Only on Mumsnet...

[SushiSheep]

...have I heard the terms "norks", "tinkly laugh", "naice" bread/ham/area, CF (Cheeky Fucker), LTB (Leave the Bastard) and "get your ducks in a row" (when leaving the bastard!)

What are your 'Only on MN' things?

Oooh, shoplifter alert!

To me, "naice" would be pronounced "nay-ce" but with the vowel sound half way between A and E.
Sorry I know what I mean but hard to put into words 😃

Hmm... I'm assuming it's meant to be a posh or affected way of saying it, but I just can't "hear" the difference! Maybe I am already posh and affected and that's why

I'm Scottish so with my accent it's probably completely wrong anyway!

Naice as in Waitrose

We use the pronunciation "Noyce" (like Joyce with an N) to express the Fancy Nice sentiment.

Oh my word this thread is horrendous! What a bunch of horrible people piling on to the OP!

(I can definitely say the MN term ‘viper’ is 100% spot on for the thread!)

I wonder if the people who were posting comments like that during Covid ever look back and reflect on themselves. Doubtful.

Here's another "only on MN" - "indie" to mean a private school.

The use of 'gotten' in place of 'got'.

I was today's years old...

Tell me you're an XYZ* *without telling me you're an XYZ.

“This” when agreeing with another post, drives me mad! Just say “I agree” like you would in real life!

”go NC”, no one would ever say that in every day conversation.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen the word ubiquitous used outside of the S&B board but it seems like it’s every other post, usually about floral dresses and Vejas.

Dogs aren’t animals, they’re fury humans and should be treated like a human baby being taken everywhere as they are as important

Normal to earn 6 figure salary

It’s great your DH makes lots of new younger attractive female ‘friends’ and your a psycho of if you dare suggest it could be a red flag and you’re not comfortable with it

Private school is quite the norm

I keep thinking about a post i saw the other day. It was a thread about spending £18k on a holiday and someone came on to suggest that instead of spending all the money on a holiday (which the OP could afford, and wanted to do), then should buy an event horse for £16k and then go to Tenerife in September. An event horse! OP wasn't a horsey person. It's just the weirdest suggestion I've ever seen and just peak mumsnet for me

Yes @HorrorFan81 Those types of responses are hilarious.
Similarly "Thinking of moving to Cambridge, any advice?"

• "What about Kathmandu? Have you considered that? It's got good public transport, but driving is OK too as long as you avoid the one way system on a Friday afternoon then you might want to reconsider..."

You might want to hop on over onto the thread on AIBU about Americanisms that people hate, because there you will discover that many parts of the British Isles use the word 'gotten' and it's completely acceptable. We generally say 'gotten' as the default in NI, it's also commonplace in Scotland and Ireland. So this is not a uniquely Mumsnet word by any stretch of the imagination. People on here (read English people) seem to get their knickers in a twist about it because apparently they OWN the English language that is spoken by millions around the world. In fact more of the English speaking world uses 'gotten' than 'got'.

There was also one about a birthday party where someone didn't RSVP and someone came along to say that throwing a party was a waste of money and she should have just organised to take her child and his friends to the park and to feed some ducks. In minus degrees

Nope. Used widely IRL and so so true!

I was today's years old...
Tell me you're an XYZ without telling me you're an XYZ.

I absolutely hate both of these.

Also -
Boils my piss
Makes my teeth itch

Agree with the above and also despise “I lost my shit”, it’s a horrible, vulgar phrase and tbh conjures up an image of someone being faecally incontinent to me, which I don’t think is what the poster intended!

I'm sure it's already been mentioned, but I absolutely love the overly formal responses suggested when someone's been asked for an awkward favour/invited to an inconvenient hen party/anything they want to decline where a simple "sorry, no can do" would be enough.

"Dear almost-certainly-about-to-become-ex-friend. As you are aware, my financial situation/personal morals/time constraints do not align with this request, and as such I will not be assisting/attending at this time. I wish you all the best with your future endeavours. Kind Regards."

I'm sure it's already been mentioned, but I absolutely love the overly formal responses suggested when someone's been asked for an awkward favour/invited to an inconvenient hen party/anything they want to decline where a simple "sorry, no can do" would be enough.

MN can be over-formal in general. One that gets me is when anyone describes an argument on a night out or at a party etc. and someone replies, “Had drink been taken?”.

Had drink been taken?! Who the fuck talks like that?! Don’t you just mean “Were you drunk?”?

Yes, I think it's supposed to make it sound less privileged and more Jarvis Cocker-esque.

I do hear people IRL say "independent school" (obviously, only ever people who send their children there and don't want to say "private school"), but never indie! Yes, makes it sound like some rebel homeschooling co-operative where the children strum guitars and have edgy haircuts.

This is a written forum, it’s just an abbreviation to type more quickly surely?

i just typed “inde” and my phone predicted “independent”. It was easier than typing “indie”!

So I used to think this too then I got recognised- and by someone I hadn't even met! It was a colleague of my husbands and she told him she thought she'd seen me posting and recognised the details (the post was to do with an injury our son had). I'd actually changed details to make it less outing but she still recognised me. Was horrified and immediately namechanged, will be doing regularly now