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Come and have a laugh at my ex husband of you need cheering up!

615 replies

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:10

Ds was planning to visit his dad at some point over Christmas. Looking at trains last night, they were absolutely extortionate and for two days, inc 10 hour travel time, it wasn’t worth the price.

Ex h has gone mental. Sent me a text last night saying that as I chose to move so far away from him, it’s my responsibility, and I should bring ds to him for contact. I have to drive him or pay the train fare. He’s going to “take advice” on next steps.

Ds is 22 years old. Yes, twenty-two. Not two. A grown man.

Has his own job, didn’t know when his leave would be until last night so couldn’t plan in advance, and to be honest, he’s a grown arse adult who is working Christmas Day anyway and what he does with his free time and his money is no longer any of my business.

I am wondering on what these next steps will be? Solicitor, perhaps? Or maybe he will go for full custody? I mean, ds lives with his girlfriend now, so I presume it’s her he would take to court, not me? Or perhaps their landlord? Who knows!

Oh and I know I’ll get asked why he still has my contact details. It’s because, every so often, he will do something batshit like this and honestly, I find it hilarious. When ds was 18, he said he was going to court for full custody and was contacting solicitors as ds didn’t want to go to uni, so this is nothing new, the man is just a fucking idiot. I tell him to let me know how it goes and then ignore him.

OP posts:
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BlackeyedSusan · 18/12/2024 18:28

Hoppinggreen · 18/12/2024 12:56

Mine usually goes with "you will be hearing from my Brief!"

Pants!

redboxer321 · 18/12/2024 18:29

The OP's therapist should have copyrighted "okay, let me know how it goes".
I think it's a phrase that is going to used by many more people now 😂

You've handled things perfectly with this utter knobhead @Mydogisamassivetwat and given many people a good laugh! Good for you.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 18:31

19lottie82 · 18/12/2024 18:14

Why are you still keeping lines of communication open with this twat? Your son is an adult and has been for a long time. Just block him!

Because once every year or so, he comes out with something so gloriously twattsih that it would be a shame to miss it. I’m not in contact with him otherwise.

In the years to come, there may be a wedding, grandchildren - oh man, I can only imagine the hilarity to come. I’m not blocking him and missing out on that.

its like having a pet idiot that I keep at arms length.

OP posts:

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BabyPudu · 18/12/2024 18:41

EmotionalSupportCuttlefish · 18/12/2024 12:18

I've just snarfed my coffee all over my laptop. He's 22!

Thanks for that : ) : ) : )

I’m full of cold and really miserable… but thank you for a real laugh-out-loud moment OP (although it made me cough!!)

PartTimeModel · 18/12/2024 18:42

Perhaps you could pay for your XP & his new family to visit his DS next Christmas OP? If you start saving now you will be able to manage it 😁

Thanks for the laugh

justanotherboymum · 18/12/2024 18:44

This is hilarious, thankyou for the laugh!!

OhcantthInkofaname · 18/12/2024 18:44

I absolutely thank you for the laugh. My cat thinks I'm crazy. She came and put her paw on my shoulder to see if I was OK - I was laughing so much.

Dweetfidilove · 18/12/2024 18:48

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Children will put up with a ridiculous amount of twattery from their parents. The kinds of things you wouldn't think twice about cutting other people off for 🤷🏾‍♀️.

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 18/12/2024 18:49

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 18:31

Because once every year or so, he comes out with something so gloriously twattsih that it would be a shame to miss it. I’m not in contact with him otherwise.

In the years to come, there may be a wedding, grandchildren - oh man, I can only imagine the hilarity to come. I’m not blocking him and missing out on that.

its like having a pet idiot that I keep at arms length.

Please keep posting here so that he can be our pet idiot, too!

BeccaS34 · 18/12/2024 18:52

Ok this is funny. Sorry you and your son have been dealing with this.

Its also funny that he hasn’t realized you get more flies with honey than with vinegar - buying DS a train ticket makes him more likely to show up than acting like this

LostTheMarble · 18/12/2024 18:56

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 18:31

Because once every year or so, he comes out with something so gloriously twattsih that it would be a shame to miss it. I’m not in contact with him otherwise.

In the years to come, there may be a wedding, grandchildren - oh man, I can only imagine the hilarity to come. I’m not blocking him and missing out on that.

its like having a pet idiot that I keep at arms length.

Honestly as hilarious as this is, your posts have given me hope/strategies for the future. Whilst my ex isn’t a professional lunatic, there are increasing moments of ‘what the fuckness’. Swinging between remarkable uselessness and behaving like an un-neutered Labrador, the next 10-15 years of coparenting are exhausting just to think about. Pet idiot is very much a cathartic term!

dominique36 · 18/12/2024 19:00

😂😂😂 oh my Lordy

EmoIsntDead · 18/12/2024 19:04

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 17:22

Fuuuuck! There must be a whole gang of them out there, how frightening!

There’s probably of sub full of them on Reddit where they swap stories about their ‘crazy’ ex wives

Compash · 18/12/2024 19:07

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 18:31

Because once every year or so, he comes out with something so gloriously twattsih that it would be a shame to miss it. I’m not in contact with him otherwise.

In the years to come, there may be a wedding, grandchildren - oh man, I can only imagine the hilarity to come. I’m not blocking him and missing out on that.

its like having a pet idiot that I keep at arms length.

You basically have your own Court Jester...

(With the emphasis on 'Court'...). 🤡

theprincessthepea · 18/12/2024 19:16

That is funny! Having a terrible time with my partner so this has cheered me up

itsgettingweird · 18/12/2024 19:16

After a rough week I'm sorry to admit all your twat exes have given me a brilliant laugh.

I was floored at

"He can't go to family court because he's over 18"

"Oh thank fuck for that - thanks for sharing" 😂😂😂😂

<paraphrased>

My ex also did the child Maintenence spreadsheet request.

I actually complied and then sent it to him via email thanking him for pointing out how much he's underpaying half of raising our child and I'll be sure to send this to the solicitor at his suggestion too.

He went VERY quiet after that 👀

Scottishskifun · 18/12/2024 19:19

😂 Thanks OP I'm having a tough week and this really made me chuckle!

I really hope he does go to a solicitor to pay a £250 fee to be told he's an idiot!

LongDarkTeatime · 18/12/2024 19:22

I’m sure others must have said it, but this really needs to go in classics 😁😂😁

Oodiks · 18/12/2024 19:28

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 12:28

Oh, I’ve been sending the same reply for the 15 years we’ve been divorced to all his nonsense. “Okay, let me know how that goes.”

Then I ignore any further nonsense and it always dies down. Like the time when he said he had contacted a solicitor as he wanted receipts for every penny of maintenance money spent so that I would have to prove it was all spent on ds. His solicitor was going to be in touch. “Okay, let me know how it goes.” Funnily enough, I never did hear from that solicitor 🤣

Fucking twat.

Thanks, that's a great response and I will use it on my ex 😂

NormanBateslonglosttwin · 18/12/2024 19:30

This is brilliant, I love it, how can people be so stupid to believe stuff like your ex?
Is there something going on with him like ND?

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 18/12/2024 19:36

NormanBateslonglosttwin · 18/12/2024 19:30

This is brilliant, I love it, how can people be so stupid to believe stuff like your ex?
Is there something going on with him like ND?

Nah, if he was ND, he'd see logic. It might need to be spelled out to him, but he'd see logic.

This is plain old narcissism.

Grumpyoldthing · 18/12/2024 19:42

I would talk to son’s girlfriend in solidarity. It maybe that she can claim some child maintenance.

Mydogisamassivetwat · 18/12/2024 19:45

NormanBateslonglosttwin · 18/12/2024 19:30

This is brilliant, I love it, how can people be so stupid to believe stuff like your ex?
Is there something going on with him like ND?

He’s just a dickhead.

OP posts:
Imbusytodaysorry · 18/12/2024 19:49

@Mydogisamassivetwat best post ever

GivingitToGod · 18/12/2024 19:49

IdgieThreadgoodeIsMyHeroine · 18/12/2024 15:08

Congratulations on being a significantly better person than everyone else on this thread. You must feel so proud of yourself.

Why the sarcasm?

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