Come and have a laugh at my ex husband of you need cheering up!

[Mydogisamassivetwat]

Ds was planning to visit his dad at some point over Christmas. Looking at trains last night, they were absolutely extortionate and for two days, inc 10 hour travel time, it wasn’t worth the price.

Ex h has gone mental. Sent me a text last night saying that as I chose to move so far away from him, it’s my responsibility, and I should bring ds to him for contact. I have to drive him or pay the train fare. He’s going to “take advice” on next steps.

Ds is 22 years old. Yes, twenty-two. Not two. A grown man.

Has his own job, didn’t know when his leave would be until last night so couldn’t plan in advance, and to be honest, he’s a grown arse adult who is working Christmas Day anyway and what he does with his free time and his money is no longer any of my business.

I am wondering on what these next steps will be? Solicitor, perhaps? Or maybe he will go for full custody? I mean, ds lives with his girlfriend now, so I presume it’s her he would take to court, not me? Or perhaps their landlord? Who knows!

Oh and I know I’ll get asked why he still has my contact details. It’s because, every so often, he will do something batshit like this and honestly, I find it hilarious. When ds was 18, he said he was going to court for full custody and was contacting solicitors as ds didn’t want to go to uni, so this is nothing new, the man is just a fucking idiot. I tell him to let me know how it goes and then ignore him.

O God, that’s awful. What an evil thing to do. It’s a shame you couldn’t record the messages and use them in court.

Oh god, some of these replies remind me of when my ex threatened to take me to court for moving an hour & half drive away (from my old house/our home town)

The kicker is that he actually moved over an hour away a couple of years before & the place I was moving to was actually nearer to him. Instead of two trains taking nearly 3 hours (with the wait in between etc) it was 1 train that took 10mins! You’d have thought he would have been happy but it was just about control really as he still didn’t see our son much, we’d sit in the train station watching the trains arrive & leave with no dad on them even though he’d lie & say he was on his way. He stopped seeing him from about age 5, just stopped turning up & stopped contacting us

How does one go about getting front row seats to the custody battle?

Would DS's employer have to get involved? ''You can't have him Mon-Fri between 9am-5pm, that's our time with him!''.

ExH sent a letter to DD1's school university application counselor informing her that "It would please him" if she applied to X university.

I suspect your son probably finds it amusing too!

One of the frustrating things about my mother is that she used to call the police if I said I was busy for a few days; I can't explain how cross it would make me if you're trying to relax with a cup of tea then you have unexpected police visitors

I do wonder if these idiots know how old their kids actually are, and are so under-involved in their kids' lives that they've lost track. It's embarrassing really.

OP I will be using Let Me Know How It Goes with 👍🏻emoji from now on. Great advice.

Then are you in the wrong place!

Hopefully he trips over his next steps and lands on his face. Plonker!

Can you imagine? We’d have to co-ordinate outfits. Snacks. We would need someone to take notes.
If only they could show the bit where the judge asks the child who they would prefer to live with?
Well, Your Honour, I’d quite like to live with my…. girlfriend!!!

Think he deserves it!

Dear Twat of an ex husband

Thank you for your message, I have passed on your comments to his girlfriend who now has sole custody. She will be writing to you in due course about the back payment of child support you owe her. It might be possible to use some of those funds to pay for a chauffeur driven car to your house.

Kind regards

Your poor DC, that is so sad. I can't imagine how that was like for you and them to be waiting for him off the train 💔

Slightly wishing someone would text me something twattish so I could use your response. Your ex is comedy gold 😅

I so want him to waste money going to a lawyer….

We had similar and after counselling the stock phrase was ‘thank you for calling…is there anything else? ‘

It was absolutely heartbreaking & I’d feel so bad telling him we have to leave the station. Thankfully he doesn’t remember all the bad stuff as he was too young. He’s 23 now & is a wonderful young man, sadly he’s not seen his ‘real’ dad since he was about 5 but he has a wonderful relationship with my husband who has raised him since he was 3 so he didn’t miss out on that dad/son relationship

@Mydogisamassivetwat

Your exH is a classic twat to beat them all. Mine was similar, unfortunately, he was a solicitor specialising in litigation! So I heard all manner of threats SO many times. It became comical as he never actually followed through. I think he realised that opposing counsel would eat him alive because he was so obsessively controlling (classic narc tactic - but this was pre-coercive control laws).

One of my favourites was after some ex's rant, he said, if you don't do X and Y, whatever it was, that I'd never hear from him again, to which I quipped.
"Do you promise?"

I'd just lay into him with droll sarcasm, he hated it.

Thanks for the giggles and as for the excellent response 'ok, let me know how it goes', this will definitely be used in future.

Grab yourself a nice glass of wine and have some fun, you could respond with:
'I look forward to hearing from your solicitor.
I hear there's an excellent law firm in your area, Knobhead, Ranty & He's Overage LLP?
Let me know how it goes'.

Oh this is gold 😁and reminds me that I’d better make sure I take my 39 year old DP for contact with both his divorced parents over christmas - don’t want to risk a custody battle!

Custody battle? At 22? 😂

I cannot believe that your ex can't be arsed to drive 2 hours to pick ds and gf up. What a prize buffoon. He can't actually really want to spend any time with your ds, he just wants to fight.

He could spent 2 hours chatting on the way back and have a lovely time.

🤣🤣🤣🤣

What a fuckwit he is, and it seems there are a number of them too!

On the plus side for his GF, if she does ever get fed up with him, at least she knows he's got somewhere to go... as long as she takes him or pays for his train fare of course. Not sure he's old enough to make the journey alone just yet...!

Put icing on the cake…it’s so good, I can’t wait eat mine!

Pretending to lose ds to scare you is one of the worst things I have ever read.
What an utterly vile person.
I'm so glad you can see the funny side of it.

Oh, you got me! You logicmaster! I meant either parent, as I wrote in part of my post. I could have expressed myself a little bit more clearly, but I think you know what I meant. If you didn't, hope this clears it up.

This reminded me of my Ex.....he warned me not to speak to X & Y as they were HIS friends - these friends were in their 40's as was my Ex 😆