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Original poster

Ds wants the biggest room.

135 replies

I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:01

Ds keeps asking for a room swap. He's doing my head in . For past 4 days all I have heard is mum let me explain.

He then gos on to say please could we do a room swap . He's asking for A* to have his room . M to have A room and him to have M* room and E stay where he is.

Basically teen ds wants the largest room. I told him no as we have that set up for a reason . Ds has a middle size room. Easy get a double bed. His wardrobes , drawers and snake enclosure, also his gaming set up and still plenty of floor space.

Then he's bugging me but there's no where to put my snake can I at least put it in your room. Me no . Then he gos on and on to get the same answer.

Today its can me and E* at least swap beds . He has a small double . E* also has the smallest room . Again told him no.

Oh and also can i put the stake in the airing cupboard. Its a large walk on one . Told him no again. Thats where I dry my washing.

I don't get his thinking . I get he may ask. But he's spent 4 days going on and on.

OP posts:
Original poster
I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:34

HeddaGarbled · 02/01/2025 20:27

Sorry, it isn’t making sense. Why would he want to swap with the sibling who has the smallest room?

Sorry

Ds wants the biggest room . Out of the siblings . If he can't have the biggest room then he wants the small double bed to put in his room. To give him more space . And give his standard double for the smallest room ... or he wants his snake in my room.

OP posts:
Original poster
I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:35

HighlandCowbag · 02/01/2025 20:26

Is the snake in need of a new, bigger viv that there's not enough room for? Is that the problem?

No it's all fine size wise

OP posts:
MyNewLife2025 · 02/01/2025 20:36

If I get it right, M currently has the biggest bedroom.
And E the smallest bedroom.
Can I ask why when M and E are so close in age (so I assume both need the most space re toys)?

Having said that, I agree with him staying put.

TickingAlongNicely · 02/01/2025 20:36

Why does he think he hasn't got enough room?

Can he sell his bed to buy a smaller one? Or use pocket money etc?

BlueSilverCats · 02/01/2025 20:38

Has he said why? Like an actual well thought out reason?

MyNewLife2025 · 02/01/2025 20:40

Is there somewhere else the snake can go?? Not your bedroom! But the living room? A distant shed just for the snake?

I mean wanting the make everyone swap room is all nice. But it’s assuming that the other 2 people involved will be happy with that. I somehow doubt M will be happy to ‘loose’ the biggest bedroom

Upstartled · 02/01/2025 20:40

It's only been four days - I'd need a lot more dedication to whining to go to the fuss or rearranging all the rooms.

TeenToTwenties · 02/01/2025 20:41

He would have even more space if he got rid of his double bed and had a single instead.

He wants more floor space. Why not look to see how much a second hand single / dmalk double is?

(Ps what kind of snake? My DD has a royal python in her room.)

Comff · 02/01/2025 20:42

I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:34

Sorry

Ds wants the biggest room . Out of the siblings . If he can't have the biggest room then he wants the small double bed to put in his room. To give him more space . And give his standard double for the smallest room ... or he wants his snake in my room.

Show quote history

I think that’s a good idea. He’s willing to have a smaller bed so that his snake has more room. He sounds like a good pet owner and I support him.

Do you have the budget to sell his current bed and buy him a smaller one?

Chillilounger · 02/01/2025 20:43

It doesn't matter what his reasons are it's your house and you have set the rooms out that way for a reason. Time to sit him down and tell him enough is enough. What are your consequences for him trying to railroad you into doing what he wants? I would spell those out and follow through. Don't let him bully you.

HPandthelastwish · 02/01/2025 20:44

Does he want a smaller bed to have more room?
Is there no room for the snake in his current set up as it needs a bigger viv? Or is there no room to have the snake out of the Viv for exercise?

5431go · 02/01/2025 20:45

Off topic … but What will you do with the snake when he leaves home ? 😂

I could not cope with having snakes/spiders/lizards in my house, would freak me out!

Letstheriveranswer · 02/01/2025 20:45

I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:34

Sorry

Ds wants the biggest room . Out of the siblings . If he can't have the biggest room then he wants the small double bed to put in his room. To give him more space . And give his standard double for the smallest room ... or he wants his snake in my room.

Show quote history

Oh, in that case I'd offer to get DS a single bed so he has more room for his snake!

Or he can save up to buy a small double for himself.

Unless of course the other child actually wants a full size double and would be happy to trade it for his small double.

HPandthelastwish · 02/01/2025 20:47

In that case I would ask the others if they want to swap their bed for a bigger one or tell him to save up and buy his own bed and mattress

TY78910 · 02/01/2025 20:47

TickingAlongNicely · 02/01/2025 20:36

Why does he think he hasn't got enough room?

Can he sell his bed to buy a smaller one? Or use pocket money etc?

He may be 17 but still a child and IMO it's not his responsibility to be buying his bed. I find it weird that this country classes 16yos as mini adults just because they have the option to leave school. It's an odd mentality (for those about to argue he's old enough yada yada)

Anyways. Late teen kid says he needs more space. He believes that, OP you don't but you're not the one living in that room. He's tried to come up with multiple ways to solve the problem and bring you the solutions. You've shut down all of them.

Can you help him get rid of this bed and get a small double from Facebook marketplace or something?

LostittoBostik · 02/01/2025 20:49

"You're 18 soon. If you don't like the room that's available here you can move out. Please do not mention it to me again as I will not be changing my mind"

TickingAlongNicely · 02/01/2025 20:54

TY78910 · 02/01/2025 20:47

He may be 17 but still a child and IMO it's not his responsibility to be buying his bed. I find it weird that this country classes 16yos as mini adults just because they have the option to leave school. It's an odd mentality (for those about to argue he's old enough yada yada)

Anyways. Late teen kid says he needs more space. He believes that, OP you don't but you're not the one living in that room. He's tried to come up with multiple ways to solve the problem and bring you the solutions. You've shut down all of them.

Can you help him get rid of this bed and get a small double from Facebook marketplace or something?

Show quote history

If he wanted designer trainers, when he had adequate trainers, there would be an expectation of him paying towards him.
Or snacks when he had had dinner

He has a bed. He just doesn't like it.

Nothing to do with being a "mini adult".

Original poster
I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:55

MyNewLife2025 · 02/01/2025 20:36

If I get it right, M currently has the biggest bedroom.
And E the smallest bedroom.
Can I ask why when M and E are so close in age (so I assume both need the most space re toys)?

Having said that, I agree with him staying put.

ds 9 and 8 originally shared the large room. Ds 8 then asked if he can go into the small room so I said yes. But he still often sleeps in the large room with ds9

Also they still both play so the larger room gives them that space. There's also still 2 beds in there. Which is used for when GS stays .

There also special needs and the set up works for that to .

OP posts:
Original poster
I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:57

Comff · 02/01/2025 20:42

I think that’s a good idea. He’s willing to have a smaller bed so that his snake has more room. He sounds like a good pet owner and I support him.

Do you have the budget to sell his current bed and buy him a smaller one?

Show quote history

The snake does not need more room . It's in an enclosure .

OP posts:
yamafi · 02/01/2025 20:57

Sit down and talk to him about his options. Moving rooms isn't an option but can his room be changed to utilise space? Punishing him for having an opinion is not the answer. Tell him you're not giving him your room but are open to ideas and compromise.

TY78910 · 02/01/2025 20:59

TickingAlongNicely · 02/01/2025 20:54

If he wanted designer trainers, when he had adequate trainers, there would be an expectation of him paying towards him.
Or snacks when he had had dinner

He has a bed. He just doesn't like it.

Nothing to do with being a "mini adult".

Show quote history

The issue here isn’t designer trainers, it’s space. It’s a need not a want. He feels uncomfortable in his room and has come up with four different ways of solving this issue. Sometimes people are so hung up on ‘no means no’ because of ego, as opposed to actually listening to the other person and hearing what and why they need something. OP’s opinion is that he has space, he may feel squashed in with his double bed, drawers and wardrobes, tank and whatever else he’s got there.

im not saying yeah defo uproot everybody and swap rooms, but a smaller bed or moving the snake isn’t the worst idea. Can’t the snake be in a more communal area? Do the other kids not like it?

wordler · 02/01/2025 21:00

I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 20:35

No it's all fine size wise

Show quote history

Why does everyone have double beds - growing up all kids I knew had singles. Sell the double bed and get him a single bed. Then he’d have a lot more space. Or even a single loft bed with space underneath for storage or a desk etc.

Seems a much easier solution than everyone swapping rooms.

Original poster
I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 21:01

TeenToTwenties · 02/01/2025 20:41

He would have even more space if he got rid of his double bed and had a single instead.

He wants more floor space. Why not look to see how much a second hand single / dmalk double is?

(Ps what kind of snake? My DD has a royal python in her room.)

It's a ball python.

OP posts:
Original poster
I4gotmyname · 02/01/2025 21:10

wordler · 02/01/2025 21:00

Why does everyone have double beds - growing up all kids I knew had singles. Sell the double bed and get him a single bed. Then he’d have a lot more space. Or even a single loft bed with space underneath for storage or a desk etc.

Seems a much easier solution than everyone swapping rooms.

Show quote history

Because there is enough room. Ds is also 6ft 4 so a single won't work . Plus his boyfriend stays over sometimes.

OP posts:
allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 02/01/2025 21:17

@I4gotmyname if he has a king size now then going down to a double is only six inches narrower. hardly worth the bother of swapping beds!! can his king size bed go in the big room with one of the single beds so there is a single bed free for him to use in his room??? if he has a double and wants to go down to a small double then it is still only 6 inches narrower.