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Fed up of being treated like I am worthless and a drain on society because I don't work

707 replies

elliejjtiny · 08/12/2024 22:32

Dh works. He used to have a well paid job but he took a pay cut so he could be more flexible for the dc who have SEN and multiple hospital appointments. I am carer to 10 year old ds who has autism and emotional development delay. He is considered "high functioning" but he receives high rate dla and he is in mainstream school with part time 1-1. This is going to be increased to full time 1-1 when he starts secondary school. In a lot of ways he is like a very intelligent toddler, especially with maths.

PIL came round today. They provide regular childcare for SIL's dc but have looked after my son probably about 5 times in the last 10 years. And never for very long. Because he is difficult. That's fine by me. But then they criticise me for not working. It's not just me,( actually they moan about me a lot less these days because they know I will argue with them and point out that they won't look after ds, school struggle with him so how am I supposed to work) , they go on and on about "people on benefits" and they assume things that are just not true like they think everyone on universal credit gets free holidays and they say the benefit system is more than generous and that people should stop moaning and get a job. Fil has been telling me with glee that one day ds won't need me to care for him and I will have to get a job. To me that's like telling a blind person that one day they will be able to see and they will have to give up their white stick. I would be more than happy to work if ds didn't need me to look after him.

I know sil thinks I should be working (although how, I have no idea) and every so often I keep thinking that maybe other people think this too. I've always said that when ds sleeps through the night I will try and go back to work part time but that hasn't happened yet.

OP posts:
SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 14:46

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:45

I go to my relatives home before work to make sure they're ok, dressed & make them breakfast. I then go after work to make them an evening meal, & tidy round & clean. I take them to appointments & have recently been down during the night a few times as they've had a fall or a TIA & have accompanied them to hospital & sat up to 9 hours while they have scans tests etc.

So I feel I have some idea of caring for someone with additional needs. What's the comparable needs of a 10 year old with SEN?

Yes...but you can leave them unsupervised!

Vettrianofan · 11/12/2024 14:47

Jellycatspyjamas · 11/12/2024 14:18

What has me being deaf have to do with this thread? No one is having to hear anything?

Now you're being deliberately obtuse.

🤦‍♀️

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:49

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 14:46

Yes...but you can leave them unsupervised!

And the parent has time to work while their child is at school being cared for by others.

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:50

WouldiwantThat · 11/12/2024 14:08

14 weeks ?

did you have a c section ? If so then you could have gone back at 6 weeks surely if not then it could have been sooner ? I know some women who started work again straight after their hospital discharge .

Edited

What's your point?

Sirzy · 11/12/2024 14:53

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:37

I understand that things take so much more organising & time. I care for an elderly relative so know how difficult it can get. However, it still doesn't answer my original question of why Mum doesn't work while her child is at school.

Because maybe she deserves a chance to rest too!

the OP like many parents of disabled children doesn’t get a proper sleep. It’s exhausting. If all she did when he child was in school was sleep then I would be all for it. (I know it isn’t!)

everyone deserve rest.

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 14:54

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:49

And the parent has time to work while their child is at school being cared for by others.

They're at school part time, with lots of time off needed for appointments.

OP has other things she needs to do to care for her child (admin for forms and appointments relating to their diagnoses, housework, meal prep, catching up on sleep from very broken nights etc to name just a few) that are practically impossible to do when they're not at school. It's NOT THE SAME as you having to do those things with your child there, because of the child's care needs.

When exactly would you suggest she does those things if she went out and got a school hours job (that she'd lose pretty quickly due to the time off she'd need)?

WouldiwantThat · 11/12/2024 14:54

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:50

What's your point?

Just asking some questions 🤷‍♀️

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:54

Jimmyneutronsforehead · 11/12/2024 14:08

@Goodtogossip have you ever heard the phrase don't pour from an empty cup?

I bet you get to replenish your cup at least once a day. I bet more often than not you sleep through the night. I bet you get to have a shower without worrying of the dangers of leaving a child unsupervised for 5 minutes.

Our cups have holes in them.

We're lucky to get 4 hours of broken sleep or more than a 45min-1hr stint at a time. For years.

My doctor has serious concerns that I might develop psychosis because of the hallucinations I have. Things like wood grain warping, the floor feeling like I'm on a ferry on rough season, hearing people shouting my name or hearing crying whenever there's white noise like the shower running or the kettle boiling. They also feel like medication would be detrimental due to the side effects that can be sedating, when I need to be alert all of the time, or enhanced feelings of suicidal ideation because it must be at least a weekly thought that I'd do anything to end the suffering of feeling so tired all of the time. Can't have caffeine because I've damaged my bladder from withholding which happens when DS is too dysregulated for hours and I can't leave his side not even to wee, and caffeine stimulates my bladder so I wet myself so I can't even have that to perk me up a bit. I'm so sluggish, but I've got to stay alert.

Caring for a disabled child has given me disabilities.

I've recently been diagnosed with PTSD, because I am in constant stress. I have depression and anxiety.

My son is technically at school full time, but since the start of term I can count on one hand how many times we've made it there on time, meanwhile for the second time the LA have declined a specialist provision placement. They've not even increased funding for him at the school he's currently in. He hates it. It fills him with dread. He's made no academic progress. He is othered by the children there who don't know how to interact with him because he is different. He's lonely.

No wrap around care wants him. No school holiday clubs can accomodate him. He couldn't cope with them any way as they're too unfamiliar and would cause him to have meltdowns when things changed.

I'd say he spends anywhere from 3 to 4 and a half hours at school every day. In that time, I eat, I sleep, I shower.

I've tried to ask employers to be flexible and I've said I promise I'll work the rest of my shift back when he's asleep, but it's not a promise I can keep because he doesn't go to sleep at the same time every night. Sometimes he'll not go to sleep at all, and he'll end up missing school because of it.

So if, 7 days a week, I can't shower when there's nobody else around to watch him, and there rarely is, and I can't sleep at night for more than 4 hours, although most of the time a lot less, and I can't eat because when I'm awake I'm playing catch up with housework, getting him coregulated, getting him dressed, getting him to school, picking him up from school -early most of the time too, when am I supposed to work? What job do you genuinely think I can do? They'd have to also be able to accomodate me and my disabilities that I've sustained since having a disabled child and because of my disabled child.

Do you think most parents of non disabled children get more than 4 hours sleep a night, every night? I do. Do you think they get to eat at mealtimes? I do. Do you think they can shower without worrying about their child eloping? I do. Do you think they worry about the damage their children throwing their heads back so hard it bleeds or causes a significant amount of damage when your back is turned? No I don't.

Stop comparing SEN parents to non SEN parents. It's not even remotely the same.

We can't sustain work because we're at our physical capacity. If you can't understand that then you're ignorant.

This is the first answer to make any sense & gives me a better understanding. Thank you for being so honest.

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 14:55

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:50

What's your point?

You could have gone back to work earlier rather than being supported by other people? Why didn't you?

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:59

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 14:55

You could have gone back to work earlier rather than being supported by other people? Why didn't you?

Who was supporting me? I'd worked full time form 16 years old so had paid TAX & NI so had paid in to the system, so basically I was supporting myself for those few weeks & my employers were paying it so wasn't coming out of government funds.

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 15:00

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:54

This is the first answer to make any sense & gives me a better understanding. Thank you for being so honest.

Shame on you for requiring this level of detail of her and her DC's medical history from this poor poster to accept this, rather than listening to everyone on this thread with experience telling you it's not reasonable to expect OP to work.

Perzival · 11/12/2024 15:00

@Goodtogossip you realise anyone is just one accident, one episode, one seizure etc from being in the same position?

I'm not wishing that on you but if that were the case I don't think you'd be a ble to work part time, look after an elderly relative (you haven't said how many hours a week and if they're able to be independent), look after someone else's child who has autism, look after your own children and do all the othethlife admin as well as look after a complex disabled child and deal with the repercussions of that too.

If you think badly of the other posters you'll love me and my family.... ds has had high rate care dla from two years old, he was given high rate mobility from three years old (no real fight for that- tbh I wish there was as that would mean he isn't that bad). Both now given until he transfers to pip which I anticipate he'll get full allocation. He goes to a very specialist school with a full time 1:1 at all times and 2:1 when out, he has two PA'S funded by the la to take him out so we get respite (don't get too excited tho, not mega hours). I gave up work when he was one and probably will never work again as I'll be looking after him until I physically can't any longer. No I don't feel one ounce of guilt, most people can't do what I do and wouldn't want to as most people would rather not a have a disabled child.

You sound resentful when you should be grateful that you're not in that situation. If op gets carers allowance then good I hope she occasionally treats herself to something wonderful.

PS- when looking at the benefits parent carers get don't forget Make a wish trips, free carers admission, the radar key, bigger parking spots etc there really something to aim for.

XenoBitch · 11/12/2024 15:01

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:45

I go to my relatives home before work to make sure they're ok, dressed & make them breakfast. I then go after work to make them an evening meal, & tidy round & clean. I take them to appointments & have recently been down during the night a few times as they've had a fall or a TIA & have accompanied them to hospital & sat up to 9 hours while they have scans tests etc.

So I feel I have some idea of caring for someone with additional needs. What's the comparable needs of a 10 year old with SEN?

Your relative does not need constant supervision. OP's 10 year old does.
If your relative needed such a high level of supervision, they would be in a care home. OP's is doing the supervision herself... including at night at great cost to her own sleep. Her only respite, if you can call it that, is when her son is at school. Only then can she catch up on other things.

Jellycatspyjamas · 11/12/2024 15:01

I go to my relatives home before work to make sure they're ok, dressed & make them breakfast. I then go after work to make them an evening meal, & tidy round & clean. I take them to appointments & have recently been down during the night a few times as they've had a fall or a TIA & have accompanied them to hospital & sat up to 9 hours while they have scans tests etc.
So I feel I have some idea of caring for someone with additional needs. What's the comparable needs of a 10 year old with SEN?

First of all my 10 year old has been up three times during the night, so we're both exhausted. They were up twice the night before that and the night before that so we're running on multiple days of sleep deprivation. So I take him through his morning routine, having changed his school shirt twice because the shirt that was absolutely fine last week now feels scratchy and he can't tolerate it. He has to be supported through his morning routine so I can't leave him to get dressed while I sort his packed lunch (because he won't eat school dinners)

At age 10 he won't leave my side, so showering and getting dressed for the day happens at 6.00am, otherwise it just won't happen. We have breakfast and get out to school. I start work. At 10.30 I need to attend a meeting with school to discuss the supports he needs for transition to high school - they're starting the process a full year early because of his additional support needs. I get back to work at 12.30 having had no lunch because I used lunch time (plus) for the school meeting. I collect him at 3.00 because he can't tolerate after school care. He sits in my office chatting while I get on with my work as best I can with divided attention. At 4.00pm he drops his drink in my office - time to clean up the mess and then 20 minutes to help him out of a meltdown caused by the noise of the glass falling on the floor.

At 5.00 I log off work and start the evening routine, sort dinner, try to negotiate homework, baths and some time to relax/play with the kids. Except I have a 7 page form to complete for a health review for my DD and I owe my boss 2.5 hours of work which will be done once I get the kids to bed. I finally get to bed around midnight, ready to be woken again throughout the night and my day to start again at 6.00am.

And that's one child, I have a 13 year old with significantly more complex needs.

If I didn't work I'd be using the time while they're at school to clean my house, do their extensive admin and sleep.

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 15:03

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:59

Who was supporting me? I'd worked full time form 16 years old so had paid TAX & NI so had paid in to the system, so basically I was supporting myself for those few weeks & my employers were paying it so wasn't coming out of government funds.

The point of the tax and benefits system is not that only people who have paid tax can claim - it's not a bank account where you can only get out what you put in. OP's DH presumably pays tax and NI as well. OP may well have done too before she had DC.

Also - you do realise most employers claim back most SMP from the government don't you? So you probably were in fact, being supported by...the state.

shrunkenhead · 11/12/2024 15:04

You could get a part time job that works around your child while in school

SleeplessInWherever · 11/12/2024 15:04

shrunkenhead · 11/12/2024 15:04

You could get a part time job that works around your child while in school

Jesus. Please read the lengthy conversation that we’ve literally just had.

WouldiwantThat · 11/12/2024 15:05

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:59

Who was supporting me? I'd worked full time form 16 years old so had paid TAX & NI so had paid in to the system, so basically I was supporting myself for those few weeks & my employers were paying it so wasn't coming out of government funds.

But why 14 weeks ? You could have gone back earlier than that ?

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 15:06

Jellycatspyjamas · 11/12/2024 15:01

I go to my relatives home before work to make sure they're ok, dressed & make them breakfast. I then go after work to make them an evening meal, & tidy round & clean. I take them to appointments & have recently been down during the night a few times as they've had a fall or a TIA & have accompanied them to hospital & sat up to 9 hours while they have scans tests etc.
So I feel I have some idea of caring for someone with additional needs. What's the comparable needs of a 10 year old with SEN?

First of all my 10 year old has been up three times during the night, so we're both exhausted. They were up twice the night before that and the night before that so we're running on multiple days of sleep deprivation. So I take him through his morning routine, having changed his school shirt twice because the shirt that was absolutely fine last week now feels scratchy and he can't tolerate it. He has to be supported through his morning routine so I can't leave him to get dressed while I sort his packed lunch (because he won't eat school dinners)

At age 10 he won't leave my side, so showering and getting dressed for the day happens at 6.00am, otherwise it just won't happen. We have breakfast and get out to school. I start work. At 10.30 I need to attend a meeting with school to discuss the supports he needs for transition to high school - they're starting the process a full year early because of his additional support needs. I get back to work at 12.30 having had no lunch because I used lunch time (plus) for the school meeting. I collect him at 3.00 because he can't tolerate after school care. He sits in my office chatting while I get on with my work as best I can with divided attention. At 4.00pm he drops his drink in my office - time to clean up the mess and then 20 minutes to help him out of a meltdown caused by the noise of the glass falling on the floor.

At 5.00 I log off work and start the evening routine, sort dinner, try to negotiate homework, baths and some time to relax/play with the kids. Except I have a 7 page form to complete for a health review for my DD and I owe my boss 2.5 hours of work which will be done once I get the kids to bed. I finally get to bed around midnight, ready to be woken again throughout the night and my day to start again at 6.00am.

And that's one child, I have a 13 year old with significantly more complex needs.

If I didn't work I'd be using the time while they're at school to clean my house, do their extensive admin and sleep.

You've proved my point. That because you're able to work, you chose to work. Good on you & if you get any financial help then it's well deserved & I have no problem with it at all. You sound like an amazing parent that doesn't use her childs disability not to work.

Frowningprovidence · 11/12/2024 15:07

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 14:31

My children also have health appointments, dental appointments & sickness days too. How do I & other working Mums manage?

But why are your children having so many appointments if they are typically developing.

I don't understand why they are having weekly clinic appointments in clinics for a range of issues they don't have? Why are they at speech therapy every Monday, seeing a physio every wednesday, getting thier kidneys checked at the evelina hospital monthly, and having a six weekly medication review at the gp.

A dental appointment is every 6 months, with some choice over timing. Everday sickness is also limited and SEN children still have those as well as all the extra stuff.

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 15:11

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 15:06

You've proved my point. That because you're able to work, you chose to work. Good on you & if you get any financial help then it's well deserved & I have no problem with it at all. You sound like an amazing parent that doesn't use her childs disability not to work.

Do you think flexible WFH jobs that will tolerate several hours off a week for child appointments, working while DC is in the background, are accessible to everyone?

In addition, and perhaps most importantly, not all childrens needs are the same. Just because one mother of a child with SEN can hold down a job, doesn't mean all can. If someone is telling you they can't work because they are caring for their child who has high care needs, maybe just fucking believe them? Do you think it's fun having the pittance of £80 a week carers allowance rather than a proper salary?

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 15:12

SleeplessInWherever · 11/12/2024 14:07

We’ve told you, but it doesn’t fit your “scrounger” narrative.

The child may not always attend school full time, so those 6hrs are fictional. She’s a full time carer when he’s at home, so other things need to happen when he isn’t. She deserves rest when it’s available, like everyone.

Working mums without SEN children, don’t have SEN children and the pressures that come with that. This isn’t a pity party, but we are not the same, and thinking that we are is actual idiocy.

Can you list things a SEN Mum would do that a Non SEN Mum would do for their child so I have a better understanding of the difference please?

TigerRag · 11/12/2024 15:13

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 15:12

Can you list things a SEN Mum would do that a Non SEN Mum would do for their child so I have a better understanding of the difference please?

Has been answered in the last few pages

XenoBitch · 11/12/2024 15:14

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 15:12

Can you list things a SEN Mum would do that a Non SEN Mum would do for their child so I have a better understanding of the difference please?

Maybe go back and read the countless comments where it has already been explained to you.

If you don't know the difference, then consider yourself to be in a privileged position.

SapphireOpal · 11/12/2024 15:14

Goodtogossip · 11/12/2024 15:12

Can you list things a SEN Mum would do that a Non SEN Mum would do for their child so I have a better understanding of the difference please?

Several posters have given you examples several times over the last few pages.

You still haven't said why you took a whole 14 weeks mat leave paid for by the state, btw?