I saw that thread and I might repost this reply on there too..
The Utopian idea of the village that supports families with new borns is based on unwritten contracts between the villagers and the families where grandparents gave up their jobs / businesses / houses to help the next generation, looked after children so parents could work and in return expected to be housed and cared for in their old age. The wider village community each plays a part in meeting the needs of the community, with each person giving and receiving.
We have stepped away from that, to some extent and in some extend not. We no longer expect child care to be provided within our own family circles nor do we expect to have to take care of our elder family members. In fact, the broader state does that for us in the form of school from age 4 and old age care in later life.
We have also moved away from the utopian model in that we have sufficient income to have bigger houses, more things, more leisure activities, more expectations and more wishes, that take our time away from looking after our children and our houses. In a victorian two up, two down house, with three generations of family living in it, and a toilet in the garden, there was no time to think about cleaning the toilet, hosting visitors and engaging in intimate bonding with your child - you cleaned the front step, nodded at your neighbours and kept your family alive.
The upper layers of society could afford to host guests, have polished silver, starched linens and manicured lawns, but this was done by staff.
It is unreasonable to expect the Utopian village to show up unless you and your family has also paid into this village contract. There are and were, many issues with life in this Uptopian village - perpetuation of family patterns, oppression of women, abuse of children - and there are many benefits of the new societal model - fewer people fall through the cracks, exposure to outside influences is largely positive and people more are financially independent. We are in danger of idolising the 'indigenous' ideals without understanding that our modern world brings with it, many many benefits and that there is no 'ideal'.
Having said all of that, I do think we should think about how we want to be supported in the post partum period and that we should put steps in place to make that happen. Sophie Messager has written a book called 'Why Post Partum Matters', in this she explores post partum cultures in different places, including in Europe and talks about how we can build these in to our modern lives, working out exactly how much this costs and how we can fund it. Some of this will be in the form of paid for services, others will be in the form of reciprocal support. We can not expect other people to make us food, if this is something that we have never done for others, but there are many meal services we can pay for.
Mothers and young babies, absolutely benefit from being supported and many women find the early months, isolating and lonely. There are many forms of support available, drop in mother and baby sessions led by health visitors, mother and baby groups in church halls, pre and post natal NCT groups, community groups - I googled what was available in one medium sized UK town and there were about 10 free listings and many more paid options, where connections, friends and sources of support are made.
Oh - this is turning into a blog post...
In the Netherlands, the kraamzorg nurse provides daily check ups and basic house keeping services for the first week after birth - 49 hours in total. In the UK, midwife and health visitor system focuses on the health of the mother and baby, identifying families that need more support and putting them in touch with the services that can provide that - however, this is no where near the level of cleaning and providing food. In many 'cultures' - (I use that loosely, as I do feel we are in danger of idealising cultural models that have been gently unravelled due to the harms that result from these models, outweighing the benefits and the benefits from a more independent society, outweighing the harms of a more interdependent society. I also say that hesitantly, as we absolutely do benefit from human interaction, service to and support from others. Somewhere in between, lies the perfect village, where we all help each other, everyone had enough, there are no bombs, no guns and no diseases - hmm... that would make a good song!!)... as I was saying - in many cultures, women support other women in birth and post partum, cooking, cleaning and looking after older children in the weeks after birth. There is a lot to be said for this model of support, but this is unpaid work... and most women in our culture do not have capacity to provide this service and those who wish to do so and be paid for this work, actually find it very difficult to be compensated for it.
too much for this thread. - probably!!