Do you regret moving in retirement?

[Gangangoose]

DH and I are both retired, mid 60s. We have 3 children, one lives in a city around 30 mins away and two live a 1.5 hour drive away (different places).

We live in the fairly big four bed we raised our family in in a friendly but quiet village. We get on well with our neighbours and have local friends, although our closest friends are a drive away. We are very reliant on our car. The nearest high street with a cafe, a few shops and a doctors etc is an hours walk away and the nearest station and supermarket is at least 20 minutes in the car.

DH is keen to try something new in retirement and he and DC1 (who lives in the city half an hour away) both think we should move to this city. We’d be able to swap our house for a 2/3 bed terrace and could walk to our grandchildren, as well as to a supermarket, leisure centre, cinema, cafes etc. We could also walk to a station with a good connection to London which would be very useful for visiting DCs 2 and 3.

I can see the value in moving somewhere with more to do and where we are not reliant on our cars. I can find where we live a bit boring and cliquey. However, it is also where we raised our children. We know so many people here and have such a safety net. I love our house and would be very sad to see it go.

Has anyone else made a similar decision? Did you regret it or was it worthwhile?

I live in a London suburb zone 6. About 12 years off retirement. I have no plans to move area and if I did it would need to be similar - if not further into London.

I have buses every 10 minutes 3 minutes walk away. Station is 11 minutes walk. Doctor / library / town centre about 8 minutes. A medium size town centre with 3 supermarkets and enough else for daily essentials.

London is 30 minutes or so on the train so easy to get to for museums / theatre.

My parents while their house is very nice have no buses unless you walk 30 minutes - mainly along a 60mph road with no pavements. Their village has a mini supermarket, doctors, diy shop etc but they would be housebound without a car so not much use!

Very similar situation! I want to live near the coast, but transport links just aren't good enough, and with a child at uni and one not long left I have no idea where they will settle. I think I will have carer responsibility for one of the DC for quite a long time, but hey - maybe not, maybe things will improve for her. But I need to near good public transport so she will then have work options. I don't know what to do, my big old house has sold and I have my share of the equity current in a rental in an area I can't afford. Still got 5 years to retirement as well!

We’d be able to swap our house for a 2/3 bed terrace

Are you detached now? Not a chance would I ever move back to a semi or terrace, especially these days with wall mounted tvs and sound bars. People are a lot less considering these days and ‘normal household noise’ seems to have ramped up in volume these days!

@ApparentlyRockBottomHasABasement Your username made me chuckle. I hadn’t given tv noise a thought, or sound bars. 🙏🏽🙏🏽

Mulling over if we should sell the farm, it's already too much for us at 55 and 67 but not sure where to go or if we would find anything that remotely matched up.

It's a dilemma.

Yes placemarking too. We considered selling our big 5 bed detached to get a smaller bungalow as I have poor health and rheumatoid arthritis. Our current house is just a 5 min walk to town and 7 min drive to the beach. When we went to look at for sale bungalows we found we would swap our house for a very small bungalow that costs the same as our houses value. So we decided so far to stay put

Same here.
I'm 66 and DH is 75. We have a beautiful large home and garden where we have lived for 35 years. It's in a village with no shop and no public transport. DC (26 and 29) live in cities 30 minutes and 90 minutes away.
It would be a wrench but I'd love to be somewhere I could walk to a cafe or shop and socialise without having to drive. DH is a hermit who would happily never leave the house except to go walking. We talked about this two years ago and decided to stay but I feel it was a mistake.

I think DC would be horrified if we moved to be near them though. They might well plan to move themselves in the future.

I wouldn't necessarily want a tiny place, housing is relatively cheap around here and I would like to retain the space but improve the location.

I think it’s sensible to move nearer to one DC.

I would suggest thinking about a property on one level such as a flat or bungalow that is accessible if one of you becomes less mobile. Also think about maintenance and repairs not just now but in 20 years time.

Rural living gets very hard in later life. You end up relying on a lot of people just to do the basics. I would move

Does it take you further from your other DC? How do they feel sbout it?

It has made me and my siblings happy to see our mum settled in a spacious two bed retirement flat and she wishes she'd done it years ago. New friends being made, a decent high st, friendly church and a bus stop right outside the block into the main town. Drs etc close by.

It's likely there'll come a time when you won't be able to drive for whatever reason so think about how life might shrink in your current location when that happens. How will you maintain a large house when you can no longer garden. You'll end up paying more to maintain your life. Also you'd be closer to your son and grandchildren. However, I wouldn't move to a terrace if you've been used to space and quiet.

I would not live anywhere without a railway station in retirement. And ideally you need good bus services as well. I think a small city is a good option.

I'd think carefully about a terrace though - due to noise.

However, the advice is now that it is better for older people to be in a house. It is good to have stairs.

Bungalows and flats are not all that great.

Same thoughts here, One thing we have considered is how when one of you eventully dies how will the other cope? especially when you get older and maybe walking becomes more difficult.. shopping doctor/hospital visits, manage financies, workmen etc without any or limited support , in our case children now living abroad..BIL already in care home and sister not good on her legs.

My uncle had difficulty walking (with crutches) but had a mobility scooter and relied heavily on taxis. Nearest family were over 60 miles away.

You mentioned swapping your house, does this mean that you are in social housing? If so, that is another aspect that you will need to consider if things don't work out as you planned or if DC moves from the city you are moving to. It might not be easy to move again (if you are homeowners, you could simply sell up and move).

Partner's dad moved to the Isle of Wight in his sixties. He lived in London before. It was great when he was fit and active, a real holiday destination, but became a real pain in later life.

Stairs in his cottage became a potential death trap, unsuitable for a stair lift as he became immobile. When he stopped driving, he and his partner became house bound and lost their social life. It was difficult and very expensive to visit as he became more and more frail. He died this year. His partner refuses to move closer to family on the main land so it will be the same situation with her but lonelier.

We are retired, considered moving to the coast but have come to the conclusion that London has lots of benefits in old age especially the transport system which is great. It's a good idea to future plan at this stage.

My parents are in their 80s and still live in London in our family home (although, being London, the family home is relatively small with no garden, so it's very manageable for them). When they retired I expected them to move closer to me and their grandchildren (I'm about an hour away), but they stayed put, and are now finding it very useful to be able to get everywhere by public transport (they no longer drive). So it's not the same situation, but I would say that in your case you should move.

We did it and regret it. Moved to be nearer one of my stepchildren, from a lovely cottage to a modern house in walking distance of shops, cafes, GP practice etc. Have made lots of friends but I hate living in a modern cul de sac on an estate. It's very practical, warm and easy to keep, but it doesn't feel like home.

We're going to move again, to a well maintained old house with soul. Will ensure that we're near all the facilities we'll need one day. Can't wait.

Very sensible and I only wish my parents had made the move when they first started talking about it 10 years ago. They are now in their 80’s and whilst still fit and well, noticeably slower and less mobile than they were and having to pay for home & garden help. My dad won’t be able to drive for much longer and my mum doesn’t like driving in the dark so they will be quite isolated with nothing in walking distance and their children as 45mins-2 hours away. Honestly, I’m dreading them getting more frail or when when passes away and the other is alone rattling around in a big house stuffed full of belongings which will inevitable be a mammoth task to sort once both have gone.

We are hoping to retire when DH hits 60 in a few years and will be selling up here and buying a bungalow or flat in a town. We are planning to live in France for a few years but expecting to return to the uk to see out our retirement and hopefully by then be around for grandchildren.

In our late fifties, we live in a remote village but we have bought a tiny flat in a small town where we live part time for care responsibilities and work remotely. Elderly parents have been completely isolated by living 10 hours away from any relatives, refusing to move or downsize and completely car dependent so we need a base to visit. It's been a revelation. Love the country but within the next few years I think we will live increasingly in the flat, we hardly drive when we are there, amazing shops and access to services. Noise annoys me but I can cope and think you should definitely do it OP. I see people retiring to live in big self build bungalows near our house and wonder what they will do with themselves in ten years when they can't walk to a shop, the doctors or a pub. They will be trapped in a place where no young people can afford to live to care for them.

We moved into what was my parents bungalow after they died. Our children had more or less left home.

It's got decent public transport during the day, not in the evening. So we tend to go to matinées and afternoon showings. Most things are readily available and it's where I grew up. It may be where I grew up but the older people have died and the younger ones moved away so there isn't really many ties to the place. Fortunately it's near where we started our marriage and we do have friends nearby.

OH wasn't keen at first but he's been having some long term health issues and being in a bungalow is a godsend for us. We do still have room for sleep overs if needed and one of our daughters is nearby.

We moved in our early sixties to a nearby town from the village we’d lived for over thirty years. It was the lack of public transport that decided us, the bus service had reduced from two reliable buses an hour until 11pm to one with the service finishing at 6pm. Now we have access to a regular bus service, are within easy walking distance of a station and have three supermarkets and a reasonable high street within 15 minutes walk.

My parents moved to a bungalow on the edge of a large estate when my dad retired and it was great for ten years, they got on really well with their neighbours. When their neighbours moved it wasn’t the same and as their health deteriorated they were reliant on my sister and I driving them around. They did start looking at retirement flats but were reluctant as there wasn’t the space for my brother and family to stay.

I was expecting an "Escape to the Country " thread as recent retirees on that programme seems to be wanting to move away from nearby shops, restaurants and frequent public transport to somewhere very rural and remote.

I've seen time and time again that those who move to a more practical property/convenient location at a relatively young age (50s-early 70s) are generally able to stay in their own home living independently for longer. Those who stay in impractical houses til an older age often end up having to go straight to sheltered housing etc and actually skip the downsizing step.

As a PP mentioned, to stay in a large house takes a lot of money as you get beyond the stage you can keep on top of things yourself - my MIL spends an absolute fortune every month on a gardener and cleaner (several hundred - large, beautiful garden), and is often paying out for trades people for umpteen maintenance jobs (including for things that allow her to keep living in the home like stair lift). She can afford this thankfully and it's her money but I just think it's so sad she isn't spending it on more fun things.

So overall I'd say move a good 2-5 years before you need to.

Yes we bought a holiday home when we were a bit before retirement to try it out in a little town in a coastal area but not a major holiday town iyswim. We have had time to make friends and a proper social circle. We have a gym pubs shops and supermarkets we can walk to and manage easily with one car. Ended up selling the holiday home and buying a proper house when we were confident it was the right decision

We are in our 50s and totally plan to move near transport and facilities so we can easily stop driving as soon as it becomes clear we should but we will still be able to travel.