Do you regret moving in retirement?

[Gangangoose]

DH and I are both retired, mid 60s. We have 3 children, one lives in a city around 30 mins away and two live a 1.5 hour drive away (different places).

We live in the fairly big four bed we raised our family in in a friendly but quiet village. We get on well with our neighbours and have local friends, although our closest friends are a drive away. We are very reliant on our car. The nearest high street with a cafe, a few shops and a doctors etc is an hours walk away and the nearest station and supermarket is at least 20 minutes in the car.

DH is keen to try something new in retirement and he and DC1 (who lives in the city half an hour away) both think we should move to this city. We’d be able to swap our house for a 2/3 bed terrace and could walk to our grandchildren, as well as to a supermarket, leisure centre, cinema, cafes etc. We could also walk to a station with a good connection to London which would be very useful for visiting DCs 2 and 3.

I can see the value in moving somewhere with more to do and where we are not reliant on our cars. I can find where we live a bit boring and cliquey. However, it is also where we raised our children. We know so many people here and have such a safety net. I love our house and would be very sad to see it go.

Has anyone else made a similar decision? Did you regret it or was it worthwhile?

My inlaws live very rurally in a large house crammed full of stuff where they’ve lived 40+ years - MIL can’t drive, FIL can but is in his 80s and won’t drive in the dark. My DH is their only child and we live 2 hours away, and I can just see how this will all play out over the next 10 years or so. We’ve suggested they move but they feel too old to cope with the upheaval, but wish they’d moved closer to us years ago when our DC were small. So my view would be to do it while you can!!

I'm not retirement age but I haven't regretted moving from a rural village to a small town where I can walk to main amenities such as cafe, library, Dr's, pub, few shops and supermarket. In retirement, I'd like to move to a flat or small house in a nice city centre and never use the car! I'd say go for it

Where does that advice come from? My mother is 88 and has a flat with stairs. She is still fine with them but the day will come..
mother in law had to move in her early eighties because she couldn’t manage the stairs in her house any longer.

The physio told me that it's good my mum is keeping her legs strong by using the stairs.

I however am terrified as she has fallen down them and broken bones.

She doesn't have a downstairs loo. It's a bad set up fir an elderly person. When I'm older I will 100% be moving to a flat or bungalow in an area where I can walk to wherever I need, before my hour of need and I'm too knackered and unwell to face a house move.

Move to a bungalow. Buy an exercise bike or something safer to keep legs strong and get steps up if not going out daily.

@AmazingGraze articles like the one below (see the section on moving to a bungalow).

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/health-fitness/conditions/ageing/things-making-you-old-before-your-time/

Unfortunately technology is one thing that doesn't help mobility with older people - all the little trips to answer the phone, see who's at the door, pop to the shops and carry shopping bags, get up & turn the tv channel over. None of that is needed nowadays with iPads, mobiles, ring doorbells etc It's that's having a significant impact on the health and being of the elderly in terms of mobility & core strength so I do understand why physio would recommend stairs as it will keep you mobile for longer BUT it's a fine line as once they become unmanageable, it's likely too late to move.

I would move. Yes you bought your house and the DC grew up there but it doesn't sound as though it is suiting you now at all.

I know that I won't be able to drive indefinitely so we live in a town with good transport links and I can wasp to the Doctors/Dentist//Library/leisure Centre plus cafes, shops, bars and restaurants.

You only have to spend some time in the Elderly Parents section to see how many people wished that they had made the move at your age while you still have time to enjoy the new area and start local activities.

I would move on a heartbeat.

That sounds perfect! I'd love to know where you moved to!

Me too!

In fact , anyone living in a lovely area with great transport links and lovely countryside, a good GP and dentist and shops, please PM me with your location! I need inspiration.

I really wish I could persuade my DH to read this. He is convinced that he doesn't want near neighbours. I know it's the wrong call but he wants a barn conversion without anyone close. Yes, there are lovely ones, but what kept my mum going to 89 was that she could do, on foot, most of what she needed for her everyday life.

I’m retired, live alone and in the back of bloody beyond. It was a huge mistake to live here. I’m desperate to move to a town with a cinema, able to get to a theatre without a 45 mile round trip and dodgy parking. And be able to walk somewhere without wearing wellies and wading through mud.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/health/11-life-shortening-habits-making-33987083

This is the same article but not behind a barrier.

Tavistock, in West Devon, is a very solid choice. It's a smallish, prosperous farming town on the western edge of Dartmoor. Plymouth is your nearest city. It has a tiny arts centre. Ferries to France and Spain are 30 minutes away, there's a mainline railway to London in Plymouth. It's very foodie, if that's important to you. If you like watersports, they are close by. The walking and hiking is superb. Magnificent landscapes everywhere.We've lived here for 35 years and would stay but it is too much driving from our family and friends who are mostly north of the M4.

My parents moved 200 miles away. And they love it!

Not being dependent on your car keeps you fitter, which keeps you younger

Missing the point of the thread but I am intrigued how you can walk to a high street if you live in a village? Is that a long walk through the countryside?

My mum moved to the edge of a small market town a five minute drive from me.

It was the right thing to do, it's a perfect house and location

Pros- walk to town in 8 mins, shops markets cafes, bus to to the big (awful) town near by for trains and so on - not stranded without a car

House is easier to maintain, garden easier to maintain. Cheaper to run

She moved at 63 much easier than 70

Cons, the main road is polluted and affects her chest (she never suffered before), misses nice neighbours but new ones are nice

Be careful moving from a detached to terraced- that would be my fear

We just - 4 weeks ago-
Moved into a beautiful house from someone who was downsizing and had ill health and realised how tricky it would be for a single older frailer woman to maintain it fully. But also what a wrench it would be to leave it.

But all the lovely time with you grand kids!

You might feel like hosting lovely big family get together now but how might that change in the future? When will it change

How old are you op?

We are lucky that where we live is very close to the centre of a large town so everything is in walking distance (including a fast train to London) but equally we can go for nice country walks without having to drive somewhere. We resisted moving to somewhere more suburban when the children were small.

The downside is that it has become a very expensive area so if we decide we would like a smaller house in a few years, it might actually cost us more to move than we would make from our house sale, after paying all the fees.

I would have no interest or need to move somewhere else. The only way that
would change is if our children all moved abroad or we needed to move somewhere cheaper to supplement our pensions.

MyFIL is 85 and has sold his chalet house last month in Kent and in process of buying a bungalow12 miles away from us in Frome - he would liked to have lived in Bath where we are but still wanted a bungalow, garage,3 beds( 1 for an office)and detached with parking-so had to compromise a bit- it's his money at end of day, so if that's what he wanted then fair enough . He's moved from a dying village in a not very nice bit of Kent that he never really liked - moved there for his partner 12 years ago , but after she died 5 years ago he was keen to move and then Covid kicked in- his reasoning- he might not be able to drive much longer and was in a place with like 5 buses a day at best, 1 grotty shop, a grotty pub -it's considered 'quite a nice place ' but it just isn't great if you need facilities

He's buying one with a modern medical centre,community hospital , bus stop with regular bus and park and 2 big shops all within 2 minutes plus town 7 minutes walk away - train 10 minutes- lots of cafes and bars and shops , cinema, several theatres/arts centre and a bit of 'life' which he is looking forward to -and 23 minutes drive from us .

Main issue was values are almost the same. So not really much of a downsize money wise

Could you do an Airbnb for a few weeks? Try it out?

you could ask for a month’s let somewhere and settle in for a bit. See what you think.

id probably do this first and see how it went.

I agree though neighbours are everything. We’ve been so lucky and it’s one big reason we’ve stayed in our place not even moved locally because we love our neighbours so much and they couldn’t be replaced! And they like us too 🥰

We're not in your situation in that we have always lived in London but we are in your age group. We both still work but retirement is on my mind. I realised that being in a city with good public transport, lots of services and many interesting things to do, with free transport and links to the countryside by road and train, is the absolute best place to be as one gets older.

😃

@ajandjjmum
Do you mind elaborating on 'the dreaded McCarthy & Stone? What's so bad about them?

We moved a year after we retired, to a cheaper (but still very nice) area about three miles away. We were able to buy a very similarly sized house for significantly less money, meaning we could give an 'early inheritance' to our adult DC and have money left over to boost our savings. That was ten years ago and we've never regretted the move.

That’s interesting. I had considered Frome as a possible place to move to but thought transport links were terrible there?

For those of you with more than one child who moved to he nearer to one of them …. how did the rest of them feel about it?

We have one near us and one in a lovely city about 3 hours from us. I’d love to move to this city but I know our local DC would be very hurt.