Only on Mumsnet...

[SushiSheep]

...have I heard the terms "norks", "tinkly laugh", "naice" bread/ham/area, CF (Cheeky Fucker), LTB (Leave the Bastard) and "get your ducks in a row" (when leaving the bastard!)

What are your 'Only on MN' things?

I once spent a very long time explaining to a colleague that it was not a “bum fight”. He thought it was like a fight between down and outs 😄

Another one I forgot - the insane threads that crop up every so often about children not eating their bread crusts. Apparently allowing this is not only a ridiculous indulgence that will mean they have no resilience to cope with adult life, but also lead to teenagers being horrendously hungry and raiding the fridge 15 minutes later.

A crust of bread probably contains ten calories at most! The idea that it makes even the slightest difference to your hunger level - or that teenagers will suddenly be saying “Ooh no, I couldn’t possibly” at the sight of a bag of crisps or a Mars bar after eating one - is hilarious.

I always ate my crusts <cos I’m good> and granny said they’d make my teeth curly and my hair white.

Only on MN do 100% of people use "Bought" and "Brought" incorrectly and will not be told otherwise.

Only on MN do people "brought something in a shop" and "bought something with them"

So for 2025, please can you all understand that:-

BROUGHT = BRING!!!!
BOUGHT = BUY!!!

People claiming they never bitch, judge or make bitchy/judgy comments. I have friends of whom it’s part of our friendship and in-jokes that we moan about our very own Amanda (from Motherland) and what annoying and smug things she’s done this week. If we said things IRL to each other that people say on MN - “Wow, why so nasty, maybe she’s ND or is having a hard time with her sister? Ever think of that? I can’t believe you spend your time thinking about this woman” etc - it would be considered fucking weird rather than just joining in the fun of disliking the same insufferable arsehole

There’s a thread at the moment where someone had said their mate puts their 8yo in the box room and then uses a bigger room for her hobby, and how she thinks this so wrong. In the real world, if your mate said this, you’d respond “Yeah that’s really shit poor kid”. On MN it’s basically a bun fight as to who is the least judgmental about this situation. I know someone who has a 3 bed house and makes her 11 and 9yo (who can’t stand each other) share a room so that her and her husband can have a room each as she “doesn’t like his snoring”. I think that’s shit and I told a friend who agreed. I’d find a friend insufferable if she said “You must be a perfect parent I’m assuming, don’t be so judgy” 😂

I always say I brought something from the shop. Technically correct, but for some reason people "froth" about it. It is fun to drop it on a thread and see the twistiness...

Sanpro

How can it be 100% when you are "correcting" it?

Not quite 100%. I use these terms correctly - even on Mumsnet. But I'm not rude enough to subject people to a SPAG lecture when all they're doing is talking about a trip to Sainsbury's on social media. I'm not their English teacher marking their essays.

But do you mean Buy or Bring?

Yes you can bring things from shops, but that does not convey that you bought it.

There has been quite a lot of "ducks in a row" threads over the last few weeks.

It is usually just dropped to create a "wait, what"?

But I mean bring. I bought it in the shop, then brought it from there.

Just catching up on here.
You've all been very busy 😉

Another I've come across a couple of times is "No is a complete sentence".

Think - as in "I have a very stressful job (think air traffic controller).

Either that's your job or it isn't. Unless your job is top secret why not just tell us. Or you could say (eg ATC).

Where the "think" comes from on MN I have no idea

That's just reminded me of having a hobby that's "outing" 😂

Similar to "see also".

I reckon I've seen 'think' used instead of 'for example' elsewhere - maybe in the sorts of magazines you find (or used to find) in waiting rooms. Probably being used in a more 'evocative' sense eg when discussing fashion or interior design.

Only on MN do you learn that all the naughty kids (chair throwers etc) are SEN and anyone over 50 who does anything remotely odd has dementia!

Having two duvets on a bed. Firstly cost. Four duvets (summer/winter) Two lots of covers. Then storage of said extra bedding. Then the extra work (yes I know, it’s but the work of a minute, but still). And who can be arsed?
Parents giving up their bedroom so a child has their own. In the real world “give your head a wobble” Oh there’s another mnism.

Having two duvets on a bed.

Entirely normal in parts of Europe, so that really isn't an 'only on MN' thing.

Agree that two duvets is standard in Nordic countries at least. Probably good when partners like different tog ratings.

There's been a few threads recently about Picky Bits, possibly because Mumsnetters are being triggered by the M&S fridge end signage.

Because I've not got anything better to do not really I had a search for the most MN 'picky bits' thread and came up with this gold, which has everything, the horror about Picky Bits, a side order or ignorance about regional variations in terminology and class snobbery. Oh, and the thread's from the start of the third lockdown so there's all the COVID outrage too.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4130691-To-want-to-go-to-Markies-for-picky-bits

If ChatGPT had been a thing at the time, that could have been the result if you asked it 'give me an OP that will cause the most outrage on Mumsnet AIBU'.

Thanks for the link @Bjorkdidit
The faux shock and outrage! 😆
For what it's worth <holds onto my hat> I call it M n S.

Hang on, is "faux outrage" another 'Only on MN' thing 😳

This is really very old. And true!

"Name changing because this could be outing"

I've been on MN for years. Nobody knows I am and I don't know a single person who is so how, out of all the thousands of users, would somebdoy read a post and say "Ooh that must be Susie from my office"

Oh Oh the supermarket conveyer belt divider game!!

Haven’t played in ages 😂