Come and have a laugh at my ex husband of you need cheering up!

[Mydogisamassivetwat]

Ds was planning to visit his dad at some point over Christmas. Looking at trains last night, they were absolutely extortionate and for two days, inc 10 hour travel time, it wasn’t worth the price.

Ex h has gone mental. Sent me a text last night saying that as I chose to move so far away from him, it’s my responsibility, and I should bring ds to him for contact. I have to drive him or pay the train fare. He’s going to “take advice” on next steps.

Ds is 22 years old. Yes, twenty-two. Not two. A grown man.

Has his own job, didn’t know when his leave would be until last night so couldn’t plan in advance, and to be honest, he’s a grown arse adult who is working Christmas Day anyway and what he does with his free time and his money is no longer any of my business.

I am wondering on what these next steps will be? Solicitor, perhaps? Or maybe he will go for full custody? I mean, ds lives with his girlfriend now, so I presume it’s her he would take to court, not me? Or perhaps their landlord? Who knows!

Oh and I know I’ll get asked why he still has my contact details. It’s because, every so often, he will do something batshit like this and honestly, I find it hilarious. When ds was 18, he said he was going to court for full custody and was contacting solicitors as ds didn’t want to go to uni, so this is nothing new, the man is just a fucking idiot. I tell him to let me know how it goes and then ignore him.

I've been married nearly 40 years. There have been a few moments during that time when either me or DH have come pretty close to wanting a divorce but we didn't quite get there.

Reading this makes me so thankful we never got that far. We still have our disagreements but we are also still in a place where one of us can say to the other "stop being such a total arse' and our partner hears it.

I'm absolutely in awe of all of you who negotiate separation and blended families without wreaking havoc when it is deserved. Your DC are lucky to have you.

There's always one.

My ex-BIL was decent at first and over time he got worse and worse to my sister. Some people are really good at hiding their abusive tendancies until you're well sucked in, and others just change over time.

Did you not read the bit where the 'child' is an independent adult, living away from both of his parents? Why are arrangements between two adult men the responsibility of OP?

I’ll come too

Obviously, Edingril, OP should have known from the start her Ex would have an affair then proceed to exhibit dickhead behaviour after the divorce.

Well unless the child was born an adult i presume when they were born they were a child first? So no not sure what i missed, yes they are an adult now which is why he does not make sense still does not change the fact the op made a choice to be in a relationship and have a child with him

Obviously, he wasn’t a raging dickhead when I met, married and had a child with him or I’d have run a mile.

He was quite normal, until a decade into our relationship when I found out he was shagging someone at work and then I left him.

That was the catalyst for him turning into a person I no longer recognised. I hurt his ego by leaving him. I didn’t lie a bout why I did, and that made people judge him and made him look bad. Our divorce was easy and amicable but he didn’t like people thinking badly of him and has taken it out on me ever since.

The difference is, I moved on. I worked on myself, built a good life and now, I can just laugh at him.

You reminded me of my ex!! After we split, the ex called, utterly furious that my friends had dropped contact with him (my friends had become his social circle, as he barely had any friends).
He accused me of 'bad-mouthing' him to them as no one wanted to talk to him.
I stated that I would never bad mouth him to my friends. But that some close friends asked why we split, at that question I wasn't going to lie, so I told them the truth. And that I guessed, they made their own decision after that!

It still amazes me how these types believe they can lie, cheat their way through life and expect it not to have consequences!! And then when the consequences are dealt to them, they are shocked that no one wants to have anything to do with them!

I do love those smug posts from women who have clearly never been divorced, asking why you married the prick in the first place. Fuck off, it's not helpful.

When my DSis was going through her divorce with her batshit ex-DH I taught her the word "whatever", to be said with at least an internal shrug of her shoulders in a bored, disinterested voice. Even just thinking the word helped her remember that he was a delusional numpty from Planet Bjork & keep calm.

He came out with a few real humdingers at the time. I think my favorite was when he went to her estate agents she was buying a new home through and started giving them instructions about his "wife", some months after the divorce went through - he still referred to her as his wife for years after. Oh and the times he tried to get her solicitors to advise him on the divorce.

You do realise it’s a known thing that abusive men commonly become abusive for the first time during pregnancy and shortly after?

Not unheard of for simple dickheads to do the same.

Unless you have a crystal ball it’s impossible to tell with 100% certainty how someone is going to turn out long term

What nonsense. To make such a sweeping statement is ridiculous when there are many reasons women move away from exes with children.

I moved away from my ex partner with my 2 year old as I needed to be near my family for much needed support. Before moving I lived very close to my ex but he provided very little support and saw his child once a week. I was working full time and he was out of work sat on his arse all day but I still had to pay to put my son into nursery or pay my ex’s mother (my sons grandmother) to look after him. No way was I going to stick around.

What a knob with bells on for Christmas.

When I left my ex I'd forced a sale on the property but he decided to buy me out before it went to court. He demanded our bed, the sofas, the living room carpet ( I paid for) and I wasn't to touch any of the sound system or take any of the four TVs. I agreed to everything ( didn't want the stuff anyway ) but I asked if I could take a TV for example the one in my son's room.

Ex agreed that I could take a TV except the 75" in the lounge and the order was drawn up with that wording.

The TV in my DS room ( my ex not his father ) was a bit shit, so I took the good one from the bedroom. I'd checked the order and I wasn't breaking it.

I left the bed and sofas and carpet , 3 other TVs but stripped the place bare as I'd bought everything else. I left him a couple of mugs an old vacuum cleaner and a mop and bucket.

The following day when he moved back in he wrote a furious letter to my solicitor ( who I'd let go by then) copied me and his solicitor in saying I'd taken a high spec TV rather than the shitty one in my sons room and I'd broken the order , he wanted his money back and he couldn't find his trousers which were stored in the garage as he was going to a wedding.

I wrote to his solicitor saying I'd taken one of the four TVs as specified in his order but not to worry, I didn't need it and it would be delivered back the following weekend. Nothing in the order about his trousers so not my problem as he always had access to the garage.

The knob ate humble pie and apologised for misreading the order after publicly revealing himself as the greedy no good bastard he was.

He took another pop a week later over something else and I told his solicitor I'd spent 30k getting away from his sorry arse and anything further will be seen as harassment and I'd involve the police.

Not heard from him since I'm pleased to say

How dare you! I am being entirely genuine. What on earth would make you think I was being sarcastic? After all, I was replying to a totally reasonable comment by you, surely?

Love this you have made my day. I have laughed so much. Thank you for sharing. I am going to use your line in my everyday work life, let me know how that goes for you I absolutely love it 😜.

@Beentheredonethat0 you’ve just reminded me of my ex who also blamed me that our close friends wouldn’t speak to him any more because they were “embarrassed” that I had left him and couldn’t face him. I pointed out that they were actually my friends and the husband probably didn’t want to speak to him because ex had tried to have an affair with his wife, and she didn’t want to have anything to do with a sex pest 😂

This made me LOL!!!

This is the best.

Some people will really hold on to any little amount of control/bullying they can.

I would totally just laugh at him and my next text would be " see you in court"

There is a solicitor out there somewhere rubbing his hands together for the easiest hours of advice work he will ever have.

I know a lot of this is to try and exert some control but I wonder if any of these men are deluded enough to go to solicitors to take advice. Even the most thickest person must know you can’t get custody of a grown adult.

I bet some definitely have. Some will do anything to hold control. Even shred their dignity and wallet just to give it a shot...!

A friend of mine had an ex who took the dog when they split up (friend didn't care as didn't even like said dog) and I kid you not he tried to get maintenance money from her. Don't know how far he took it, probably not far, but she got a text telling her he had a meeting with legal the next day. She replied "ok" then never heard anymore. For a dog....

Part of me realllyyy hopes he had his time wasted and someone banked a few quid having a laugh at him

Christ what a knob ,,,, is he from planet earth?

My ex neighbour went to the noise nuisance people at the council and reported that my cat was ‘making’ (by sitting in her own garden) his dog bark. He even rated the noise annoyance as 9/10 and ‘multiple times daily’ on their form. He then went to a solicitor when they refused to do anything about the cat…

If someone is deluded enough to do that then some of these men are definitely deluded enough to do so.

I needed a hood laugh 😃