even though she has ADHD) has been falling apart since GCSEs and A levels may break her.

Lola is a lovely name, we struggled with our son and after we named him I worried not helped by someone saying they didn't like the name and thought had we made a mistake but he's 8 loves his name.

Anewuser · 18/01/2025 09:36

I love the name Lola. After the kinks song. I like the tune, didn’t really know the words.

You don’t, and that’s ok, but you say she suits her name. So I think you should keep it.

I would go with what a PP said, and start calling her by a nick name. At the age of 2 it will stick pretty quickly.

Or do what my ancestors did, and use her middle name.

Lwrenn · 18/01/2025 09:37

my Dd is Eleanor and gets Elle, nell, nora and all sorts of names. She’s named after someone specific to me but I’d have loved a shorter name that like Lola is a culturally old name but is short and sweet.
Lola is a beautiful name and it suits adults and children alike. I think Lola is the name of the grandma in coco so it’s not an infantile name.
It’s pretty. Im having no more DC but Lola would be a choice for another DD.

JellyFlooding · 18/01/2025 09:38

What's her middle name? You could start using that?

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