I am supposed to go to a birthday party tomorrow night but I don't feel like it

[Fransons]

My energy is drained and I don't feel like going. I am long term harassed on and off and it started again and it's taking a toll and I just don't feel like go out any more.

So don't go and just send a polite - and brief - apology. Sorted.

Just bare in mind it feels absolutely shit when your birthday comes and people start dropping out on the day.

is this an important friend, someone you work with? I've sucked it up and gone to parties I don't want to go to because I know that it's horrible when people don't turn up for things like this and because it doesn't take that much effort to attend a party and leave after an hour or so. Could you arrive, say hi to birthday person, have a drink and leave? At least showing the effort.

What sort of party is it? A few friends going for a meal type of party or lots of friends and family with music and a buffet type.

Friends and family and sit down meal.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll feel shit if you don’t go.
In your shoes, I’d go, hope to perk up a bit, but if I didn’t, I’d try to make an early escape.

Agree with this. It’s pretty flaky and the impact on the other person can be quite upsetting.

I would make the effort and go, it's a few hours that's all. I would be really upset if one of my friends/family dropped out of my birthday celebration because they just didn't feel like going.

Shitty not to go to a sit down meal that's been booked tbh.

Don't be a flake

Go to the party. You’ve got over 24 hours before hand. Get and early night tonight. Can you do some exercise tomorrow morning? Either a run or a video on you tube for 20 mins? I find this helps shift my mental state.

You’ll likely have a nice time and it will also help how you’re feeling. If it’s a dinner it doesn’t have to be a late night and you won’t feel compelled to drink lots. Push through.

I'd attend this and then make a concerted effort to respect my social battery and say no to any future social invites until you feel ready for it.

Go to the party, and leave early. Don't be a flake.

Imagine it is your party and people flake out just because they can't be bothered. You made a commitment, now honour it.

This is mumsnet so most people will say just don't go and put yourself first.

in real life of course you should go. Everyone has to do things they don't feel like at times.

If I didn't go to stuff I'd committed to just cos I didn't feel like it on the day I would have no friends left. Just go.

I never flake unless I am nearly dead or contagious. I know how upsetting it is for people especially if it's a sit-down meal, given everybody flakes last minute these days.

Couple of glasses of wine will perk you up I’m sure OP! What’s the alternative? A boring night in? Nah. Go and enjoy yourself!

Err, the majority of the posts are saying that she should go. I have no idea how bad the OP feels, but I think that she should go, if possible, and just decline any other invites that come up, until she feels recharged.

Harassed by whom, OP? Are you saying your harasser will be at the party?

yes, what's the harassing bit?

Actually they are saying the opposite.

What's the harassing bit about? Is that related who whose party it is?

The issue if you cancel is that if other people cancel too it'll be awful for whoever's birthday it is.

I think it's bad form to cancel when you've committed to something unless there's an emergency. Putting in the effort for loved ones is important.

Best answer. It’s really crap when people pull out of things. Go, if you can, and say no more often in the future.