Ds wants the biggest room.

[I4gotmyname]

Ds keeps asking for a room swap. He's doing my head in . For past 4 days all I have heard is mum let me explain.

He then gos on to say please could we do a room swap . He's asking for A* to have his room . M to have A room and him to have M* room and E stay where he is.

Basically teen ds wants the largest room. I told him no as we have that set up for a reason . Ds has a middle size room. Easy get a double bed. His wardrobes , drawers and snake enclosure, also his gaming set up and still plenty of floor space.

Then he's bugging me but there's no where to put my snake can I at least put it in your room. Me no . Then he gos on and on to get the same answer.

Today its can me and E* at least swap beds . He has a small double . E* also has the smallest room . Again told him no.

Oh and also can i put the stake in the airing cupboard. Its a large walk on one . Told him no again. Thats where I dry my washing.

I don't get his thinking . I get he may ask. But he's spent 4 days going on and on.

Adding another bed in his room would give him even less room . Plus it nlt fair to over crowded the larger room. As that's the kids play space. And its sort of multi use die to the sen . Sometimes end up with 3 kids in that room

If he's tall and shares a bed sometimes a small double will be horrible. Is there any kind of shelving/storage solution that would help him feel more organised? Or even a paint job to make the room look cleaner and bigger? I stupidly painted one of my DS' walls dark blue and mine dark green without thinking how dark it looks. We repainted his wall light blue and it made a huge difference to the look.

It will go with him . They are super easy to be honest. He probably want it to have its own room 🤣

I will suggest to him to repaint it and think of different storage . He may feel different then . Its is quite dull

It does seem to be related to the snake. If he got the larger room or the smaller bed would he then be happy to still have the snake in his bedroom?

If so that suggests he is concerned the current arrangements aren't suitable for the snake. If that is the case then you need to make changes to accommodate the needs of the snake.

I will do. Its not a need its a want. His room is plenty big enough .

The snake is in an enclosure. Have more space bigger room does not give the snake more room . He has plenty of room . Going from a 4ft 6. To a 4ft makes no difference 6 inches is nothing for the room he has

If you are tall, you need a king sized bed as it is longer as well as wider.

Extra long single with a pop up trundle would work.

Or take the small double, and give child who had small double before a single bed.

In my house parents get first dabs, eldest child gets second dabs, second child gets third dabs, youngest child last dabs.

Tell that kid that it doesn’t hurt him to want.
He can want all of 2025 and still come out alive in 2026.

Have you considered a double loft bed? Would give a lot of extra space underneath and that and a paint job would make a big difference.
Facebook marketplace is often good value for 2nd hand furniture.

Depends a bit what the plan is for next year, is he likely to be away to university soon or studying/working while living at home?

No because that's part of the special needs set up.

Not in this house . There's sen /special needs there's a reason for the set up

There no way a loft bed would work . Hows a 6ft 4 person going to situp. I keep saying he has a good size room

Is it not a bit cruel to keep a snake hostage in a glass jar

poor thing

I would say that the bedrooms aren't moving and neither will there be a bed swap. But, you're happy to look at buying a smaller bed for his birthday.

In the meantime, a good clear out, sort and tidy up might make a big difference, maybe more storage or indeed looking at re-arranging the existing furniture.

As I say to my daughter, if you can't fit your stuff in your room, then you have too much stuff. Learning to fit your belongings into your space, is a useful skill (as is the associated decluttering).

Okay then just the extra long single with pop up trundle for guest. Would give lots of extra space on a day to day basis.

Or a platform double - not a loft in the sense of top bunk bed but waist height which would free up a load of space for storage - for example clothes and then you could get rid of wardrobe and create more space.

Well it depends rather on the height of the ceiling doesn't it!

Has he said what he wants, Is it more floor space, more storage, more furniture? Or has he just decided its Not Fair that the younger kids have the bigger room? But it doesn't sound like that if he is suggesting a smaller bed might help.
So other than just telling him to put up and shut up offering an alternative like better storage solutions and re decorating might solve the issue.
Is there room for any de cluttering in there? Ditch unworn clothes etc.

Does he have ASD?

I'm asking because I have a 17yo ds with ASD who will come out with this sort of thing, and try and "debate" it with me. He'll give me all sorts of arguments and discussions around something that isn't going to happen - and realistically he knows it.

I think it's a mixture of quite enjoying the debate (my df is like that), seeing what will happen and if he can get something out of it, and interest.

I find the most successful way is normally to let him have a say and give my reply. He'll then go away and respond, and I respond again.
In your case I'd suggest that he talks to his siblings and them saying "I do not want to move" is a perfectly good enough answer.
Sometimes I am surprised and he'll come back with sibling and say "this is what we think will work" - he is the youngest though, so I am confident that they wouldn't just say yes for a quiet life.

Ds, when his big sister went to uni, was for turning her room into an aviary and her sleeping in the lounge when she came back. The answer was no, never going to change.

He has an ongoing one about exchanging our family car for a tank. It's actually really funny, but it's been running for about 4 years now.

Trundle will not work he's still going to have to pull it out which will then still take up the same space . Plus he then won't have underbed storage

Seems a confusing set up but maybe that’s partly the way it’s been explained. I think it’s reasonable to tell him no to swapping rooms or furniture with any of the other children if they’re all happy. I would tell him he’s welcome to find solutions to his room by rearranging his existing furniture or that he can buy new furniture if he wants a different bed or storage but that you’re not moving anybody or anything else. If he can’t cope with the snake in his room maybe he needs to rehome it.

I just found the room measurements.
Small room is 8m2
Both doubles are 12m2
Twin room is 14m2
My room is 18m2

This is why you shouldn’t have so many kids.

What a stupid comment. They all have a room each!