Do you regret moving in retirement?

[Gangangoose]

DH and I are both retired, mid 60s. We have 3 children, one lives in a city around 30 mins away and two live a 1.5 hour drive away (different places).

We live in the fairly big four bed we raised our family in in a friendly but quiet village. We get on well with our neighbours and have local friends, although our closest friends are a drive away. We are very reliant on our car. The nearest high street with a cafe, a few shops and a doctors etc is an hours walk away and the nearest station and supermarket is at least 20 minutes in the car.

DH is keen to try something new in retirement and he and DC1 (who lives in the city half an hour away) both think we should move to this city. We’d be able to swap our house for a 2/3 bed terrace and could walk to our grandchildren, as well as to a supermarket, leisure centre, cinema, cafes etc. We could also walk to a station with a good connection to London which would be very useful for visiting DCs 2 and 3.

I can see the value in moving somewhere with more to do and where we are not reliant on our cars. I can find where we live a bit boring and cliquey. However, it is also where we raised our children. We know so many people here and have such a safety net. I love our house and would be very sad to see it go.

Has anyone else made a similar decision? Did you regret it or was it worthwhile?

@Printedword Think the McCarthy stone developments suit many but they aren't cheap to buy into, aright pain in tge arse to sell at anything like purchase price, the service charges are huge on the nicer post 2014 developments and the odd developments that do rentals are very pricey too - if you can get an older one very cheaply with remotely sensible service charges and effectively write off what you buy it for then they are a decent bet -but they won't come with the wizzbang wow factor !

They go down in price not up……the service charges are astronomical…..there is a fee to pay on selling….around 10% …..and that’s if you can sell…..many many beneficiaries are left with a property they can’t sell, still paying the service feess ….sometimes for years ….. and if they don’t sell then care home fees can’t be paid

Worked in elder care for NHS for 30 years, if you retire and go 'off legs' then - can you manage on the ground floor - can you fit a stair lift, can you fit a bed downstairs, can a wheelchair fit through the door, have you got a loo and walk-in shower downstairs - choose a bungalow because you grow older not the other way

Could you rent it out? Then rent somewhere and see if you like it

It has been marvellous for us moving to the south coast in our 60's.
Everything in life is a risk, but if you think you would like to move , my advice would be do it when you are still interested and young enough to make new friends. Even if you don't see yourself as a "joiner in " do try something like your local U3a , walking groups, Yoga, dancing, just something where you can make connections with others.
We made lots of trips to areas we fancied living in before we decided and then as it happens, we moved during lockdown!
Other main advice would be to find as many amenities as you can within walking distance and as good public transport links as you possibly can.
It is a huge decision but it can work out beautifully with planning, consideration and a little bit of luck on your side.

@abracadabra1980 As others have said, the problems begin after the property is no longer suitable for the resident.

My Aunt decided to move and we found a beautiful one-bed flat - which a door into the garden - in a fabulous location on a village high street. The development was around 7 years old when she moved in. The sale of her own house and move into her new apartment happened within three months of her making the decision (at 88!) to move - it really feels it was meant to be. She has a lovely, safe new home and has made lots of new friends - only about 22 properties in the development so she's not overwhelmed. It really is perfect.

However, when anything happens to her, we will be left with the monthly service charges while we try to find a buyer and deal with probate - and obviously the catchment for buyers is not huge. McCarthy and Stone are not particularly helpful, and take ages to process paperwork. They also charge 1 or 2% of the sale price (not 10%!) when you do eventually sell.

We have no regrets, but expect it to be a headache at some point in the future - unless - as I have suggested to DH - we keep it for when one of us is alone!

I'm in my 60s, DH very frail. When he goes I am planning to move 300 miles away to a bungalow. Stairlifts aren't all they are cracked up to be and a fall upstairs becomes more difficult for the paramedics to deal with. As DH has shown several times.

Absolutely no regrets. Moved from Tudor house with land, rural, family home, to perfect little town where I can walk everywhere and DO stuff! Cinema, gym, coffee, library - all in easy walking distance. Heaps of new friends.

My parents did this. They moved from a horrid town in Bedfordshire to Lincolnshire wolds and it was lovely..massive garden, slow pace of life. Dad drives, mum doesn't. Bus came once a week if that.
Dad got sick for a while, couldn't manage garden or drive.
They moved towards me..5 mins walk. As they age it's easier for all of us. I can take mum out if dad is ill..or dad if he can't drive. They can walk to shops drs etc. They miss their old house and garden but I think they're relieved they're closer to us. Id say move while you can.

A friend's parents were about to downsize to a McCarthy & Stone property. She and her siblings tried to dissuade them. Luckily they agreed to talk to a Financial Advisor before committing, and she persuaded them not to. FA said they are a money pit and a nightmare to sell on. They downsized to a privately bought bungalow and are very settled and happy.

Couldn’t agree more with the elder care poster above, bungalows or ground floor flats are the best option. I posted about my mum and the stairs issue earlier, she could manage well one week, the next, struggled terribly. Decline happens and can happen rapidly.

I'm starting to think about where I might retire to in a few years. I'd be very happy with a flat - but my pension won't be very much and leasehold flats all have service charges, so its effectively like having a mortgage for ever. How do people manage to cover the service charge on modest pensions?

@Romeiswheretheheartis
You have to think,of the service charge as the costs for maintaining your home. I ran a committee in our flats that set the fees and it really just covered the cost of heating and maintaining communal areas keeping the gardens tidy buildings insurance and a saving pot for future large expenditure like cleaning the building repairs or new carpets etc. you would not have to cover any of those costs additional ly If it's cheaper they are probably not saving any and then you may be hit with a larger contribution should anything go wrong. Ask for a breakdown of the service charge

I don't know on that one sorry.

Do you have any housing association flats in your area?

They normally sell a 70% share or so, with reasonable charges.

@Romeiswheretheheartis my in laws sold their home and moved into a HA over 55 rental property and it's worked brilliantly for them. . Lots of residents don't pay rent but due to their savings from the sale of their house they pay rent at 'market rate' (although I'd say it's actually well below) and they have a lifetime tenancy and zero maintenance or service fees. When their savings have gone (which they will because the house sale only left them with a pretty small amount ) they will get their rent covered by the LA. It's a win/win for them and they are living a comfortable retirement now safe in the knowledge once the mo et has gone, they will still have a roof over their heads if not much to spend.

Same thoughts as @GrumpyMuleFan - what suits me is also good for my nearly teen…so we’re same-sizing to a different sort of house in a lively village with a strong community spirit.

As we found with my parents you actually need to make the move while you are still fit and able in anticipation of the time you don't / can't drive / the house is unmanageable / expensive to run and heat / no Dr surgery / sadly one of you gets ill or passes away etc.

They refused to move for years and then finally in their early 80's they agreed after we had a crisis but ..... they weren't able to do it themselves so myself and siblings had to organise everything , sort out the family home of 60 years etc. It got very stressful for everyone and there were a number of rows. Looking back our parents now accept they should have moved years ago and taken charge of the materialistic downsizing of possessions etc. and made a new life for themselves while they were more able.

What you will find happen is all your local friends / neighbours will move over time and the neighbourhood you loved will change and won't be the same - it's a cycle which happens. I would recommend you do start seriously to think about yourselves, the future and future proof for when you are less able.

The move where though? I mean, should every person move to a bungalow / ground floor flat in their sixties with a wheelchair ramp ? What if that means twenty years of having no garden and not being able to accommodate guests?

@movemamamove @Romeiswheretheheartis

The only thing I would say about this is it very much depends where you live and how fussy you are- for instance here in Bath we still have a big waiting list on over 55 housing association places because we don't have tons of them - so if you do eventually get offered one it's likely to be a 1 bedder as 2 bedders in short supply and prioritised to those with need for medical equipment and they are not always that nice- most 'nice and new 'over55 housing around here has gone to the McCarthy stones of the world or over55 'shared ownership' developments - and if your parents owned a home that too around here would have dropped them way down the list too - however if I wanted a 1 bedder in say Doncaster or Nuneaton- I could get one tommorrow -

That's a bit extreme @AmazingGraze, perhaps somewhere with a downstairs loo, not too big, easy garden and good transport links would be a good compromise. Is not having a spare room for guests a massive problem? How often do you have overnight guests and could they stay in an Airbnb nearby instead?

Personally, I'd move sooner while you're able to build a local community in your new location. It's much easier to do this while you're still independent.

What will happen when you can't drive or can't cope in your current home? Being away from a child might make it difficult for them to advocate for you, to ensure you're getting the best care.

My mum downsized to a purpose built flat. She can't fit me and my sibling visiting at the same time, but she bought wisely and we can stay with her for a weekend (me, spouse and two children). Bit of a squeeze but fine for 2-3 nights. To be honest, it wouldn't be too bad for us to book an AirBnB if we needed to. I'd rather do that and know that mum is in a home she can maintain and is able to travel around town on the bus. It's about her independence 95% of the time, not the size of house 5% of the time we visit her. What do your children think?

My personal preference would always be to downsize to two beds with ensuites. I think stairs are good for health, but DM eventually needed a stair lift and it gave her several more years of independent life in her own home.

Gosh from my own personal experience I can relate to the first 2 paragraphs so much ..

I think I that’s more or less what we’re looking for now. We have three adult children and soon to have two grandchildren. They can’t afford to stay in an air b and b, that’s the issue really. It’s only once every two years that the whole family are together at Xmas but when that does happen it’s helpful to have enough bedrooms.

It’s only once every two years that the whole family are together at Xmas but when that does happen it’s helpful to have enough bedrooms.
But surely the cost of (buying,) running and upkeep of a bigger house is more than a B&B would be every now and again?