Ds wants the biggest room.

[I4gotmyname]

Ds keeps asking for a room swap. He's doing my head in . For past 4 days all I have heard is mum let me explain.

He then gos on to say please could we do a room swap . He's asking for A* to have his room . M to have A room and him to have M* room and E stay where he is.

Basically teen ds wants the largest room. I told him no as we have that set up for a reason . Ds has a middle size room. Easy get a double bed. His wardrobes , drawers and snake enclosure, also his gaming set up and still plenty of floor space.

Then he's bugging me but there's no where to put my snake can I at least put it in your room. Me no . Then he gos on and on to get the same answer.

Today its can me and E* at least swap beds . He has a small double . E* also has the smallest room . Again told him no.

Oh and also can i put the stake in the airing cupboard. Its a large walk on one . Told him no again. Thats where I dry my washing.

I don't get his thinking . I get he may ask. But he's spent 4 days going on and on.

"Darling - the answer is no".

Don't let him bugger you and siblings into his ideas.

My DD's ball/royal python's viv sits on top of a 4x2 kallax. If she were taller it could be on a 4x3.

It’s a need not a want.

Oh really???? How do you know that @TY78910 ?

Alternatively, he’s a selfish lad who thinks his wants override everyone else’s. From @I4gotmyname ‘s posts, I can see no actual rational reason that he needs the largest bedroom. He has room for a double bed, his snake vivarium, and a desk + chair.

He has 3 other siblings. They also need adequate space.

But then I grew up in a large family with the option of a shared bedroom - absolutely normal - or a tiny room with room for a single bed, a desk and drawers under the bed. No big desk, gaming chair etc.

He sounds quite self-centred. Typical teenager, but his selfish wants do not determine the household arrangements.

Is his room is a bit cramped with the snake enclosure in it?

Could the snake go in another room (living room etc?)

Why did he get the snake in the first place if his room was too small for it?

Perhaps he should think about getting rid of the snake if it's bothering him.

I think the snake is a red herring.

The tank will be 4.5ftx1.5ft, or at most 5ftx2ft. It can happily sit on a kallax unit. My DD's room is smaller and she has room (but only has single bed). I am happy for snake in her room, but would be less happy in a communal space!

He is also putting up getting a smaller bed as an option. I don't see why that isn't an option.

I know he is tall and shares with his boyfriend but he knows both of these so must be happy he can cope.

What? How is letting him have a pet some kind of signal that he can do what he wants? Surely it teaches him responsibility more than anything.

OP the next time he brings it up say ‘all this room chat has made me think that you’ll be an adult next year and your sibling will still have the smallest room. I think it would be fair to switch you into that one’

As a practical solution... is the furniture arranged in the most effective way? Get him to map out the room,there might be adjustments that can be made. And use the full height of the room.

I think you just need to refuse to discuss this with him. If he starts, have a stock phrase like, "I'm not discussing this with you any longer," and then ignore him.

It might be worth letting him have the smaller double bed, though, if he and his boyfriend would both fit in it? And if the child he's swapping with doesn't mind having a bigger bed? Which most kids wouldn't, I don't think.

Also, totally off-topic, but I presume your Grandson is from an older child? You are very good to have him to stay when you have a house full already!

I really don't think anyone should be teaching a teenager that if a living thing is an inconvenience you can just get rid of it.

removed post as had already been suggested

This is your house. How old is the child? If they're young, you need to guide them instead of letting them do whatever they want.

When we moved in our house it was a rule already set that our eldest 20 has the biggest room out of the 2 rooms we hadn't chosen and the 17 year old has the next size.

Bollocks is it a need. Some people just have trouble telling their kids no. I wouldn't even be entertaining the different bed thing unless he can articulate what be needs the extra space for. He has a bee in his bonnet, it does sound a bit like an ND response. I'd try and encourage him to focus on the why but also reiterate that him wanting something does not equal getting it, sometimes the answer is just no.

No the snake is not going in the living room

The room is not cramped ( at all)

I’d say no and also be getting rid of the snake, but that’s unrelated, just because I hate snakes. Mind you I’d never have agreed in the first place to that

He can get a smaller bed if he wants but he's not having his brothers bed . Then i will give it a week till he's moaning there's no room in the bed for him and his boyfriend.

He moves his room round at least once a month. How he has it at the moment looks good .

His bed is under the window. As in the side of the bed . Then at the foot of his bed he's put the snake/viv then next to the snake he's got his gaming set up . He's put his wardrobe behinde the door. So the snake is not even taking up floor space

This, children don't want double beds, they want floor space to be able to play?

People keep flagging that he likely wants to be able to get the snake out of the viv to play /exercise. Is there really space in his room to do that with a full size double bed in there? Id bet not, it would have to be a very big room.
I dont think hes unreasonable if this is about wanting to be able to get his pet out and having the floor space to do that, he's suggested the compromise of him having a smaller bed, i dont think he's that unreasonable

In that case, why would he suddenly feeling content with the bigger room?
Isnt he likely to grumble that something else isn’t right again?

Wondering if his ‘I need the bigger room’ doesn’t hide another (unmet) need that would be easier/better to fill iyswim

I keep saying he has plenty of floor space. And why should the other kids who still play with toys . Suffer for him . Take away their space so they have less room to play . And also less room when GS is over . All for the sake of a snake and 17 year old wanting his own way

Well tell him this and your problems are solved.

Small room =double bed . Small amount of floor space there' but room for small level play . Like of he's playing with action figures or doing bit of art or something.

Twin bedroom has 2 singles also 3rd spare mattress. For GS . There is flexibility within theses 2 rooms. GS has autism which can really effect him. Sometimes he needs to be completely on his own . So he may go into the small room. Sometimes the double bed may be shared. Depending on their feelings

My own ds also has autism. And he will often remove himself if he's not coping well by going to the other room .

Sometimes all 3 or 2 of them share the big room.

Sorry its not explained well. Its according to their needs at the time