Mum kept baby hidden in drawer for nearly 3 years !!

[benjaminjamesandgraham]

Even Christmas day she was kept in a drawer - oh how can someone be so cruel
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gz1dv8ly2o

How do you know this? I don't see any official court documents available to confirm why or why she didn't neglect the baby. As I said, I am speculating and the reason for that speculation is because evidence reviews show that in some cultures, babies with cleft lip are considered a punishment for misdeeds with some cultures even going as far to label the child "satan" in their native language. These children can be isolated and don't go outside to see the light of day.

The only other explanation is that she just wanted a baby to neglect for some kind of sick pleasure. Which also sounds really odd since she had other kids she was looking after at the same time, who she wasn't neglecting.

Also, we DO need to know reasons behind these kinds of cases happening. It's how change happens. These cases turn into reviews and then learnings are taken from those reviews, based on all the things that caused this abuse or neglect to occur. Writing it off as "people are just evil" wont do anything to stop this level of abuse taking place.

these kinds of cases

Mercifully this is very rare. But I have no doubt there are hundreds of " Sara's" out there.

Just want to add this as a bit of a positive
....from the CpS

Within two weeks of her admission to hospital, the child was vocalising, seeking adult comfort and crying to make her needs known. She has continued to make progress and has been operated on twice to rectify the cleft palate. However, she still requires further surgery.

I'm afraid this doesn't surprise me. Little lad we fostered was kept in a dog cage for first 3yrs until he went into care, but the courts and SWs insist he should see birth mum regularly in order to maintain that relationship. IMO, that just normalises something that is in no way normal. He is bright but has no empathy for others, struggles to bond with adults, and cannot understand that actions have consequences, so is incredibly / dangerously impulsive. I've met birth mum, she seems perfectly nice and normal. You have no idea what people are like beyond what they present to the world and how they can justify themselves.

That’s positive.

A friend of mine in USA adopted 2 baby girls from South Korea, one of whom had a cleft palate and hearing difficulties. She is now doing fine after operations and has graduated uni there with a good degree and got her first job as a graduate. The other girl was born premature and has ADHD and spectrum autism and is also doing well, she had more challenges than her adopted sister (not born to same parents).

My goodness-
He’s bound to have colossal Attachment disorder and other problems.

It’s a shame that grossly unsuitable people can become parents.

Keeping a child in a dog crate!
Poor child should have been removed at birth and adopted.

But probably no signs of abuse then.

Very young adoptions seem to be more successful than children who have undergone severe neglect and abuse.

You can google the court reporter news and many others to see the judges statements,

honestly I’m surprised people are commenting without even respectfully understanding the case. It takes not long. At least read u0 before throwing wild theories out there. This was nothing to do with the little girls cleft palate.

I am so, so sad for that poor baby. It’s difficult to imagine that someone could be so cruel. Just awful

Absolutely no idea why MN just reposted a draft. My phone is playing up, apologies for the resent post. Too many tabs open. 🥴

Read every one of my posts. Not one excuse, so I am not at all hellbent on anything. I also have been clear I do not know all the details and don't want to. All I am doing is refusing to label some evil eith every limited set of facts. Her actions are evil, of course. But I do not know enough about her to sit in any kind of judgment.

Well you sleep easy saying that. I'll keep my mind focused on the poor baby who has been horrendously abused, with the rest of her life ruined.

(I don't know why MN re-posted an old draft, I have too many tabs open so I think it must have got caught then finally gone through. Wasn't trying to tag you to cause an argument. Tbh I don't really even want to argue about this, it's an awful thing and like I said earlier, too close to the bone for me after losing a child. I'm getting angry and vitriolic.)

Actually, I'm leaving this thread now because I'm name calling and that's just not me. I can usually debate but I can't do it on this one, and I'm sure I'm going to say horrible things to people I wouldn't usually argue with.

Apologies if I've hurt feelings. It's a terrible topic, it's very upsetting for me and I don't want to be involved in arguing over it. Off to get a cuppa. ❤️

The judge called her 'wicked'. I personally think they might not have chosen that word if there was some horrendous backstory about the terrible plight of the mother. Of course I don't know that so I don't need to be told so. If I'm wrong and there was a terrible backstory, it still would have been less cruel to abandon this baby on the most freezing night of the year. She has ruined her life instead. She'll never lead a 'normal' childhood; she'll have attachment issues in relationships... I could go on and on.

I really think it would be a good idea to try and clear this from your head. It is just so disturbing. I don't want an argument either, I don't want to give over a lot of heads pace to this even. If I focus in on this case, or that poor baby for any length of time, I won't sleep at all.

It is close to the bone for me too. I cope with those things by trying to emotionally distance myself. I hope that you can too, because under anger there is always hurt and it sounds like you have had more than enough of that!

You are certainly correct, but it is the most terribly unimaginable though.

Thank you, lovely. I'm sorry I was a dickhead, I just really found myself disturbed by this and I don't usually - I can normally switch off from news stories. I'm definitely going to try and do the same, it's an awful thing all round and no matter what we all think, there's been so much pain involved. People arguing won't fix it, it's just emotions being high and turbulent.

Again, I'm really sorry for being a bit nasty there. I hope you're okay, and you can also get a bit of peace from it!

You weren't a dickhead, you were a person responding to something profoundly upsetting cutting close to the bone.

I am sorry if I seemed short. It is hard to express things on threads sometimes. I was not being sarky when I said I thought you were being affected by this because of your experience, I really was thinking that this problem is not a good thread for you or story to read about. It is not for me either.

I am OK, but also leaving. I did not mean to upset you. I hope you have a peaceful night x

Oh my this is just....I have no words.
I'm grateful that she plead guilty and didn't subject 12 strangers to the details of what that poor child went through (this is one reason I hope I am never called for jury duty).

Can I ask, who is this Sara that people keep referring to? Am I just being a bit thick?

You weren't short or sarky, I've looked back and I was just defensive. I think certain topics can be really difficult to express in written words, I'm sure IRL we would never have even reached a level of mud-slinging on my part. Some writer I am, eh?!

You didn't upset me at all, I upset myself. I hope you have a lovely evening. Huge Un-MN hugs to you. x

Id just like to say this for anyone lurking - there was nothing stopping this woman from placing her baby in the care of social services and then to be adopted . Absolutely nothing.

She could have said that the baby’s father was a one night stand and she had no idea who he was. She could have given birth in hospital, refused to take the baby home and left and no one could have stopped her.

It’s not hard to place a baby for adoption in the UK. It’s not quick , as they have to be sure that there are no other options within the extended family. But it’s not hard ( I mean legally or practically Im not speaking about emotions).

If this woman didn’t want the baby, she had other choices which she chose not to take.

No one compelled her to keep the baby and neglect her.

Sara was a little girl of 10, who was abused and murdered by relatives.

Her case is very sad.

https://www.stuff.co.nz/world-news/360475669/murder-jury-shown-video-british-girl-dancing-just-days-death

The case is still ongoing. Here is the more up to date information.

WARNING UPSETTING CONTENT.

guildford-dragon.com/latest-evidence-in-sara-sharif-trial/

Nb there's already a few threads on the Sara Sharif case

E g

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5187432-jesus-christ-will-this-never-end?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=share

@Losingthetimber I did read the judges comments. It also wasn't clear exactly what her motivation was.