Comments to threads that make you go FFS

[Doctorwhew]

Op: I’m starting a new role where the dress code is business smart. I’ve only ever worn jeans and T-shirts in previous jobs. Help please
Comment: I’ve always wfh so only wear loungewear

Op: John Doe has died, that’s so sad.
Comment: I’ve never heard of John Doe

Op: Lunch ideas please. I’m unable to eat bread or legumes.
Many many comments: I have beans on toast. Lentil soup is my go to. I love pita & hummus. Just make a sandwich.

On and on and on 😩

this struck a jangling nerve - it has happened to me twice,
once involving our 9 year old daughter on what at the time
was our local (East Dulwich) Forum,

then on here, both malignant, snide, cowardly

‘Some issue with a wedding invitation and OP not sure if they should go or not’

’its an invitation not a summons’ posted by about 12 different people as a reply

In a similar vein to the ‘I’m so sexy and have loads of sex, me’ posts, the ones on the menopause boards where a poster says how utterly exhausted they are,and asks if anyone feels that way and what do they do to help ease the symptoms. There will always be posters who say no they never feel exhausted, they are the fittest and strongest they’ve ever been, they cycle to the gym at 5.30am every morning, play tennis 4 times a week and do yoga 5 nights a week. Fuck. Right. Off.

When the OP isn't married, isn't on the mortgate/deeds and has been with their DP for years and then he leaves her suddenly someone will say "do better next time, expensive lesson to learn".
Well, yes, but how is that helpful?
Are we all so well planned?
I was living with my DP for seven years before we were married. We were always going to get married and I own half the house, (though the bank own most of it) and we made wills in anticipation of marriage. If he had dumped me I would have been devastated, and probably just about financially OK, but I was living my life assuming it was all great. And in the end, it was because we're married and very very happy.

So I can totally imagine the devastation if you're in a brilliant supportive relationship, with adult kids and then a DP does that. Such a mean reaction on MN is not helpful or sympathetic. And I'm sure such posters probably don't have everything in their lives sewn up properly. Just don't post it because it makes them look smug and uncaring.

The ones where an OP is dealing with an annoying/bitchy person and the replies either encourage her to say "did you mean to be so rude" or get more ridiculous as posters try to outdo each other from behind their keyboards "next time she speaks to you tell her you've always hated her, everyone she knows has always hated her and why does she go and drown her head in a vat of soup" type things. Like they or anyone else has ever said that stuff in real life.

OP: I have this complex legal situation

Response: OP, I'm a top-flight lawyer and here's some incredibly generic advice that came back on the first Google hit.

Me: Top-flight lawyer, really? 😏

OP: I hate my fucking little shit of a child today because of something awful they've done which has sent me to the end of my tether.

Response: I get you're angry, OP, but I can't get over the fact you swore about your child and called them "a little shit" on a completely anonymous forum. Maybe the problem is you.

Yes! I am always suspicious of anyone who claims to be a professional specialising in whatever problem the OP has - mainly because it is relentlessly drummed into lawyers / actuaries / accountants that they are not insured to give free advice to randoms.

Not only should they not give free advice you need to have the facts cross checked and ensure nothing has been missed.

Or "you do realise that".

So so patronising!

It isn't relentlessly drummed in. You might get told once on the LPC and your firm might tell you as well. Over a long career that is definitely not relentless!

OP is it a little early for children to be doing xwz, I am a bit nervous.
response, we were in the pits at that age in the 80’s and it never did us any harm.
response 2. Yes and everyone knows all child Murders are by their step dad.

I'm an author and I get a lot (well, maybe not a LOT, but a fair few) of reviews for my books in the nature of 'haven't started reading it yet, but cute cover! 3*'. I don't think they realise that this pulls our overall ranking down! Wait until you've read the book, then comment - but Amazon messages you when you've just downloaded/had it delivered, before you could reasonably be expected to have read the damn thing.

I’ve seen a few of those “you do realise that…” when the statement of wisdom that follows is factually incorrect.

Oh god yes, usually hideous and pouffie OR there’s the classic have you thought about a wrap dress …..

No because no-one has thought about buying a wrap dress in 10 years!

Op asks about telling her child about Christmas

replies tell her that her child knows already but is pretending not to, they never lied to their children and children know the truth coming out of the womb (‘what? Your child is 7 and still believes?!’)

op worries about young child walking to school alone

replies- oh my god kids are so coddled nowadays- I walked to school as a toddler!!

Oh God, there was a post recently from someone who got caught for mobile phone whilst driving. She had paid the fine but misunderstood about sending her licence in and had got a summons. Anyone know what she should do? Go to court or something else.
Eleventy billion responses saying she should be ashamed, she could have killed someone and let hope she is jailed

OP- my doctor told me to increase medication following that protocol but I’m having side effects. Is that normal?
Poster- well your doctor is wrong. You must follow that protocol instead. Your doctor must have got his information from SM. Don’t believe him or trust him!

Why why should the OP trust advice from a stranger on SM more than her doctor? Esp after telling the OP said information her doc git from SM was unreliable 😂😂

The disbelieving posts that appear whenever anyone says they earn over 200k, they often pitch up in threads about mumsnet tropes alongside ones about the fabled mumsnet chicken, but if anyone on a thread where it’s relevant posts that they earn over 200k, there will inevitably be a poster who sneers “as if those earning 200k+ spend their time on mn”, clearly thinking they’ve a gotcha post right there.

Quite why they think a high earner wouldn’t be posting here is beyond me… they’ll still have issues with family/work/schools/pets/etc … when I replied along those lines to someone in the past, they retorted that I would be living such a jet-set lifestyle on my 200k that I would have far more interesting things to do than post here, kinda forgetting that if I’m earning that amount I clearly have a job, so could be posting during a break, or over lunch, or while commuting, etc. it’s not all yachts and 5 star hotels! (Or not at all yachts, as a matter of fact)

Oh, and ‘could it be peri?’

Peri-what??
Perinatal? Peri-arrest? Peri-operative?
Obviously I know they mean peri-menopause, but the inappropriate use of the prefix ‘peri’ irritates me! Maybe I’m peri…

“I need a name for a boy, 4 syllables, starting with the letter A.”

”Maeve.”

And peri seems to last some people about twenty years.

It may just have been my company then (an actuarial consultancy owned by a US parent). We had loads of presentations by compliance to say what we could get sued (or get the company sued) for.

That depends on how you define peri menopause. I started getting my first symptoms in my 40's. Bleeding stopped early 50's I am now in my 70's and still get the flushes and dizziness although massively reduced. I never used HRT because at the time, there were many fewer options and the one I would use made me worse. I wouldn't use premarin.

Do you think the flushes and dizziness are connected to the menopause, if you're in your 70s? Have you spoken to a doctor about that?