Mum kept baby hidden in drawer for nearly 3 years !!

[benjaminjamesandgraham]

Even Christmas day she was kept in a drawer - oh how can someone be so cruel
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gz1dv8ly2o

Not not really I’m afraid. That level of neglect cannot be reversed.

We know this from the sad outcomes for the vast majority of children rescued from Romanian orphanages in the 1980 and 1990s. And at least the Romanian children had interaction with each other and some lived with their families until they were 3. This poor child didnt even have this.

I’m very pleased to read that the foster carers are going to adopt her - if she has bonded with them they are perhaps her only hope 😥

What have I just read?!

I can see how this could have happened, having some understanding doesn't detract from the horror of the situation.

My own story is the death of one of my children from something that, it turned out, was genetic.

When I found out it was genetic I also found out I was pregnant within the same week,my then husband had also ramped up his abuse and I had moved away with my dc to an area where we knew nobody.

I absolutely shut down. Refused to accept I was pregnant, refused to even acknowledge it because then I would have to go for tests and face up to potentially losing another child, my brain just wouldn't allow me to deal with it. I also had no childcare or anything like that and stuck my head in the sand over the whole thing.

I didn't tell a soul until I was 32 weeks, but the longer it went on the harder it became to tell anyone.

(My child was absolutely fine thankfully, but I still guilty every single day).

I can imagine a scenario where she hid it or didn't know, then got to birth, then felt guilty because of her child's disability, then taking a couple of days to get her head around it, then being worried she would get into trouble and so she just fell into this horrific situation, the longer it went on the less she felt able to tell anyone.

Understanding that the Mum could have been in a very difficult situation doesn't mean that the abuse of this child is being excused or accepted.

To things can be true at once the mum being in a fucking tough situation, and the child also being horrifically abused and neglected.

Jail is the right place for her, and I really hope all the kids involved get the support they all need.

I remember watching a programme about child neglect and social workers working with families with children coming up to 3 years old. It was stated that conditions needed to change before the children were three otherwise some of the impact could not be reversed

I think we really need some kind of safe haven system in the UK.

A male parent did something similar, he started at 20 months though and it went until she was 13. After that, when they found her, she basically became a scientific experiment. He was charged with child abuse and shot himself, leaving a note that said "The world will never understand." 😏

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Genie_(feral_child)

I couldn't agree more, I avoid the news for this exact reason and have been unable to think of anything else all evening.

I've worked in child protection for years and I have seen some pretty horrific things in my time and read about a lot more but this ranks as one of the worst things I've ever heard, the utter cruelty of it is breathtaking.

How come no one else heard her cry? Was she so ignored that she is mute? Did her mother never speak to her? Did the baby just lie there in darkness and silence?
This is giving me the shudders.

‘Sometimes, little kids stop crying or making much noise when they know that no one is coming 😔’

This makes sense but it’s heartbreaking😭 not making noise because they know no one will come is awful & will stay with me☹️

It's not a huge leap to be honest.

The maternal instinct to feed the child. Keep it alive safe etc V the revulsion of what the child represents.

As I say, the story is horrific and all the children are going to need a huge amount of support to recover, but the 3 year old will need so much intervention to develop and heal.

But I can understand the type of circumstances that could lead to the situation.

There is, but it will be difficult. When babies cry they expect their needs to be met - that’s what their instinct tell them will happen. When their cries are not responded too appropriately they develop survival strategies of their own and their neurological pathways develop in a different way. So their brains are wired to react differently to situations than they should be. It’s way more complicated that though. I’m not explaining it well.

My daughter was left to cry, so when she came to us at 2.5yrs, she couldn’t stand being wet - even a drop, she rejected me as the mother figure for such a long time, she didn’t trust me to take care of her, she pushed me away…because I would end up rejecting her anyway. She fed until she was sick, then ate again, or would not eat in order to control her environment, On the face of it, I have a very independent little girl, in reality, she’s scared, really scared, worried that I will abandon her. She knows why she’s small, she doesn’t understand why her birth mum couldn’t change for her.

She will have many issues as she goes into teenage hood, but she has the best support for now, we are braced. Her older brother suffered different neglect/abuse - his trauma manifests differently. But we are very aware of how their trauma manifests so we are prepared and kind of understand it. They don’t remember any of what they went through, but there are definite triggers, my son used to meltdown if the car journey was over 10 mins long, His hyper vigilance is off the scale, my daughter can’t be left anywhere alone for any amount of time.

without giving excuses to our children’s birth parents - they really did not know what ‘normal’ looked like, they had their own trauma and didn’t understand how a family should function…they didn’t stand a chance. Some days I’m really angry and I hate them, but I understand the circumstances that they came from, and I can’t hate them….my kids came from them.

Read about the story of the little girl Genie. She suffered similar abuse and neglect and never recovered. Or the Romanian orphans who were kept in cots their whole childhoods. Just absolutely appalling and heartbreaking. (None of these are easy reads).

Severe neglect causes brain damage, and she won't even have been able to stretch and move as babies usually do to develop their muscles and coordination. At three she was the size of a seven month old and couldn't walk. She's also been deprived of experiencing normal human relationships. Think about how much language a three year old has, how cheeky they can be, how complicated their relationships. This poor child has so far to go to get there, and may have lost the chance to ever develop certain skills because of the deprivation she suffered at such a crucial stage of development. It's likely she will always be severely disabled. I am glad to hear her foster family want to adopt her. Knowing love and belonging can only be positive, but sadly even love can't regrow missing brain and muscle. I'm sure she'll be able to grow and develop, but normally? Very very unlikely, probably impossible. Those early years are really important, you can't just pause and resume them later.

I can't get my head around this either, she must have atleast cried for a few months? How did the child's siblings or the mother's partner not hear a newborn baby crying in the house?

@AllYearsAround Sorry if I missed it, is she in foster care and how was it known what the foster carers said?

Neighbours? Would the neighbours not have heard in the initial months?

I actually can't put into words how horrified I am having just read that article 😭 that "mother" actually kept her child in a drawer?! My heart breaks for that poor wee girl and her siblings for missing out on their wee sister due to their cruel and evil mother

Many of the Romanian children kept in those extremely neglectful situations went on to live full lives. Despite the poor predictions many were able to make amazing progress once they were given a lot of love and care. I remember one girl joking with her (adopted) Dad about when she used to be obsessed with drinking water and would drink out of the toilet. She was in uni at the time of the interview.
What I’m saying is there is some hope that she will make lots of progress and live a happy life now she’s away from that nightmare situation.
However, her ‘mother’ deserves to rot in her prison cell.

@AllYearsAround this is what I wondered too.

Setting aside the obvious massive wrongs of this, to keep the child alive in this way required more 'care' than to have abandoned her or let the baby die at a few hours old.

On some (clearly deeply disturbed) level there is a degree of something akin to care, albeit very much not in the best interests of the child.

We only know a fraction of this story. It must be more complicated. Doesn't make it any better for the poor child but there's undoubtedly information the public don't need to know.

My thoughts exactly. My heart breaks just at the thought of how long she was left there. Also, weren’t there any health visitors after her birth? It’s odd that nobody seemed to know about her existence apart from her monstrous mum. I’m also curious as to who the visitor was because he or she must have alerted social services straightaway or I’m assuming they called the police which then got the ball rolling. I’m so glad that she was find by this kind visitor and hopefully can now receive the love and care she needs. Just don’t understand how not a single person in the household did not realise what was going on?

https://www.itv.com/news/granada/2024-11-26/mother-hid-child-in-drawer-under-bed-for-almost-three-years

It is absolutely horrifying, truly lije something out of hell. That poor, poor child, what she has been through seems unbelievable if it were not true.

The mother must be deranged and I am not sure what seven years of prison is supposed to do. Some sort of mental treatment or intervention seems more appropriate.

In a police interview, the woman said she had not known she was pregnant and was "really scared" when she gave birth.

This seems a classic case of, in this case a form of, infanticide which is often preceded by denied pregnancy. ( People were reading articles about infanticide on mumsnet re Paris Mayo in 2023.)

I’m so stunned. Words fail me. I do agree with the person up thread that there needs to be a way to relinquish babies anonymously to prevent extremes like this.

That poor child.

From the Guardian article:

“[She] has had her first Christmas with us, we have done so many ‘firsts’ with her, putting her in a swing and she just sat there not knowing what to do or expect,” the carer said. “Her first step, her first word. It is so sad to think so many of these things are her firsts but it is lovely to be able to spend these moments with her.”

The senior prosecutor, Rachel Worthington, of CPS Mersey-Cheshire, said: “This child has never had a birthday present, a Christmas present or anything to recognise these days. She’s had no interaction with any of her siblings.

“She hadn’t known daylight or fresh air and didn’t respond to her own name when she was first found.”

I understand this to mean she can now speak/say words and walk. So there is a hope for some sort of development into a normal life

This is reminding me about Smile Train and how I should donate.