I am supposed to go to a birthday party tomorrow night but I don't feel like it

[Fransons]

My energy is drained and I don't feel like going. I am long term harassed on and off and it started again and it's taking a toll and I just don't feel like go out any more.

In that case I think it's OK to pull out. As long as the others there have someone to chat to, it's fine.

I think on one hand I think I would love to go and have some drinks and get drunk and just not let that harasser win. But then on the other hand I just don't have the energy or the stamina to go with so many issues in the background and I will have to just wipe them away and put on a smile and pretend it doesn't exist. Then the idea of a long evening and night when I know myself by about 10 o clock I would love to get a bed unless if I am drunk I might hit the town.

I will wait til tomorrow to decide fully. I know I am busy in the day and in the afternoon and I know I will be tired too.

I wouldn’t want my family/friends to put themselves through a dinner if they felt that they would struggle mentally.

I am in a bad place right now mentally. I'm not very low but I am in a bad place.

No body understands harassment especially when it's prolonged and long term. It's so draining and you feel it every piece of your body when it restarts and you feel a rush going from your head to toes and then settling in your tummy to give you the runs all day.

Nobody understands it.

Do your family know you’re going through this @Fransons?

I've asked you a few questions, OP, but you obviously don't want to answer, which is fine.
I hope you are accessing help and support.

I’d make the effort in your opinion. I have one old schoolfriend who is notorious for agreeing to come to things and dropping out on the day. She missed my 40th birthday party due to a headache and I found it really upsetting.

If it makes you feel any better, all I want to do this evening is watch crap TV under a blanket with a takeaway but I’m going to a committee meeting half an hour’s drive away because a friend needs my support. It’s shit but I’ve got the rest of the weekend to chill.

Oh for an edit button!
In your *position…

I may have missed them due to the volume of messages

You’d be being a bloody awful friend/family member to ditch at this late stage.

You have got 24 hours to cocoon and rest up before going to the meal. Use them.

That's fine, I'm not having a go.
I just wondered if it was workplace, and if you had informed the police. Also if you are getting help and support.
I hope you are. 💐

They know I am being harassed but they don't know the very extent of it. The person who is doing it is extremely calculated and a lot of the communications she tends to send me is abusive but raises a lot of intimate and personal stuff too and it's a case of if I talk, I will be humilating myself.

I am in work today and this evening and I do not have 24 hours to rest up. I also have other stuff tomorrow morning and afternoon and it's all too much.

How horrible. This cannot be allowed to continue. I can understand your reluctance, but she's got to be stopped.

The police know but so far they were useless at times.

What a shame. Even with evidence?

I was getting some support from a stalking and harassment hotline but its not a huge great deal of support. It is helping me but not a lot.

To be fair, the excuse of being ill the day before is also annoying. People are usually ill for a few days and can give a bit more notice.

had this once when someone in a group of colleagues organised a night out, was talking about it up until the day before, then suddenly on the morning of she says ‘sorry I’m feeling sick’. Sure.

@Fransons sounds awful. xxx

When did the harassment start back? If it’s been for a little while you should have really warned your friend sooner. Needing time out is ok, but leaving it to the last minute to pull out is not.

But people do genuinely get sick at the last minute. This post reminds me of employers who want 24 hour notice before you get ill. People do genuinely get sick on a morning of whatever it is.

It's a few years. It's not every day. It comes and goes in spells and the spell has started up again just over the past few days. I swear it gets harder and harder with every spell.

This is someone who is not healthy in her own mind and feelings and she wants to blame someone as in me and then break me down. I coped well for the first number of years but it is chipping away at me. No one knows how bad this can be until you're in it.

Anytime communication seeps through the blocks, it just hits me.

Could you sit next to your most supportive friend who knows you're going through a hard time?
If there's quite a few people, your presence will be diluted.
I'm sorry for your situation

I don't want to unload my low and what is clearly a depression onto other people