Things I haven’t said out loud this week. Christmas edition

[YorkieTheRabbit]

We know you’re dropping hints and not very subtle ones either. No we haven’t seen you for sometime, I’m sure you do enjoy coming for a meal.
No we aren’t planning on inviting you over Christmas, if we can do a quick present swap, fine but no more.
I’m sick of catering for your family, coming to us for a meal doesn’t mean you don’t need to eat all day before you get here.
You all turn up, absolutely starving, the last time you came it was beyond ridiculous

You could always TRY INVITING US for once, even for a takeaway.

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

For the love of GOD listen to me when I tell you to start thinking of gifts in August. You have all sorts of grand ideas, no plan, no control over your own spending, won't shop on the scary internet, and now it's days to go, you're skint again, no money til 23rd, you want to do joint gifts with me now so they look more impressive. I was done and wrapped months ago.

Nope I won't fit in doing a haircut on your long hair in Christmas Eve. Again. I've been offering for months.
No I don't know if they'd like it, ask their mother.

No I can't plan because I don't know when that guest - who everyone knows is struggling - will be with us.

Next year no more gifts between us. It's become too grudging on your part. If it can't be done with good grace, I give up and don't want the gifts anymore.

For the love of God time to go home!! Can't stand the long suffering sighs if anyone so much as looks at alcohol.

I shall thank all the saints when it's over and I shall take you to the train myself or failing that a half dead horse and cart will do because you are not ruining hogmanay as well as Christmas. (Ds girlfriend).

Also to my mother, I did not get ill from not wearing a coat but from working in a school where attendance is everything and kids come in coughing sneezing and dying over the desks.

Best friend, your mum isn't old she's late 60s and not as ill as she makes out. It really really probably won't be her last Christmas so get off the guilt trip and stop getting into debt getting her presents she ll be ungrateful for.

More lightheartedly dear kitten you really don't need to climb the Christmas tree you're getting a big lad now and will have it over.

You’re a passive-aggressive knob.

Who the f**k is gonna do all that cooking!!!?

Remember when you were minimizing all the problems I was having with my brother? You didn't believe me when I was discussing the violence, the drug abuse and threats against my grandmother and children... You didn't want to know or get involved.
When my parents were sick and dying and I was constantly flying in from where I lived overseas to sort shit out?
Well, I know your mother has dementia and I live closer to her than you and your brother do, and you don't happen to speak to each other, I AM NOT YOUR GO BETWEEN!
I work full time, have heart failure and three kids of my own. I am not going to drive 1.5hrs each way every time you're worried about your mother, let alone call your brother because you don't want to talk to him.

Grow up and your own shit out.

When I said we are ok spending christmas eve with my parents amd christmas lunch at your parents, I 100% did not imagine cooking food for "10am brunch" myself, bringing it there, listening to drama how your parents cannot eat this or that although they normally buy and cook it.
And I sure as hell did not plan to spend the rest of the day going to your fucking annoying rest of the family for a "lunch" which is served at 2 when my kids sleep so I will eat around 3, some leftovers and listen to their shit until I can finally escape in the evening.

What I did say and now regret "as you have no idea what you are doing next week would you like to come to us for Christmas dinner" which would have been lovely had you come for Christmas dinner and then gone home but no, you then wanted to come on Christmas Eve and stay until the day after Boxing Day. So I said "choose which one night you really want to stay" and now you are pissed off. So I wish I had said "shall I buy you Christmas Dinner at the pub on the corner of your street" as part of your treats from us because you suck the joy out of everything and we'd rather have quiet day here".

Just tell me exactly what your children want as when I've bought gifts using my knowledge and love for them, I've never actually seen it in your house on the many, many times I babysit and help you out - and I find that upsetting. Moneys tight and if they don't be like what I buy, or it's not right for them then it's best if you just tell me exactly,

I always thought you had a nasty streak growing up but seriously who does THAT to their elderly mum and disabled sister on a family festive outing?

The dying pterodactyl 🤣

You refused to commit to your teens finally having Christmas with their dad cos you urgently needed to take them to visit your ill parent abroad. Funny how you can now leave them home alone for Christmas and go on holiday elsewhere without saying anything. Despite your best efforts, they'll have a great time now. Karma will get you.

We split the cost of Christmas dinner.

That’s how the family do it. It’s how they’ve done it for years. 25 of the 26 people coming have no issues with this. In fact at least 17 of the 26 wouldn’t come every year if they weren’t allowed to contribute (and the others are all children).

So either come or don’t. Nobody other than your poor embarrassed partner - their family you’ve called weird, odd, tight and rude btw, you seem to have forgotten that - actually cares if you’re there or not.

To my colleague who always puts zero thought into my Christmas gift we exchange each year. . .
Thanks for the Dove shower gel which I opened last week simply because I just knew it would be yet another crap gift and needed the laugh. Enjoy the b&m mug I bought you this year.

JUST FUCK OFF!!!

Ah, that felt good. Thanks, OP.

Ooh nearly an argument there.....Just because I don't know exactly all the things my new car does 10 days after buying it does not mean my memory is "terrible ".
If it were that bad I wouldn't be in charge of 30 16 year olds every day.

Remind me what job you do? Ah nothing.

I cant believe you like your dad more. He's so boring and lazy and can be Mr Tumble as he only has you 2 nights a week and that's only because he has a girlfriend. I hope you learn

If you break my favourite bracelet, you should replace it straight away, not save it and present it as my Christmas present.

Your grandchild doesn't need a 1st December box, a present from the Elf everyday, a Christmas Eve box and the Million things you've bought him for Christmas.

Especially as you'll be moaning in January that you're skint and it's so hard being a single Mum who can't work.

Shit Roo you should write a book 👀

Haven't heard from you all year and that is absolutely fine.
Ding dong merrily on high.

Stop doing things to 'help' when it just makes everything 10 times worse.

Also whilst we are at it, please also stop putting a massive downer in EVERYTHING and then just saying "that's just how Christmas was..." when it hasn't been that way for over 50 years for you. He might have been overbearing and made things difficult as a child but you've had at least more than 3 times as many Christmases where it hasn't been that way but you still have put a dampener in each one since and now both my sibling and I have the memories of you doing such for our entire lives.

Oh God yes, and agree with the previous poster too. I just seem to be put on earth in order to give everyone else a great time. No one cares if I am having a good time or get anything I would like. I’m really sick of it.
Next year I’m due to host six adults a child and a baby . I want to run away. I haven’t had anyone invite me for Xmas for twenty years at least.

When you ask what he wants for Christmas and I suggest gift cards from his favourite electronics and gaming stores, I am not being lazy. It’s because-

1. That’s what he wants; and
2. Every year I fly 1800km with my 3 kids to you and I can’t lug huge presents home.

He’s 13. For god’s sake stop buying him Lego and remote controlled cars.